My husband has a mistress. Wants to live together. Did you live together? ZHMZH, Swedish family We live with my husband in three

Website, Cerisy-la-Foret

Julia's family life did not work out: even two children did not help keep her husband. The mother-in-law offers to take custody of her granddaughter and take the child for herself, the woman still has nowhere to go, and she herself will not be able to support the children:

“I’ve been with my husband (civilian) for 6 years, I met him late at 31, immediately gave birth to a girl, then a second, the boy is not even a year old. I myself am from the region, my husband is a Muscovite. Premarital apartment - husband, mother-in-law always helped, she is alone. My husband always walked, but I closed my eyes, because. provided for us, I did not work, I took care of the house.

The last two years have been just a nightmare (when I found out about my pregnancy, I just went on a spree, didn’t appear at home for weeks, either at my mother’s or at work. And now he said that he loves another and that she will live with us! I’m against it, but go nowhere: to our parents - we simply won’t fit there, there is one room for me and my mother (and she will definitely refuse to accept us) My mother-in-law offered me to take my granddaughter to her (but with the condition that she would be the official guardian).

I should probably give up my daughter, but I can’t and don’t want to. Yes, I do not argue, she helped us a lot, her daughter loves her very much. But it turns out that there is still no way out, if I leave my daughter, I won’t be able to pick her up, because. the son is in her arms, there is no work, no housing, and the age is already under 40. What should I do? I can’t live under the same roof with my husband - he is a traitor, and the girl he brought as a daughter suits him.
Julia

Website, Retro

The women decided that the author’s infantilism was to be envied, and she herself was to blame for all the troubles:

“You knew that a man walks and always walked away from you. The man didn't marry you. You gave birth immediately at 31, as soon as you met, he continued to walk. You give birth to the second, for what purpose? The man was clearly going to leave you, and then the second pregnancy. I would say that he is super noble, which does not drive you away. You are sitting on his neck, in his apartment, and he is also a traitor? You just don’t tell him this, otherwise you will go out into the street. ”
Anonymous

“The man was walking, but you were not working ... What do you want? I had to work at the alternate airfield"
Anonymous

Website, Marasa

“Gather your nerves into a fist, find at least some source of personal income and ignore this couple as if nothing had happened. Smile to everyone and always, say: "good" while becoming more active in search of personal security, including from moral pressure. And in no case do not scandal. Oneself in order - necessarily and children - a maximum of love and care. Children are your everything, don’t give them to anyone!”
Anonymous

“1) File for divorce and alimony
2) Where are the children registered?
3) Go home with children. What does it mean that mom will not let you in, you are registered there, you have the right to live.
4) Children to garden and work. While living on alimony until the garden
What are the other options?"
Anonymous

“What can I say. Live together! Let time work for you - make yourself a plan of action. Raise children, build skills, look for a job. Do not fall for grandma's manipulations! Beloved granddaughter is YOUR trump card, behave wisely.
boa D*

“Try to seek help and advice from public and religious organizations. Do not be left alone with this problem - they will crush you. Just don't swing the law, be healthy."
Anonymous

“Where is his husband? Stranger, move out and file for alimony. Amazing innocence."

Christine: Hello Olga!
Thank you so much for your trust service. I always read with interest your answers - so subtle, close to me. And now I decided to write, because I want to know your view on the situation in which I got. I'm just going crazy!

The fact is that the three of us live together, although I dreamed of an ordinary family. It all started 3 years ago, when I was struck by talented works (I am an art critic), it turned out that their author, Valery, is older than me, although he looks like a peer: yoga, martial arts. Bright appearance. Witty and very deep can talk about everything from computers to ancient religions. In general, he conquered me immediately, however, his charm is usually felt by everyone. Friendships began when together - not in a cafe, but at archaeological excavations, etc.

He soon admitted that he was now on his third divorce. According to him, the wives are smart, beautiful, but for some reason they leave for the sake of others. Now "the women in his life are over." In addition, his relatives openly declared that I was "gray" for him. So I didn't expect anything. I just wanted to distract him, because. after the departure of his wife, he seriously tried to end his life. Insomnia, depression, very homesick. At his request, we spent more and more time together.

After 2 months, Valery became my first man. Suddenly, he "came to life" - he said that he was proud of our closeness, because I "gave my virginity." From that day on, he prepared for me surprises, entertainment, candlelit evenings and baths full of roses. In general, the romance you dream about. Every day is like an adventure: designing a website together, writing a book, learning Japanese, flying in a helicopter, swimming under the moonlight, etc. Every night is like an erotic film. All this, fortunately, continues to this day.

On his advice, I changed my appearance and became more stylish. Friends say that I blossomed with him. He wanted more and more intimacy, which even scared me. Every day he called, wrote, told about everything that happened without me, even took it with him to parties where everyone came without women, at work he listened only to my criticism. It was embarrassing that he told all the dreams, even erotic ones, about other women, details about former loved ones. He himself was jealous even of his friends, employees, of everyone.

Outwardly independent, Valery was responsible with me. We moved in six months later. Then I began to hope that we are a couple, and not just friends. We often talked about his students, especially our favorite, Lena, who was in love with Valery. He, laughing, read her notes, poems. A talented girl copied him both in work and in life. Before our eyes, she grew into a tall, curvy, athletic blonde, outwardly similar to all Valery's wives (I am a small, flat brunette).

Once I returned from a business trip, and from the threshold he began to ask me to forgive, because. was close to Lena. Allegedly by chance: after a student-teacher party in his house, she asked to spend the night, began to declare her love, they were drunk ... He repented that he had hurt me, he was ashamed. But from that day on, all the talk was only about Lena. Like, he is a scoundrel, and she is a victim. He was the first man in her life.

Lenin's parents found out about their relationship, made her a scandal. He was tormented that he left her in trouble, even for the first time he took to drink. I could not stand it, and I myself asked to call Lena, to support. But new meetings led to new intimacy. And he told me all this. But now he convinced me that Lena was a genius, a beauty, a noble person.

Without scenes (remembering that we promised to be friends) I moved to my apartment. I said that I would arrange my life, and they would be a good couple. But he just went crazy: he came to me, to work, called, even cried, sent flowers and letters with requests to return. He said that he would not forgive himself for this, he did not want to be a scoundrel. What worries about how I can live alone (I have no relatives). That he's in love with both of us. With Lena spoke only about me. And vice versa. I started seeing him again. So "the three of us" - for almost a year. Lena convinces me that she is not a rival, she simply cannot live without him, Valery is her idol. Everything suits her. But she's 18 - her life is ahead of her. And I will soon be 27. Outwardly, we do not quarrel with her, we help each other at work and at home, we have many common ideas. But inside, it's a huge stress for me. Constant comparison with a young, beautiful girl.

If Valery had treated me cooler, I would have left: but, as before, calls, care, frankness, gifts, sex - everything is wonderful. I am not jealous with them, but at home I often cry: there is no family, no future, I live alone. I can't even change him. And I don't want to. And he is still terribly jealous. And Lena too. It seems that it is climbing out of the skin so as not to lose us. You know, he had a difficult childhood: his mother constantly left him in an orphanage, then in a hospital, then to distant relatives, she treated him very indifferently. He lacked affection so much, constant fear that she would leave him forever.

Maybe that's why he won't let Lena and me go? He is afraid to lose women - whether he is needed or not ... Is it possible to love two at all? Or to me - a habit and pity that I'm lonely? Or an exaggerated responsibility for us? He says, wait - Lena will outgrow her love and leave me. So I'm an "alternate airfield"? Her parents (but not her) demand that Valery marry her. And he began to ask me to give birth.

Maybe it will bind him? Or, on the contrary, while I walk around pregnant and tortured, will he go to Lena? And what's in store for the baby? What if she gets pregnant (her dream)? Valery and Lena see the only way out - to live, sleep, raise children together as a family. It scares me. Yes, and it seems that we will start to quarrel. But it's better than loneliness... Or "compete" with Lena, push her out of Valery's life? Or leave? But it will hurt both him and me. I'm completely confused. Help, please, from the outside, maybe something is clear ...

Olga-WWWoman: Hello Christine! I know the bohemian environment quite well and I can say that such things are quite common in this environment. But I can say just as definitely that you should not create family relationships with such a man. You just can't stand it and leave anyway.

But your specialty and professional environment are also not conducive to family life, as far as I know female art critics - everyone is lonely ... It would be worth giving birth in any case, even if there is no husband, but without relatives this is a big problem, as I understand it.

From Valery in your place, I would not give birth - your son or daughter by inheritance may have the same problems with family life like his father did.

You won't go anywhere yet - you love him too much, he keeps you close by himself too tightly. He is greedy for life, for new sensations. He is sometimes romantic and wears it in his arms, and then he forgets about the existence of a woman. Everything is based on impulse, mood, expression. Familiar. How familiar is this...

Sooner or later, you will get tired ... but now, while he asks not to leave him - condescend, communicate, but I think sharing sex with another woman is somehow destructive, or something, despite all the bohemianism and blurring of the moral standards of his circle. .. Where can you put jealousy? Plus she's younger and his favorite type...

I do not think that he loves her, but as a man he is flattered by her love. Both you and she are compensation (how, two virgins gave him themselves) for his defeats with his wives, compensation for a difficult childhood and "dislike", for humiliation from previous women.

If you can’t see him - meet as a friend, but sleep with him - I don’t know, I don’t know ... After all, Lena, she is probably so calm because she doesn’t consider you a serious rival, but what she says is still necessary divide by 20...

As a woman, you must respect yourself and fight to be the ONLY one for him. I think it's worth a try. The most natural condition would be: either marry her, or tear. No other is given. His egoism must be curbed, because the current situation is extremely convenient for him, but he does not think about you, let them, they say, figure it out among themselves. And you, each in your soul, hope that someone will not stand it and leave. You can wait for years, it's better to immediately put all the dots on i. - let him, a man, decide, not small - whom he loves and with whom he stays.

Only I am afraid that he does not love anyone but himself, talented and beautiful - he only amuses his pride and needs excessive affection, attention and love. He respects and loves only himself, unique, and his desires. His God is Desire. Decide whether you will fight for him or not. But since from the very beginning he limited your relationship to "friendship", then there are very, very few hopes for more.

All his words and deeds are just conscientiousness and unwillingness to look like a complete bastard and selfish in your eyes (so it seems to me). A woman for him is a Goddess, and his outbursts have little to do with you personally. He is preoccupied with selfishness. Such men love themselves in the process of love (let's hope I'm wrong). All of them consider themselves geniuses and need worship and great love, most often unrequited. In their hearts, they respect few people, initially considering others as a "crowd". But they know how to love women, only they are not able to love one, for them each is the embodiment of all the women of the world. And only having met one in which he will find the embodiment of many of the brightest women for him, he can stop and fall in love seriously.

Christine: Thank you very much for your letter! What a clever girl you are, Olga, it immediately became easier on my soul! I tried to convey the facts without judgment, but you saw everything as if you knew him, said what I had been thinking about for a long time. And that he doesn’t even know me or Lena as people. And that a woman for him is an abstract goddess who can be idolized, feared and hated at the same time. And that he doesn't love us both. Yes, and in general is not capable of this feeling.

It would seem, what am I waiting for, if so? Where is the pride - to meet a man who does not love and sleeps with another? This is what I often say to myself. :) But I think it's not about attachment, I could break up with Valery. The reason is complex ... or just nonsense ...

In general, I looked through my first letter to you: indeed, everything began with his work - even before we met. It's not easy for me to get into anything. After all, as an art critic, I am already a terrible nitpick and critic. :) I meet various unrecognized geniuses in droves. And I don't even like it. But Valery's paintings are, well, true, talented. For me, this is something very valuable. Probably, just a complex of each person with my specialty - to discover talent.

But, oddly enough, I don’t even want to amuse ambition: I don’t believe that Valery will “unwind”, and for some reason I don’t give a damn whether one person will appreciate him or a million. The best part is that he doesn't care either. But when you come across something amazing... and when you see how such a painting is born right before your eyes... and in general grows out of all this life... When, on the verge of your knowledge, you puzzle over how, for example, to solve a compositionally conceived theme. Not trite. And suddenly a person easily gives out this! Where there is a wall for you, for him it is a "green door". In general, his painting is something more than me, and Lena, and himself - put together.

Of course, he is not the only one. How many tales are circulating in the same bohemian circles about real phenomena - those who have drunk themselves, hanged themselves, ended up in a psychiatric hospital. Why, it's not even a pity for them - the possibilities are ruined. And now you look forward to what else he can "do" from a person, because he does everything so easily - work, since God has given you such opportunities! And then he gets poisoned because of his runaway wife, then he drinks because of an 18-year-old girl ... It's clear why.

A very smart and adult Valery leads the brush. And he acts - a boy who has not grown up. A five-year-old frightened kid among strangers, about whom his own mother forgot. Unnecessary, lonely, abandoned. Too familiar from my own childhood. I want to make up for the dislike. And all the time you are waiting for "podlyanki", looking for evidence of love. You can lie to a woman that you have cancer and follow the reaction. Or right after her friend's funeral, ask for intimacy. Who, they say, is dearer to her: me or the deceased? Cruel, selfish, of course. A normal woman after such "tricks" can leave ...

Only this is not from narcissism - from the inability to love oneself without nourishment from outside. Valery is terribly cruel to himself. Imagine, an adult can seriously starve himself, because today he did not deserve dinner at his place! Someone has to justify it to himself ... And it is better to spend energy on creativity than on licking wounds.

Here I am - like I got rid of the childish thirst for affection. Not by myself - I got wonderful friends. Warmed up - had the strength to grow up. But Valery was not caught ... And neither bohemian beauties nor prosperous girls will understand his "oddities". Although their love greatly increases self-esteem. And then thanks. I alone could not give him too much affection. And Lena somehow even "unloaded" me. The only such "hungry" person is trying to make both a mother, and a friend, and a mistress, etc. Also sometimes she takes revenge for the fact that she is a hostile creature - a woman. Against the background of touching games of romance.

I tried more than once to become just a friend to Valery, but refusing sex for him is the same as rejection. Again unwanted! And marriage is a form of violence, something disgusting. So he won't marry anyone. Therefore, I will either decide to leave, or I will fight for his work, that is, for his bright mood.

Now Valery, despite his hectic personal life, works from morning to night. It just shines. I don’t know if this is love on my part, if when he once got bored in the middle of “prosperity”, I myself arranged for him the opportunity to go on a very risky trip. Extreme sport. Adrenaline did its job: inspiration returned again.

But a woman in love with him would probably only think that he would risk his life - and dissuade him. I am ready to bring him and the harem myself, if only I don’t waste time on “passion-muzzle”. Just a simple "falling in love" will not solve anything by itself. But he understands his children's complexes, tries to grow up, changes.

I believe that the main thing is for him to understand everything himself, while the world is not seen as so hostile and as long as it is obvious that women spoil him, he deserves love. And if he can fall in love with someone in a mature way, I will be the first to congratulate them and disappear.

It would be nice for Valery, probably, to go to a psychotherapist. But for him it is a shame, worse than death. I hope I'm not trying to realize myself at his expense. I have my own business and successes. But co-creation with him, Valery's works - for me something like a matter of life ... just look at them - doubts disappear. That's only when I'm tormented, tired - the professional in me sleeps, and the woman begins to cry over her, sort of, unsettled woman's share. But, to be honest, neither the family nor the child really shines for me. So why not try to create conditions for a good person to create a good painting? If he evokes a sea of ​​tenderness in me, and without his love, there is still enough strength (subject to a conscientious attitude towards me and care), why not give it to someone in need? Once again, thank you so much and sorry for the confusion.
Best regards, Kristin

Olga-WWWoman: Every artist probably dreams of such a woman. He needs you while he needs you, nothing humiliating but your<не расставании>no. Moreover, you put higher your mission to support talent. Your role in everyday and moral terms is unenviable, but who knows... a person does not live by life alone... if you see your path next to him as with an outstanding talent, then there is no disharmony... Your goal is not a family, but Service. I understand it...

He was lucky, he met a woman who is on a different level of consciousness than most women, a woman who sees her destiny ... I could not share my husband with someone else, even for the sake of a great creative goal ...

Apparently, I am more down to earth, or maybe I have not experienced the ecstasy of worship in my life ... I understand everything that you compromise, suffer in your soul, make sacrifices for the sake of this child genius and step on your feminine pride.

You can both sympathize and envy. Envy that your life is spent in creativity - both in your own and next to the creativity of a richly gifted person. I understand that THIS is how much is forgiven, and while it is being forgiven, goodbye. There will come a moment - sorry. I wish you to live in peace with yourself, and I think you will not be bored ...

Christine: THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING!!! TRUST SERVICE
//////////////.

Hello. I have been living with my husband for 12 years. I am 31, he is 32., daughters 12. I thought that everything was fine until some time. Conversations began on his part that I don’t really fantasize in bed, I want something more. And I have some kind of stupor, I lie and in a panic think out how to diversify our sex life. I had a complex and made a mistake, tried it with another, changed it. Acuity of sensations
yes there is .. at the initial stage, but I would like all this to be with my husband, but I can’t relax, I’m all worried that there will be banal sex again, but how and where they didn’t do it (and he liked it), but every time everyone is afraid of some kind that something will be wrong again. She told her husband everything about the betrayal, forgave her. He says what did I do wrong to you that you did this. Yes, it's okay, I feel guilty. But this is only the beginning. He met another, fell in love, met her quietly for two years, and then came in frustrated feelings and said that she was leaving me. Maybe I would understand everything, I myself parted with my lover, it was hard, but I realized that I have no one more dear than my husband and tied up all relationships on the side. But the husband can't. He says he loves me and her. He introduced me to her and I don't blame her for anything. She doesn’t leave him, apparently there was a temporary impulse and now they are dating, I know about this and don’t know how to relate to everything. And I love him, and I'm jealous and I've been living like this for almost a year. I tried not to pay attention, but the problem remains, I worry about everything in my soul and roar into my pillow at night. Sometimes I break down, I talk about a divorce, I ask him to make a choice, but I know that it’s hard for my husband to choose too. Sex in general has come to naught, as I imagine that he goes to bed from another to me, so there’s nothing reluctant at all, what a fantasy! The husband says, change your attitude to all this, accept everything as it is. But I can’t, as soon as I hear her name, everything breaks inside. Tell me how to be, I don’t want to part with my husband, and he, too, but it’s unbearable to live like this anymore.

Nina, Russia, 31 years old

Family Psychologist Answer:

Hello Nina.

It's hard to come to terms with the fact that her husband is different. We do not live in the Muslim world and have grown up to be a second or first wife. Your feelings are completely understandable. When two people live together, publicly or not publicly there are rules of this "hostel". Very often, spouses do not agree on these rules and they themselves develop, spontaneously, so to speak. But what to do when one of the partners is not satisfied with the rules, and he does not want to live like this. Then you can agree on new rules that would suit both. It is clear that we will have to compromise, to give in something, but in the end to get more satisfying living conditions. If it doesn’t work out in any way, then you can turn to a third party, for example, a lawyer who will help you conclude a marriage contract, in which everything will be spelled out. Or to a psychologist who will help to negotiate. There is such a technique in family psychology, called "mediation", with the help of which spouses most often manage to agree on how they will live on.

Sincerely, Moskova Maria Valerievna.

Girls, tell me who has friends who live together, no matter zhmzh or mzhm. Do you know how they managed to reunite?
Under what conditions would you agree to let a second girl into a relationship? I love both.

I would never let another woman into bed. No, it’s unacceptable for me, and I wouldn’t be able to share my man with another! ZHMZH not for me.

A man would let in for sure, I think. "If I were a sultan, I would have three wives." For relaxation, you can spice it up in a relationship. I don't see anything wrong. The main thing is that everyone is happy.

There is a movie with Scarlett Johansson - I don't remember the name. There about it - two women one man. But there were some tragedies. So, author, do you need it? Or is your life just too easy and fun?

There are such acquaintances, a handsome guy lived with a woman, gave birth to a lyalka, and then they let a third character into their lives - it was a man of 40 years old, he fucked not only a girl, but her husband. Try smearing your ass with honey! I don't know if it will help, but you have to try. It seems that Mayakovsky lived like this with his beloved Lilia and her husband.

Here experience and indifference are needed. As for me. Under no circumstances would I let it go. It's not love then. It's one thing to live - just in one apartment, and another thing is to talk about ZHMZH, that is, as an author - he loves both. What? That is, some kind of polygamy, well, this is game in my opinion.

There is a familiar family, they live in the same house: wife + husband + ex-husband+ a child from the former and a child from her husband, with whom she is now. Nothing so MZHM them. I don't understand this.

I would never deal with such people. Fu damn, fu nah. Second girl? In a relationship? Are you a beggar, author? You do not have your own apartment or apartments. You don't know how to make money yourself? What girl? Nafig you surrendered to the third person (if this is not your child). This is nonsense!

I have a friend who lives together, she and her two cats. There is an acquaintance. A very wealthy man, lives with two girls. Contains both. They drive to rest all together, they are high.

Was 22-23 years old familiar with the family of swingers. More precisely - with the company. Well, what can I say. Not stupid people, well educated, living their desires. Sometimes reflecting on their lifestyle. Especially the men. Strange as it may seem, they were more embarrassed than their wives. No, they didn't drag me into their "lair". Not raped and not dishonored. Why am I? Yes. To each his own! Life is short, live as you wish.

I only know three homosexuals who lived together. The main thing is that everyone is happy!

No friends and well. I don’t see the point in this life, except for problems and headaches, such an experience will obviously give nothing. Is that suitable for a certain stage of life.

I have a friend mzhm. Both love her very much and therefore sacrificed principles and agreed. This does not work with women, we will shove love up our ass and leave, but we will not humiliate ourselves like that. The exception is if the girl is a specific bi, more girl-oriented. Maybe then she will agree to live together.

They were an absolutely adorable couple. 15 years together, small (then) recently gave birth. They continued their swinger party. Of course, I was shocked, but I really liked them as individuals. In "childhood" she generally loved to gather freaks around her.

The Sultan has been found! And then they will conspire together and slaughter you! In general, in Israel, this does not happen, here, I would say, the largest concentration of perverts. Well, mutual fights are normal, right there in the army girls are also trained to swing. I would say not matriarchy, but equality. The decree, for example, is only 3 months before and 3 after, men sometimes take a post-natal decree and sit with their children, depending on who earns more.

Well, they don’t mind, men love children. There is no "real woman" here, " a real man". We live in accordance with the capabilities of everyone. But Russian wives, brought up in the way we are all used to, still strive to shoulder everything, of course.

Well, there the guy major with the strip came together. And they hung out for fun! I knew them well. Great, funny guys, junkies. But why, what and how I do not know. I know such people, but there is hardly any love there, but sex - yes. We lived together and not only.

They need a family like everyone else, they really love each other as a couple, they say this keeps the fire in their relationship. You fuck with others, then you pounce on each other like rabbits, their swing games have clear rules, like any game. Do not fall in love, negotiate with your spouse about every adventure (there are no hidden whores), that is, betrayal in terms of betrayal is unacceptable. I communicate well with such a company, they dream of dragging us like fresh blood, but my husband and I are not ready for this yet.

In principle, I understand the essence of what is happening. Almost everything changes anyway. So isn't it better to do it frankly? Apparently this is another stage in the development of relations. You have to grow up to it. I have such friends. But they lived like this during the turbulent informal youth. In adulthood, people live alone or as a family.

Sore subject, man. I met a man, not bad, courted beautifully, attention to the sea, and then take it and blurt out what ex-wife they were friends with a couple, it was certainly unpleasant, I don’t accept this abomination, but I thought that it’s not a fact that this could affect me, but in vain. In short, I ran from him and stumbled, the sediment is still.

They say that some people have their heads torn and tantrums against this background. I think it's important not to rush things and not start doing it out of fear of betrayal, but only when one of the couple (or both) report that they would like someone new. Sex MZHM, for example.

There is a familiar trinity. MZHM. They live like this, in apartment Z, at first she lived with one M, then a second M appeared. Yes, he is blind, in the literal sense, an invalid. She gave birth to a child. The blind man thinks it's from him. But in fact, from the first. And he doesn’t call any of M dad, and his patronymic is different from the left.
In my opinion, it's immoral.

I don't see a problem at all. Disperse with the girl and hang out with at least ten. And live with your mom. Everyone will be happy. Why invent unnecessary problems! All perverts are like perverts. And you are just creatures, fierce blasphemy!

Here is how it was. I knew one couple, cool guys, they were in the circle of mutual friends, but they never talked closely. On vacation, we accidentally crossed paths and began to hang out together, somehow we drank too much, and my wife fell asleep, and my husband and I slept. The three of us had a lot of fun and upon our return we continued to communicate very closely, and we were so good and interesting with each other that it seemed that we couldn’t live without each other. My husband and I continued to be lovers, but my wife and I became best friends like sisters. And somehow, after the birthday, as usual, the three of us left to continue the fun, we got very drunk and when we went to bed, then at the suggestion of me and my girlfriend, a threesome happened and from that night we began to live in three. I don’t know how it happened, but I loved them both, we all loved each other and began to share life and bed. Of course, not everything was smooth, there was jealousy and some inconvenience, but it was something special. I adequately perceived my role in all this, so I left them alone for several days, didn’t make scenes, although I was jealous and didn’t give reasons for jealousy to my wife myself, it suited everyone .. except for me. So it all ended logically, now we continue to be friends with my wife and communicate with our husband, without a hint of sex, when we parted, we seized all the grief, so now there can be no question of anything, but spiritual intimacy remains and therefore we still so far friends.
I know that no one will understand this, I don’t need it, I hope my story will help the author in some way. The Swedish family is a double-edged sword.

And I'll add more. If you chase two hares, you won't catch a single one, you know that? And there is. He can’t have anything with me now, his wife can’t fully trust him now, and after me their life can’t be the same, maybe they will even break up. I advise you to choose one, it is better to lose one than both, and so it will be if you decide to be with both.

Girl never. If the three of us live, then I alone in this state should be a princess.

This post made my heart ache. I live with a guy (I hope we get married, I love). So. We met him 9 months ago. Relations immediately. He offered a threesome fmzh, I agreed, but only sex. So it happened 3 times. There was no jealousy (well, maybe a little), just sex. Then he had the idea to live together. I thought I would die at that moment. Fell head over heels in love with him. He began to look for a girl, young, beautiful ... but! Horseradish young and beautiful, smart, economic will agree to this. I calmed down a bit. Then I found his correspondence. He wrote to the girls, invited them to my apartment, promised full support (he and I work and will support this girl). Time passed .... he calmed down, this idea disappeared from him. I feel his love, he has changed. It’s good that I endured it then. But the pain was unbearable. I forgot about this already. The post reminded me. Now introduced: me, he and she. Yes, I'd rather stay alone, although I'm not jealous. How can I imagine that some girl in a dream will hug him, lie under one blanket, sniff on his shoulder - fu .... how can I forget this nonsense about the Swedish family now?

In relations between a man and a woman, the third is superfluous. Even if the main girl is not jealous, she will still not like it. The second one is even more so, she can fall in love and count on something serious. After all, at the level of the subcortex, any woman has a desire to be the only one.

Why don't men understand this? I said so to my own: well, let's say the second one comes into the relationship. What if she wants more? He tells me: then he will go through the forest. It will not be fair, our hearts are not made of stone.

If I didn’t love my husband, I would gladly have hooked up with a girl. The more I love myself beautiful girls. But I love my husband and I will not agree to this dregs. The author, most likely, wants to experiment sexually, there is no love there.

I would let only a cook or a cleaner to clean the hut while my husband is at work, and we would walk with the child. But sex ZHMZH for me - treason. I wouldn't let a second girl in our bed, life.