Why do girls want to get married. Why do girls want to get married? Clues that this is your man

The fact that getting married is not the most important thing in a girl's life, girls understand, having already married and faced with the fact that this is not at all like the life of a fairy-tale princess in a magic castle. In an amicable way, not all girls can be married: I do not want to spoil their lives, neither they, nor young people; however, fighting the fact that girls want to get married is pointless. Moreover, this goal is not bad: in the movement towards this goal, girls can both grow wiser and get acquainted with what self-control, discipline and control of their emotions are. You can get married successfully by accident, but accidentally becoming a good wife won't work, here you need to be able to take care of yourself and follow the rules. So, if in striving to get married, a girl teaches herself to follow the rules, teaches herself to subordinate her desires and impulses to what is "necessary", she will master one of the most important life lessons. And that's great.

My daughters read the book "Rules. How to Marry the Man of Your Dreams" by Ellen Fein and Sherri Schneider, it seemed to them practical, and for me it turned out to be a good reason for me to write an article about this and even include an interesting one in the curriculum of the University of Practical Psychology task related to this book. I used the materials of my daughters, complementing my observations on how calculating girls act. I find a lot of these recommendations controversial, but I know that many girls use these tips with success. This means that other girls have the right to know about it. And, by the way, let the men be warned about this.

So, lovely girls and charming women, you are the rules!

Any business has its own rules, there are rules for building relationships with men, and you should know them in order not to make unnecessary mistakes. If you behave correctly, the man calls you and invites you. If a girl tells herself and others that he is “just afraid of commitment” or “not ready for a relationship,” there are two options: either the girl is completely unattractive, or, most likely, she behaves incorrectly with him. If you want to get married, what is the right way to behave?

First, you are always happy. Sometime you can be nice to a young man, sometime cool, but this does not negate the main thing: your inner "Good", inner well-being. You always have cheerful eyes and a sunny smile. You never complain, you are never upset (can you handle it? It is necessary), you do not speak ill of anyone. Always behave politely, like an English queen surrounded by lovely subjects.

Second, you look after your appearance and look great. It is clear that you do not have any bad habits (is that already so?), This is incompatible with your task. You eat right, you do sports and dancing that are beneficial to you, you have a graceful figure, you are always dressed femininely, neatly, brightly and tastefully. You know the details of this science better than we do. We are about relationships. So,

The third and main thing is that you treat men well, but you do not strive for marriage, you are not in love with anyone and are not very interested in relationships. Every detail is important here.

First, you treat men well. You have a positive outlook on life, you like life, you treat people well and men in particular. You do not like to complain, you are not offended by anyone, you do not plan to take revenge on anyone, the men are not goats and bastards, no one has betrayed you - and so on, everything is fine with you. Did you agree?

Second, you do not seek to get married. Never say "I want to get married" in any conversation with a man. For men, this formulation sounds completely different from how it sounds to girls, it sounds to them the same as for girls it would sound from a man "I want a woman." Men hear "I want to get married" as "I want to be on a man's neck so that he can support me and take care of me." It's another matter if you once say: "Of course, you always want to have a loved one by your side, whom you can take care of, with whom you can build a happy relationship!" - The content is the same, but it sounds attractive.

The third and most important thing is that you are not against relationships with men, but men need this more, not you. A great strategy - "ice and fire", when you easily go into a warm and close relationship, but any claims of a man on you (like "Now you are my property") you nip in the bud. If you like a man, why not be warm and frank with him, why not take his palm in your palm or put your hands on his chest, convincing him of some little thing? This promises the man the future warmth and joy, but if he came today not shaved or he looks bored, run the back of your fingers thoughtfully over his stubble and say seriously: "You are out of sorts today. Let's meet another time, when you will me!" You do not depend on his decisions, you have a life that suits you perfectly, and you can easily "click a man on the nose" if suddenly he shows disrespect to you even in the smallest detail. This is one of the most important aspects of your tactics: to keep yourself so that the man is more interested in the relationship than you are.

Why is it so important? Men are not like women, they are hunters by nature. Real men don't need easy prey, they need to pursue and conquer. Women who call men, invite them on dates, buy two tickets to a show “by accident” or offer to have sex on their first date, deprive men of their ambition and hunting instinct. Men are born to be hunters, they need to chase prey or else their interest fades.

As Bob Marley wrote, “If she’s amazing, it’s not easy to get her. And if she’s approachable, she won’t be amazing. If she’s worth it, don’t give up. And if you give up, you’re not worthy. In fact, anyone will hurt you . You just have to find someone who is worth your suffering. "

Therefore, your task is to make the man feel every minute that he needs your relationship more than you. You know the signs: the one who speaks first and the last one is more interested in a relationship, who speaks more than a partner, who has a more interested person, who suffers from a breakup, who can postpone all other things for the sake of a relationship and forgive disrespect ... , you have to behave differently.

If you are not yet very experienced on the love front, keep yourself more restrained: do not throw interested glances at men, look and smile "nowhere", look relaxed and free. Over time, as you begin to better understand men, you can allow yourself to act more risky, take the initiative first - but for now, just be friendly. Why, if a man and a woman meet their eyes, not smile and say: "Good afternoon!" This is normal, just like holding a glance at a man who suddenly interested you. A confident woman can hold her gaze on the man she likes and wait for his eyes to meet yours. Continue looking at them for three seconds, and then smile and look away, very slowly, but not embarrassed. You don't need to do anything else. Don't look at the man anymore. Your appearance attracts everyone, and your gaze attracts a select few.

On the first date, a woman's gaze should be riveted to a man, only coquetry and mystery should be read in it. This, like self-confidence, does not come immediately and the look can easily be (for now!) Replaced by your sweet politeness: in a cafe, discuss the interior, look at your food, consider the restaurant visitors. Show interest in life, other people, paintings on the walls, but do not show special interest in a man: he should be interested in you, not you in him. If he doesn't, this man is simply not yours.

When a man invites you somewhere, mentally count to five and only then agree. It will make him nervous, which is good!

On the other hand, when a man invites you to take a walk and eat ice cream, go to a bar or go to football, and you would like to have a romantic dinner, do not be mischievous, agree. Remember: you are difficult to conquer, but easy to live with! You can go to an expensive restaurant some other time.

You do not speak to a man first and do not invite him to dance - let him take the initiative. Do not allow yourself phrases like “let's have a coffee” and “do you often come here?”, Leave these wonderful phrases to your boyfriend! When a man tries to date you, don't say, "I'll just be in your area!" and do not suggest restaurants that are between yours and his addresses, unless the man himself asks. Let the man work on his own to find a place that is comfortable for you. He will be proud of his success - do not deprive him of this joy!

As much as you like a man, you are not looking for reasons to meet and do not rush to develop a relationship: it's easy to start a relationship, it's just that nothing serious comes out of such a relationship. Don't call your man when you're bored and want attention. A man may start to entertain you, but after that he will never marry you. If you really think about your (and your) future, you behave with restraint: you do not offer to discuss at lunch what can be discussed over the phone. You don't call first. You do not call back even when he called and you did not have time to pick up the phone. It is normal to call back if you have changed plans, you will not be able to come or will be very late. But never call a man just to chat!

But what if a man left you a message on Tuesday night and you're dying to spend Saturday night with him? Do I need to call back on Tuesday? NO! It will become very clear to the man that you are calling to arrange a date on Saturday. Better if he calls you back on Wednesday night (this is the deadline) and offers to meet on Saturday. And if he does not call back on Wednesday, then let him suffer without you on Saturday. You will suffer too, but it's worth the right future perspectives.

Another rule of thumb is that you always hang up first. You are the first to say goodbye while talking on the phone and press the "End Conversation" button - simply because men are nice, but this is not the most important thing in your life.

You're busy. You are very busy! "I have a million to do!" is your favorite phrase. And it is true! Serious men don't marry a fool, so you really need to have a to-do list for every day. Start writing your own affairs, just think about the main thing: you must become worthy of the most worthy man. In addition to work, look for good trainings: there you will be taught to think (which men appreciate) plus it is easy to get acquainted there. Indeed, surfing the Internet is stupid, but it is important to be where promising men are.

Imagine: you did it, you got married. What will happen next in your relationship if a man suddenly discovers that you are not at all busy with anything and just hung up on him? This is a very undesirable option. If you start to say that you are busy, really start building your life so that you have a lot of important and reasonable things to do. Start writing to-dos for the day and follow this plan.

You are busy, so when a man calls you himself, do not talk to him for more than 10 minutes. You are busy, so you should end your conversations, like your dates, first. Yes, sometimes with regret, because it was pleasant for you next to him, but ... "Sorry, I already have to go!". By ending the conversation first, you make the man want a new conversation. Here are some more good phrases to end the conversation: "I have a million things to do", "I was pleased to chat with you", "I'm a little busy now", "My mobile is calling, I need to run!", Just let them sound in your performance politely! If you find it difficult to take care of yourself, set a timer on your mobile phone, and when it rings, you honestly say: "I really need to go!" The timer rings - you say goodbye. And you remain mysterious and desirable.

You are busy, so you need to arrange a date with you three days in advance. Three days - remember! If your man calls later than Wednesday, don't go on a Saturday date: you're busy! If he calls on Thursday and casually asks, "Honey, what are you doing on Saturday night?", You can politely refuse him. In your most affectionate voice, say, "Oh, I'm sorry, but I already have plans." A couple of times a man will get a bummer, after that he will start to treat meetings with you more carefully. Ideally, the man should invite you at the end of the last date. If he wants to meet you on Saturday, he must call on Monday or Tuesday.

The format must be followed from the very beginning of your relationship. If a man makes last-minute dates with you, he will be just as inattentive in family life. Accustom him to the right format of relations, this will be the key to warm relations in the future, and this is necessary for both you and him.

If you become attached quickly, these rules can be difficult to follow. Therefore - restrain yourself, do not rush to get attached. Only when you are ready to part with a man will he understand that he must be with you. Men propose when they understand that they can lose the one they love.

The development of your relationship should be like a slow dance, where the leader is a man. At least, it should seem so to him. He should be the first to say: "I love you. I miss you. I told my parents so much about you. They really want to get to know you." A man should be an open book, you should be a mystery. When he wants to guess you seriously and makes you an offer, do not resist: invite him to discuss the questionnaire "Fundamentals of a family contract" and honestly discuss with your loved one everything that awaits you in the family. These will probably be wonderful discussions, after which, perhaps, you will have an even better life together.

And now - explanations and comments to the comments.

First. As the comments showed, girls do not understand well the difference between "love", "relationship" and "married". This article is not about how to create a warm and reliable relationship, much less how to live with love. This article is for those girls who want to get married. If you follow these rules, you will get married faster than your girlfriends, but no one will tell you whether there will be warm relationships and love in your family. Warm or bright relationships are created in a different way, Love - which with a capital letter - is born even more in different conditions. About this - another article, namely "How to get married happily." However, one does not exclude the other, and if you try and learn, you will have everything. But you need to learn, not just wait and hope.

Second. Once again: "relationship" and "getting married" are different things. Warm and sincere relationships are created by warmth, openness and sincerity, but they do not at all guarantee that you will get married with this approach. And then sometimes you have to choose. Many men are drawn to close and warm relationships, but are afraid of family. They will go for a relationship with pleasure, but they will not invite you to get married. If that suits you, great! If marriage is more important to you, then you need to build your tactics differently: as it is written in the article.

Third. The rules described in the article do not at all guarantee you that a man you are interested in will propose to you. She guarantees something else: you will not waste time on those men who will kiss with pleasure, and they will not make you a serious offer. Is the difference clear?

Fourth. If, on the basis of the rules of this article, you get married safely, no one promises you a wonderful family that will take place by itself. No, this is a separate science, the questionnaire "Fundamentals of a family agreement" will really help you, but it does not guarantee anything either. A worthy family is created only by worthy and well-mannered people, and how much you and your chosen one managed to do this, you will see for yourself.

Well, the fifth. I like these rules most of all because they are difficult for girls and require self-control and self-organization from them. If a girl manages to become stronger than her feelings and begins to behave reasonably in order to get married, she already thereby creates the basis for later behaving reasonably in the family. This is a great study. In any case, remember: no matter what recommendations you make, the smart ones get smarter from them, and the stupid ones make even more mistakes.

Good luck to you!

Video from Yana Happiness: interview with professor of psychology N.I. Kozlov

Topics of conversation: What kind of woman do you need to be in order to successfully marry? How many times do men get married? Why are there few normal men? Childfree. Parenting. What is love? A fairy tale that would not have been better. Pay for the opportunity to be close to a beautiful woman.

This question is often asked by men. They are surprised by this desperate feminine desire to go down the aisle.

Other times

It would seem that other times have come. The minds of modern men and women are mastered by high technologies, the desire to cognize the subtle matters of their own ego, and finally, unrestrained heights of career growth ...

Women, no worse than men, plan their fashionable life-being. This includes: receiving up-to-date education, traveling to exotic countries, attending classes in breathing yoga and much more. They also have a lot of abstract interests that do not bode well for any mothballs.

No technical progress could erase the desire for a family from the female sex.

And suddenly, in the midst of all this highly intellectual expanse of "Bumts!" and a woman's cry: "I want to get married !!!"

Yes, in the life of every girl or woman there comes a moment when one day, on the way to work, she sees a couple with a baby in a stroller ...

She stops, as if she was struck by thunder, it becomes difficult for her to breathe, a treacherous lump rolls up to her throat and a clear thought arises in her head: "This is what I want."

Looking back into her recent past, everything seems unimportant and insignificant to her. Success in work, a car earned by sweat and blood, travels to distant countries, proudly bought sapphires and diamonds - all this turns out to be nonsense compared to the fact that she wants to become a mother and wife.

No technical progress, no emancipation could erase from the female sex the desire to create a family hearth, laid down in our genes hundreds of thousands of years ago.

Feminine nature is designed to bestow love. It is a physiological need to hug and kiss. This is a genetic thirst to take care, to bother, to warm their loved ones. And thus, to experience happiness itself.

All this is combined into a simple phrase: "The girl wants to get married."

This is a wild animal desire to hold a child to the heart. It is inexplicable, beyond reasonable control. This is what we women are given at the level of instincts.

It's a maternal instinct.

It's hard for men to understand. At the same natural level, they do not experience even a thousandth of this female need to have a child.

And this is the answer to the question: "Why do women want to get married"

Civil marriage is a surrogate for the family

The men are shocked. It smells like mothballs, it's married. The trend is cohabitation, mistakenly referred to as "civil marriage" (civil marriage is an official marriage registered at the registry office), but in fact it is cohabitation. It is modern, relevant, does not contradict the craving of individuals for personal freedom.

And here lies one funny or sad contradiction. At the last census, it turned out that in our country there are more married women than married men. Excuse me, excuse me, how can this be? Explain!

The explanation is simple. Here lies the deception of "civil" marriage.

Women living in such a union consider themselves married, but men do not! They consider themselves free, because they are not officially married!

Men have secured a strong belief that "a good deed will not be called a marriage." Among them there is a craze for frivolous relationships, desperate avoidance of serious relationships.

Men play almost openly against marriage and family. It becomes a real art to drag them into the cell of society. A rare male specimen is able to get to the registry office.

I always did not understand male excuses on this topic: “Everything is fine with us. Nothing will change from the official press ”.

Then why not just do it for the sake of your woman, if it matters to her? If it doesn't matter to you, go and just do it for her.

But no. Men understand the importance of a formal piece of paper.

Note that for some reason these same men have all the other official papers they need for life: a passport, a military ID, a work book. They are not afraid of the health and pension insurance card. But for some reason, the square stamp of the registry office on one of the pages of the passport frightens.

I sincerely believe that men should officially marry the women with whom they live. This is a normal, honest act.

Sharing a celibate living like a stone in the bosom of a man

This is especially true for long-term residence. I've seen a lot of such couples.

The guy "fooled" the girl for more than five years. He received all the benefits from this cozy and comfortable union, he encouraged his girlfriend. She spent her years and feelings on him, waited for him to "mature". Suddenly everything ended, he went to another and got married hastily! So he was ready, but he didn't want to.

Such cases are common. Sometimes a long cohabitation still leads to marriage, but soon an official divorce follows, which suggests that there was originally a wormhole.

Life observations show that a real sincere serious relationship leading to marriage matures within six months to two years.

That is, if you have been dating for more than two years and they do not make an offer to you, it means that the man does not see in you the woman of his whole life. It hurts and hurts. But have the courage to admit this to yourself and take a new path.

Clues that this is your man

Your man will want to marry you in the first months of dating. Perhaps at first he will not speak openly about it. But in his conversations you will hear plans for the future (at least for the next week), the frequent use of the pronoun "we". These little tips also include getting to know your family and friends. Well, if your man told you in a fit of feelings that he wants a child from you, here are my congratulations! He is yours.

The highest degree of a man's confidence in a woman is to make her the mother of his children. It also comes from the Paleolithic. This also smacks of patriarchal and antiquity, and this is true, for real.

Such an honest relationship leads to a real marriage, it is good to create a strong family with them.

The love story of Rostislav Rostropovich and Galina Vishnevskaya

I remember the strong marriage of the great musicians Rostislav Rostropovich and Galina Vishnevskaya. They lived together a long, happy married and creative life.

Rastropovich made a marriage proposal to Vishnevskaya on the fourth day of their acquaintance. Many years later, during an interview, he was asked what he thought of that hasty proposal. He replied, "I've lost four whole days, damn it."

These are the words of a real honest, loving man.

I agree, such stories are one in a million. Stories like bright comets in a dark sky. They make you dream and hope.

To get married, you have to stop wanting to get married

The famous psychologist Mikhail Labkovsky claims that in order to get married, you must stop wanting to get married.

Ancient human wisdom is visible here. A woman paranoidly longing for marriage is unattractive as a person, as she is limited by her narrow matrimonial interest. She obsequiously looks at any man in the hope that he will become a groom. She agrees in advance to any compromises in order to be called a wife. She is weak and dull in spirit.

This is where you need to turn off your basic instinct, as Labkovsky urges. Forget about marriage as the goal of your whole life. And take care of yourself. Work on yourself in every sense of the word. Live life to the fullest despite your celibate status.

This heals and enriches the psychological background of a woman. She transforms externally and internally, becomes more attractive to the opposite sex. Why?

She's not looking. Men feel it. They are relaxed and open, just like a woman.

Therefore, anything can happen to them. And love and marriage.

Men want to get married too!

At a certain stage in life, most men are ready to start a family. I have a lot of thirty-year-old decent guys who dream of getting married. They want to get married, have children. They are remarkably conservative on this point.

They will never ask with a laugh: "Why do girls want to get married"

Because they know the answer. And they agree with him.

This question is often asked by men. They are surprised by this desperate feminine desire to go down the aisle.

Other times
It would seem that other times have come. The minds of modern men and women are possessed by high technologies, the desire to cognize the subtle matters of their own ego, and finally, unrestrained heights of career growth ...
Women are planning their fashionable life as well as men. This includes: getting up-to-date education, traveling to exotic countries, attending classes in breathing yoga and much more. They also have a lot of abstract interests that do not bode well for any mothballs.
And suddenly, in the midst of all this highly intellectual expanse - bam! - and a woman's cry: "I want to get married !!!"
Yes, in the life of every girl or woman there comes a moment when one day, on the way to work, she sees a couple with a baby in a stroller ... She stops as if she was struck by thunder, it becomes difficult for her to breathe, a treacherous lump rolls up to her throat and in her head a clear thought arises: "This is what I want."
Looking back into her recent past, everything seems unimportant and insignificant to her. Success in work, a car earned by sweat and blood, travels to far abroad, proudly bought sapphires and diamonds - all this turns out to be nonsense compared to the fact that she wants to become a mother and wife.
No technical progress, no emancipation could erase from the female sex the desire to create a family hearth, inherent in our genes hundreds of thousands of years ago.
Feminine nature is designed to bestow love. It is a physiological need to hug and kiss. This is a genetic thirst to take care, to bother, to warm their loved ones. And thus, to experience happiness itself.
All this is combined into a simple phrase: "The girl wants to get married."
This is a wild animal desire to hold a child to the heart. It is inexplicable, beyond reasonable control. This is what we women are given at the level of instincts. It's a maternal instinct.
It's hard for men to understand. At the same natural level, they do not experience even a thousandth part of this woman's need to have a child.
And this is the answer to the question: "Why do women want to get married."

Civil marriage is a surrogate for the family
The men are shocked. This "marriage" smells like mothballs. The trend is cohabitation, erroneously referred to as "civil marriage" (civil marriage is an official marriage registered in the registry office), but in fact it is cohabitation. It is modern, relevant, does not contradict the craving of individuals for personal freedom.
And here lies one funny or sad contradiction. The deception of "civil" marriage is hidden in this. Women living in such a union consider themselves married, but men do not! They consider themselves free, because they are not officially married!
Men have secured a strong belief that "a good deed will not be called a marriage." Among them there is a craze for frivolous relationships, desperate avoidance of serious relationships.
Men play almost openly against marriage and family. It becomes a real art to drag them into the cell of society. A rare male specimen is able to get to the registry office.
I always did not understand male excuses on this topic: “Everything is fine with us. Nothing will change from the official press ”. Then why not just do it for the sake of your woman, if it matters to her? If it doesn't matter to you, go and just do it for her.
But no. Men understand the importance of a formal piece of paper.
Note that for some reason these same men have all the other official papers they need for life: a passport, a military ID, a work book. These documents do not frighten them. But for some reason, the square stamp of the registry office on one of the pages of the passport frightens.
I sincerely believe that men should officially marry the women with whom they live. This is a normal, honest act.
This is especially true for long-term residence. I've seen a lot of such couples.
The guy has been messing with the girl for over five years. He received all the benefits from this cozy and comfortable union, he encouraged his girlfriend. She spent her years and feelings on him, waited for him to "mature". Suddenly it was all over, he went to another and got married hastily! So he was ready, but he didn't want to.
Such cases are common. Sometimes a long cohabitation still leads to marriage, but soon an official divorce follows, which suggests that there was originally a wormhole.
Life observations show that a real sincere serious relationship leading to marriage matures within six months to two years.
That is, if you have been dating for more than two years, and they do not make an offer to you, it means that the man does not see in you the woman of his whole life. It hurts and hurts. But have the courage to admit this to yourself and take a new path.

Clues that this is your man
Your man will want to marry you in the first months of dating. Perhaps at first he will not speak openly about it. But in his conversations you will hear plans for the future (at least for the next week), the frequent use of the pronoun "we". These little tips also include getting to know your family and friends. Well, if your man told you in a fit of feelings that he wants a child from you, here are my congratulations! He is yours.
The highest degree of a man's confidence in a woman is to make her the mother of his children. It also comes from the Paleolithic. This also smacks of patriarchal and antiquity, and this is true, for real.
Such an honest relationship leads to a real marriage, in this case it is good to create a strong family.
I remember the strong marriage of Rostislav Rostropovich and Galina Vishnevskaya. They lived together a long, happy married and creative life. Rostropovich made a marriage proposal to Vishnevskaya on the fourth day of their acquaintance. Many years later, during an interview, he was asked what he thought of that hasty proposal. He replied, "I've lost four whole days, damn it." These are the words of a real honest, loving man.
I agree, such stories are one in a million. Stories like bright comets in a dark sky. They make you dream and hope.

How to get married
Psychologist Mikhail Labkovsky claims that in order to get married, you need to stop wanting to get married.
Ancient human wisdom is visible here. A woman paranoidly longing for marriage is unattractive as a person, as she is limited by her narrow matrimonial interest. She obsequiously looks at any man in the hope that he will become a groom. She agrees in advance to any compromises in order to be called a wife. She is weak and dull in spirit.
This is where you need to turn off your basic instinct, as Labkovsky urges. Forget marriage as the goal of your whole life. And take care of yourself. Work on yourself in every sense of the word. Live life to the fullest despite your celibate status.
This heals and enriches the psychological background of a woman. She transforms externally and internally, becomes more attractive to the opposite sex. Why?
She's not looking. Men feel it. They are relaxed and open, just like a woman.
Therefore, anything can happen to them. Both love and marriage.

Men want to get married too!
At a certain stage in life, most men are ready to start a family. I have a lot of thirty-year-old decent guys who dream of getting married. They want to get married, have children. They are remarkably conservative on this point.
They will never ask with a laugh: "Why do girls want to get married?"
Because they know the answer. And they agree with him.

Inna Frank, personallife.ru

The trend that came to us from the Western countries of self-sufficient and independent women who do not enter into official relations has not spread much in our country. In the life of every woman, there still comes a period when thoughts of starting a family begin to visit her.

Why women want to get married so badly

• Informed marriages. Often there are situations when people who love each other live together for more than a year, but are in no hurry to legalize their relationship. After some time, the woman and the man jointly decide to marry. In this case, they do it not on emotions, but deliberately, starting from considerations of the mind.
• Strengthening relationships. Very often, women go to great lengths in order to keep a loved one. They see marriage as an opportunity to improve their relationship with a man and keep him close to them.
• Maybe it's still worth a try? Basically in all cases, if there is such an approach to creating a family, the relationship does not last long and ends. Because people are not yet ripe to understand finally what they need.
• Get married to keep up with your girlfriends. Very often there are cases when a woman strives to get married for the reason that all her friends are already married. They do not consider themselves strangers and therefore are also in a hurry to start a family. But there is no need to reason like that, only natures who do not have self-confidence are inclined to such reasoning. They are not interested in the question of who exactly will become their spouse, the most important thing is not to lag behind their girlfriends in any way.
• Marriages of convenience. In this case, everything is very simple - a woman does not feel any love, and, very often, she does not even understand what family life is, she is not ready for everyday problems, but because of material gain, she wants to take such a step and that's it. to start a family. Marriages of convenience are considered one of the most persistent. Yes, people who enter this marriage pursue only their own interests. But besides, they consciously understand what they are doing. Therefore, there is usually no disappointment in such a marriage.
• When marriage is the next plan in life. Many girls, finishing their studies at the Institute, clearly know that they need to get married. They clearly know in advance exactly how their husband should look, and what character traits he should have. Thus, girls get married who follow clear outlined plans in life.
• Child. Basically, all women want to have children, being legally married to a man. In this case, women tend to get married as soon as possible due to the fact that they are overcome by the desire to have a child and take care of him, while feeling the support in the form of a husband.
• It's time to start a family. A girl comes to a time in her life when she realizes that it is time for her to get married. This understanding can come for everyone in different ways, for some at the age of thirty, and for some immediately after leaving school. Age in this case does not matter. Girls who reason this way are guided by free choice.
• Reliability and stability. If a woman legally marries a man, then she begins to feel more confident. She has a certain sense of security, she can get rid of at least a small part of some of the problems in everyday life, from material burden. Material wealth plays an important role in women's striving to get married. But much in this case depends on how the woman was brought up, as well as on her character. Some women seek to get married in order to have the support of a man, in order to lean on his man's shoulder in difficult times, and some just want to crawl out on their lover's neck and sit there.

So why is there a need for marriage? Instinctively, even at the genetic level, a person has the goal of extending a kind through creating a family. It was so many thousands of years ago, and it is the same to this day. Also, since ancient times, it has always been the case that marriage was much more important for the female than for the male. When a woman became married, her position in society increased.

Recently, civil marriages have become popular, they are replacing official relations. A lot of couples, in order to check their relationship, decide first to live together, evaluate their feelings, check whether they are sincere or not, how daily life will reflect on the relationship. After all, everyone can just meet and enjoy going to the park, to the cinema, to restaurants, but building a life can scold many. Therefore, before formalizing their relationship officially, in the registry office, many couples first live in a civil marriage.

But there are times when a civil marriage drags on for a long period and the couple no longer considers it necessary to formalize their relationship. But is this the right choice?

In young families, there are situations when the intervention of family legislation is imperative. You can help a woman who is married with the help of the law.

For a married couple, everything becomes common - sharing problems, responsibilities, everyday life, mutual responsibility. A family is a small world with kindred spirits.

"The idea that all women want to get married has long held the status of an axiom. Neither the sexual revolution, nor the fashion for hippies with their free love, nor the rapid development of strip clubs for women, nor even being in the top of Oprah's" most influential people " Winfrey and Condoleezza Rice did not change the state of affairs.

Women who suddenly become successful, wealthy and no less influential than men continue to want to get married. Even going to the aforementioned strip club, they strive to wrap up a trip to the registry office. The example of Natasha Koroleva seems to have inspired many. After all, building a career and ensuring material well-being has become much easier than “finding a man”. Moreover - so as not to drink, not smoke, and at least sometimes give flowers. “And I also want him to be handsome and strong!”, As the old song says. Isn't it Tarzan Glushko? True, the song was "smart", but these are already everyday trifles. You can also play chess with a computer. But everyone wants affection, care and love.

But why are the words "love", "care" and "marriage" practically synonymous for women, but not for men? After all, any of us to the statement of a friend or acquaintance in the spirit of "Yes, I do not want to marry yours!" he chuckles to himself: "Come on, no one takes!" Even if this friend is Ksenia Sobchak. We forgive her a lot for the fact that we can regret about ourselves: "Oh, heaps of money, but they don't take marriage ...". And no one will believe her statement that "... I am not looking for a life partner for myself and am not going to get married!" Even if she swears on the Bible. There are many reasons for this unbelief. As well as the strange at first glance desire of a woman to get the coveted stamp.

Let them talk!

The first and most common reason is public opinion. It weighs on everyone. We live in a society, and society does not care about the emotions of a particular individual. We just need to know: WHEN? When are you going to get married? When will Angelina Jolie and Brad Peet get married? Do not want? Can not be! This is not normal! Especially not normal that Angelina herself does not want. And what is abnormal for Angelina is doubly abnormal for mere mortal girls from twenty to fifty. I especially realized this after the appearance of the site "classmates". The first question asked by the girls who saw each other for the last time on the last call: "Well, are you married?" Observing the communication of men on the same site, I can say that their question of marriage is inferior to other important issues. For example, about the brand of the car, the field of activity and even this - “Did you watch football yesterday? That was a match! "

We are used to the fact that the norm is the majority. And if five friends are married, then the sixth, who has lagged behind the company and continues a bachelor life, will be outside the norm. They will pity her, condemn her, acquaint her with her husband's friends, talk about the delights of married life and hint that time is running out ... That is, pressure in all ways. And even if there is no desire to get married, it will certainly appear. It can simply manifest itself in different ways. Someone acquires a new kind of inferiority complex, someone has an obsession with "getting married at any cost" - if only for everyone to fall behind. After all, getting a divorce in our secular state is just not a problem. And someone begins to behave aggressively and in every possible way to provoke married friends, and together with them the whole society, trying to prove that loneliness is freedom! And marriage is a relic of the past and everyday life.

And parents? They pretend to be touched, squeezing other people's kids and lamenting: "Will they manage to nurse their grandchildren?" Do not be offended by them. After all, they actually firmly believe that happiness is possible only in marriage. Yes, and Aunt Lyusya from Samara is uncomfortable to write that her daughter is still not married.

The minimum life program for girls, in which marriage is an obligatory, almost final point, is formed in childhood. Any fairy tale where the main character is a girl ends with a magnificent wedding. Everyone, the prince at the altar, the sisters and stepmothers are crying, finita la comedy! The heroes of "men's" fairy tales often get wives for themselves in passing - they went for rejuvenating apples for the priest, and returned, taking untold riches, on a gray wolf and with a princess at the ready. However, modern romantic films "for girls" are no better. Men rarely watch them, but with tears of emotion we follow the experiences of four lonely heroines in a big city, making bets - when Carrie Bradshaw will get married. And for whom. It's only in the title of sex, but we know that the movie is about love! Even the X-Files would have ended with Scully and Mulder getting married. Let it be surrounded by aliens and schizophrenics, but a wedding!

All these factors are nothing more than pressure. And it is very difficult to resist him. Sometimes in all this polyphony of relatives, girlfriends, media, statuses on social networks, it is very difficult to hear yourself and understand what you want yourself.

Behind a stone wall

Another reason for a woman's desire to get married has "deep historical roots." It is a desire for stability for yourself and your offspring. After all, earlier it was possible to receive protection, social and material, only from a man. At first, the girl was taken care of by her father, then her husband took care of her. It is not for nothing that in many nations, in the event of the death of a husband, the wife had to become the wife of his brother. Since it was almost impossible for a woman and her children to survive without the support of a man.

The world has changed, but the desire to get married remains. And self-interest has nothing to do with it. After all, we are not considering the option when they marry “money”, and not a specific man. A marriage of convenience is a completely different topic. It's about something completely different. And an example of this is the following story. My school friend Renata is a big boss in the banking sector. She bought herself a car, then an apartment, in her free time she is engaged in diving on some beautiful islands, but each of her messages on Skype begins with the fact that "everything is fine, but there is still no man." And when Alexei appeared, who works as a history teacher in some technical school, Renata soared! And when he proposed to her, Renata immediately agreed. Young, beautiful, independent, she was happy as if she had won the biggest prize in her life. “Yes, marriage is stability! - she seriously explained to me. - Let him earn less than me, but the children must have a father! Even if I cannot or do not want to work, the children will have a father who will raise them and put them on their feet. " Of course, Renata continues to work, but marriage gave her the tranquility necessary for inner peace of mind. There is a husband, which means that all problems will be solved. After all, it is much easier for two to do this than one. And the difference in income does not play any role here. Alexey is really the main one in their family, he is responsible for the strategy of their family's life, he makes all the important decisions, he is responsible for their common future. After all, many men, having much higher incomes, do not want to get married precisely because of their unwillingness to take responsibility.

Hands off!

But Anna believes that marriage for a woman is important for a completely different reason. “You see, it is important for us women to show that 'this man is mine!' And for this there is no better way than marriage. Men have a different psychology. For them, a married woman is just a married woman. She never ceases to be desirable in their eyes. They don't care who they conquer - married, single or divorced. After all, initially the goal of their conquest was one night or even several hours spent alone with this woman. And then how it goes. Women, on the other hand, want to get the man in full possession, so the “married” option is strategically unattractive for most rivals. ” This is for sure, especially if you remember what we talked about above.

Both men and women are owners to the same extent. But in a male environment, it is enough to look around rivals with a stern look or put a hand on a companion's shoulder (knee, waist, etc.) in time for all other males to understand: “She is mine. And everyone who encroaches on it will deal with me. " This technique does not work with women. Rivals lose interest in a man only if they see a ring on their finger. Or a stamp in the passport. And for the rest, you can twist around a man with all the limbs, rivals, at best, will wait.

The fact that Vadim lived with Katya in a civil marriage for the past three years did not prevent their mutual friend Marina from making every effort to seduce him. The seduction succeeded. After that Katya put Vadim's things out the door, and he sincerely asked to come back. After succumbing to Marina's seduction, he was not at all going to live with her. And, as it turned out, he was not even going to sleep again. Marina fell into depression, because so much energy was spent not for the sake of one single night. And not for the sake of spoiling Katya, Marina had nothing against her personally. She just fought so hard for her female happiness. And in response to the accusations that fell on her, she shouted: “Yes, she seduced! He's not her husband! " And she considered it an exhaustive argument. The absence of a stamp in the passport is often interpreted as a man's lack of confidence in his desire to live with a woman all his life. Therefore, there will always be those willing to take advantage of this uncertainty and test the strength of the relationship.

"And I want to get married just because I'm bored!" - said Lera when she found out the topic of my new article.

In general, whatever the reasons for wanting to get married, the main thing is not to forget that novelty can be brought to life in another way. And marriage itself is not synonymous with happiness. This is a big responsibility that you need to be prepared for. Getting married to the delight of relatives or to spite friends is not the best option! And when it seems to you that the pressure from outside is too great, think of Prince Charles. And be glad that you are not a member of the royal family. "