How often do women cheat. What does a woman feel after her infidelity? Causes and consequences. How to recognize if your wife is cheating at work

Female adultery is a rather complicated phenomenon. First, from a social point of view. Society treats female infidelity extremely negatively. Secondly, in terms of family life. Men rarely forgive their wives for infidelity, therefore, as a result of female infidelity, families often break up. At the same time, rarely does anyone wonder why wives cheat on their husbands, what is the reason for this situation. Often men themselves bring a woman to treason with their behavior.

The nature of female infidelity

Many men do not consider sex on the side cheating. For them, love and sex are separate things. A man can love his wife very much, but at the same time, periodically have connections on the side with women that he likes.

For women, it's much more difficult. For them, love and sex are not separated. If a woman decides to have sexual relations, in most cases, this means that she has feelings for her partner, a certain attraction. Therefore, the reason for adultery for a married woman must be very weighty and serious. She clearly imagines the consequences of this step, prepares for it for a long time, and if she decides, then she has already weighed the pros and cons, and is ready to take responsibility for her act.

In other words, we can say that a woman decides to cheat as a result of despair. If she stops believing that she can be happy with her husband, then she may decide to have an affair on the side. Often, betrayal, the emergence of a new man in life, seems to be the only way for a woman to feel happy again, to find the meaning of her life. After infidelity, a woman rarely can return to her family. Since sex without feelings is impossible for her, she stops loving her husband and a new man becomes the main thing for her, so she rarely returns to her family.

insufficient attention

The most common reason why women cheat is lack of attention. Often, over time, relations between spouses become colder. Husband and wife do not experience the same feelings for each other, communication becomes less intense, there is a distance.

If a man does not show due attention to his wife, she begins to feel as if she has been abandoned, to think that no one needs her, does not have her former attractiveness. Such thoughts instinctively push a woman to try to prove the opposite, she is looking for attention from other men, which can lead to treason.

Some women are to blame for this situation. After they get married, they begin to take care of themselves less, become nondescript. Of course, in such a situation, a man begins to pay attention to more attractive girls, and when a woman discovers that they are no longer paying attention to her, it is often too late - her husband already has another. Then the wife begins to take revenge, attracts men to herself, and as a result, the family is destroyed - both spouses begin to cheat on each other.

Another common cause is the absence of a husband at home. If a man is always busy at work, provides everyone with his beloved wife, she can still feel lonely, and if at such a moment she finds a person who will provide attention to a woman and show care, it is likely that the situation will end in betrayal.

Cheating for revenge

It's no secret that many men cheat on their wives. There is not always a feeling behind this, often just a desire to win another woman, male egoism. When the wife finds out about the facts of infidelity, she, of course, is overwhelmed by emotions. Under their influence, she can even commit rash acts - for example, cheat on her husband, even with the first person she meets.

Such a development of events will have an extremely negative impact on family relationships. First, you need to remember about the difference in adultery between men and women. For a man, cheating is not connected with feelings, but for women, as a rule, yes. Therefore, men very rarely can forgive their wife for infidelity, which means that if such a fact is discovered, the probability of family destruction increases significantly. In addition, such behavior of spouses is a negative example for children, so before cheating, it is better to think several times whether this action is worth future suffering. This recommendation applies to both men and women.

It should be borne in mind the fact that even if a man could forgive the betrayal of his wife, the family will not be the same. It will be unpleasant for a cheating wife to remember the very fact of infidelity out of revenge (after all, there were no feelings there, which means that such sex was unpleasant for her). She will blame her husband. As a result, there will be a constant smoldering conflict in the family, which will not lead to anything good.

Desire for new emotions and sensations

When the novel is just beginning, there are a lot of positive emotions. A man and a woman want to constantly be there, see each other for as long as possible, get to know each other better, and so on. Gradually, over time, love is replaced by habit. Spouses are already connected not by mutual feeling, but by habit or the presence of common children.

Husband and wife know each other perfectly, understand perfectly, but there are not enough emotions. In such a situation, you want to relive the feeling of euphoria, falling in love, and so on. And a woman, like a man, may well try to renew her feelings or look for new sensations, which is the reason for her wife's betrayal of her husband.

According to some scientists, the point here is elementary physiology. As the strength of feelings decreases, there is also a decrease in the production of certain hormones that make a person happy, and in order to get their portion of happiness again, many are looking for new partners with whom they think they will experience this feeling again.

Sexual dissatisfaction

As a reason for his wife's infidelity, there may be a man's inability to please her in bed. The problems with this can be different. For instance:

• Health problems. It may well turn out that under the influence of stress, a man lost his self-confidence, certain sexual disorders arose. A similar situation can be with a woman. For various reasons, she may not be able to relax, enjoy sex, which leads to a lack of orgasm and, as a result, a desire to find a new partner. Often there is such a problem as sexual incompatibility.
• living conditions. The reason for dissatisfaction can also be cramped living conditions, when it is difficult for a husband and wife to be alone, there is no time for foreplay or high-quality intimate relationships - everything needs to be done quickly.
• Psychological problems. One of the spouses may be afraid of being relaxed or going to some experiments in bed, which does not allow diversifying sensations and getting mutual pleasure.

Confidence that a man is not worthy of her

Many girls, especially if they were the only ones in the family, can consider themselves princesses. After all, in childhood they were allowed everything - the best toys, the most delicious food, a lot of attention - everything is for them. And when they get married, and it turns out that a man also demands attention, does not always take into account all the desires of a woman, they begin to change - look for someone who will be able to fulfill all their desires.

Moreover, often such women do not want to get divorced. They constantly “saw” their husband, express complaints to him, they can even humiliate and demand more and more benefits for themselves, but they categorically do not want to get divorced - for them this is a deterioration in their social position.

It is also important to know about this type of women that they do not feel guilty after betrayal. They blame their husband for having to go looking for a better man. If the husband met all the requirements (which is impossible in principle), then nothing would have happened. At the same time, they are absolutely unaware that their requirements are overstated.

The result of this is that a woman starts a relationship on the side, and a man also seeks understanding and love outside the family, therefore, the family is gradually falling apart, despite the presence of formal relationships and living together.

What do scientists think

Conducted studies on why wives cheat on their husbands suggest that women are unfaithful to their husbands, mainly if they are not happy in marriage. The probability of infidelity due to sexual dissatisfaction increases by 2.9 times compared to the standard situation (when a woman feels happy and everything is in order in the intimate life of the family).

Most often, women cheat with work colleagues, their old friends or ex-men. It is extremely rare that they can afford to cheat on a husband's friend.

In general, it must be remembered that women value their reputation and do not seek to change if everything suits them. Therefore, you should pay attention to your loved ones, pamper them sometimes, and in case of problems in a relationship, contact specialists.

The conventional wisdom says that a woman is by nature a monogamous creature; her purpose is to keep the family, give birth and raise children. However, adultery happens on the part of women. Why do women cheat?

And really - why? It would seem clear that betrayal does not contribute to the harmonization of your relationship, but will only confuse them even more, although you may receive some temporary satisfaction of your problems. So what pushes women to cheat, forcing them to go against their natural destiny to be a wife and mother?

Why do women cheat on men?

Sometimes a woman's infidelity is due to the fact that she begins to enjoy increased attention from her boss at work.

This happens quite often if the woman is young and beautiful. And it is very difficult to sacrifice a good position and a high salary, because if a woman does not accept the courtship of her boss, she will only have to quit. Such a betrayal can be called forced and, as a rule, it is very burdensome for a woman.

A completely different type of infidelity occurs when a woman is looking for a new boyfriend or lover because she cannot satisfy her craving for a luxurious life with you. She dreams of being showered with flowers and taken to Paris for a weekend, and you give her a stunted rose on weekends and the most you can offer is a trip to her grandmother's country house.

At the same time, she can really love you, but .. She likes Paris more. And there's nothing you can do about it.

Sometimes a woman cheats because she wants to take revenge on you. Perhaps you cheated on her, and she harbored a grudge. Or maybe you're just not giving her the attention she thinks she deserves. As a result, the woman changed.

· But most often women cheat because you can't or don't want to satisfy her sexually. Have you ever tried to talk to your woman about this topic? What do you even know about her sexual preferences and fantasies?

Many men would be quite surprised if they knew how much their girlfriends think about sex, where and how they would prefer to do it, and what exactly turns them on. Men do not even think about why a woman herself never approaches them with these proposals. But it is very difficult for her to cross the invisible border and open up. Some husbands don't even consider whether their wife actually had an orgasm or was just faking it.

In general, if you recognize yourself in this paragraph, it's time for you to think.

Why did a woman cheat on a man

How we are accustomed to the idea that treason is the lot of men, and a married woman does not need extraneous connections. Many psychologists confidently say that women cheat for two reasons. First, she fell in love. The second - she wants her husband to be jealous of her. It is strange that women themselves sometimes cannot clearly answer the question of why their wives cheat.

Anonymous questioning, as a rule, does not give clear, and most importantly, correct results. Following the responses from this type of survey, both married women and married men, many experts can conclude that men cheat more often. During their family life, about 7-9 novels happen. Women in their anonymous questionnaires note that during their life together with their husband, 1-3 side romances happen.

But who said that questioning, although anonymous, is a way to find out the truth? Interesting research was carried out in England, with the help of ultra-precise and sensitive equipment. They were able to reveal that every ninth child does not belong to the woman's lawful husband. As it turned out later, more than half of these random relationships took place during the period of ovulation.

In these few days, the attraction of lovely ladies reaches its climax. This is how nature intended it, probably so that the human race would not die out. And no one clarified to her that it would be advisable for the attraction to extend only to her husband. And some scientists claim that women have an "infidelity gene." And it is during the period of ovulation that it is activated. Well, it's kind of like when alcoholics claim they have a vicious alcoholism gene.

Why married women cheat

I also want to cite the results of a study by one scientist, which seemed surprising to me. About five years ago, this scientist decided to investigate whether it is true that the microflora of the genital organs of married women is much healthier than that of unmarried women. He also conducted his research on ultra-sensitive equipment, which helped him to discover, in the genitals of every fourth examined, except for the husband's spermatozoa, "foreign" spermatozoa that have a longer period.

The equipment made it possible to determine if “foreign” spermatozoa had entered a hundred days before the experiment, with great accuracy, up to 2-3 days. And again, these hits occurred during the period of ovulation. In the fourth part of the studied women, "foreign" spermatozoa, there were two or three varieties. In general, besides her husband, she came into close contact with several other men.

Unfortunately, what is very interesting to us, namely, intra-family relations of spouses, is not described in these experiments.

So what does it do? Can we, women, regardless of our relationship with our spouse, calmly “ventilate” on the side? And just because we're ovulating? Probably every woman is her own controller. And I believe that even a strong excited state can be controlled, whether it be ovulation or alcohol intoxication, if love reigns in your family.

A completely natural question: why do women cheat if a happily married woman enters into a dubious relationship on the side, and even more so, start an affair? So, not everything is going smoothly in the family.

After all, we know our abilities, right? And since we know that on the days of ovulation we, like wild ostriches, are looking for a mate, so why not sit at home and find pleasure where it should be - in a husband? If this does not happen, then something is wrong with the husband. I don't mean impotence, but an emotional connection with him. And if you have ever had sexual intercourse on the side, answer yourself, was it when the storm reigned in the house? Many patients at appointments with psychotherapists say that they have a strong desire to bend down to bed with another man when her husband hurts her badly.

Emotional wounds do not heal quickly. It is during this painful period that a woman can commit adultery, after which she will repent greatly. But the next time, when the husband allows to offend her again, he will again repeat the “turn to the left” ... A woman always strives for a family. Nature created her as the keeper of the hearth. And this instinct comes over the years to any of the fair sex. Therefore, whether it is ovulation or menstruation, she will definitely be near her husband if he loves and appreciates her.

Why do women cheat on their husbands

Over the years, sex in marriage fades. A couple, having enjoyed each other, enters into an intimate relationship with each other quite rarely. Our body, along with the mind, cools down, and lives in harmony. Of course, falling into the hands of something new, sexual potential increases, but not for long.

Also, over time, having had fun with a new individual, the body will say: this is enough, thank you. This means that it is impossible to spend your whole life in active sexuality (although there are exceptions to the rule here too). And it is normal that a couple does not make love eight times a day, as in the first year of marriage. And the fact that such a connection occurs rarely cannot be the reason for treason.

I believe that there is still no such physical or physiological indication for infidelity. All changes occur first in the head. It may be a long-forgotten insult, or it may be fresh. This is some kind of misunderstanding, or complete rejection by the spouse. It may be the betrayal of the husband, which refers to the section - resentment. Someone even thinks that if the husband has cheated, then I should cheat on him too. For everyone to be even.

But, answering evil for evil, in the equation you get - evil. I don’t know how you can forgive an unfaithful husband, but each one decides for herself. Some people forgive and some don't. And yet, going down the bar just to get revenge is a blow to itself. Still, if you really have sex, then only for pleasure, and not for revenge.

Will you then feel proud and confident? I think no. And the pain in the soul will not decrease.

Summing up, I want to say to jealous men: if you are afraid of your wife's betrayal, then love her and let her see it. After all, sometimes love lives so quietly next to us, then we don’t even notice it. And you need to show it to your soul mate more often. A beloved and loving woman does not need to look for someone. Well, there's just no need.

How to know if a woman is cheating

Yes, it happens that women cheat on their husbands. And her betrayal is much more serious than that of a man, because if a woman has already decided to change, then with a probability of 50% she will leave her husband and leave the family. But how do you know if a woman is cheating?

Psychologists believe that there are certain types of women whose betrayal is very likely. These are girls and women who, on the contrary, lacked parental attention, greatly spoiled by parental love. Women-careerists and women who are in constant search. As you can see, there are a lot of such types and far from a fact. That your wife will be an exemplary wife and mother.

Pay attention to whether she mentions the name of a man too often in conversations. Due to her emotionality, a woman cannot always restrain her emotions, and if her tongue flies off and on: Petya said or Sasha did, then you should think about it. Not the fact that the betrayal has already occurred, but such an enthusiastic attitude can be very fertile ground for her.

If your wife began to pay increased attention to her own appearance. No, it is clear that women already pay a lot of attention to her. But here we are talking about something even higher. She tries to change her hairstyle or style of clothing, constantly asks you how she looks, perhaps she begins to intensely look younger. All this suggests that she has an object for seduction, and this object, alas, is most likely not you. Most likely, while this is being done without far-reaching plans and even on a subconscious level. However, be vigilant.

Your spouse began to go away more and more often to the shops, then to a friend's birthday, or to visit a sick aunt. Traffic jams have turned into a real nightmare for your family, and buses and trams, including the metro, are experiencing a deep crisis? And all this mysteriously began to happen after meeting this mysterious Petya? It seems that your woman is cheating and you will soon have horns.

To find out, to find out that a woman is cheating, pay attention to her behavior in bed. If you notice obvious changes in him, for example, does she constantly push you away, or, on the contrary, began to show a truly delightful sexuality, which was not observed before? This probably indicates that something has changed in her sex life, and, apparently, you have absolutely nothing to do with it. Looks like it's time for you to think seriously.

There is an opinion that if the spouse has changed, then the woman will know about it last, and if the spouse has changed, then the man will never know at all. And all because the stronger sex is less observant and does not notice the nuances that the weak sees very well. According to statistics, only about 2% of unfaithful ladies admit to their missus in treason. So, there is practically no chance for husbands to be aware of the “leftist campaigns” of the spouse. There is only one way out - to increase attentiveness and closely observe the behavior of the partner.

And to find out if a wife is cheating is very simple - by changes in her behavior. Starting a connection on the side, the spouse sharply loses interest in her own family, starting with household chores and ending with a bed with a missus. The lady's thoughts are busy with new love. Cooking, washing and ironing only distract from pleasant thoughts. Therefore, taking on some business around the house, she often gets irritated or avoids work altogether. Often, household members also fall into the circle of her antipathies. Instead of communicating with them, she prefers to retire with the phone.

Although there are also such persons who subconsciously try to make amends and hide their adultery. They tend to be unnaturally affable and friendly. This sign is the second common extreme in the behavior of those who have known the taste of infidelity.

So, if you notice obvious changes in how your spouse behaves, then you should check and find out "where the legs grow from." But remember that sometimes a woman behaves this way because she just decided to add some color and romance to your life together.

The first sign of infidelity, even if indirect, is too frequent notifications on the phone (SMS). If you notice, now people communicate little via SMS. They transmit only information that is difficult to remember (address, email, etc.) or they are written when the opponent cannot speak due to circumstances (meeting, interview). The third option is that information is transmitted via SMS that cannot be spoken aloud in front of strangers (for example, communication with a lover). In all other cases, people just call each other.

Additional evidence of her betrayal will be the lack of incoming and outgoing SMS. That is, messages are simply erased after each operation. If the chosen one refers to the full memory and the so-called “cleaning” of the phone, see if such a “cleaning” happens every hour?

The same applies to short calls - they are erased immediately after the end of the conversation.

And then, if you do not understand how to recognize the betrayal of your wife, watch the location of her phone. Probably, before the chosen one left the phone anywhere, but now he is her constant companion (even takes a shower). When you ask "why?" - they will answer you that they are waiting for an important call at work. And when a call comes in in your presence, then the answers to the handset will be either strange or short: “Uh-huh”, “Yes”, “No”.

Even more strange are the delays of the spouse after work. Especially if for many years in a row her comings home were stable at the same time. And then suddenly every day there is some kind of traffic jam, quarterly reports, transport delays. If everything is mixed with a regular smell of alcohol and a disheveled look, then this is already a clear answer to the question: how to find out if a spouse is cheating. Consider that you already know.

But that's not all. Do you know how wives behave immediately after a date with another? They have two options in stock:

• An angelic look, guilty excuses and a detailed description of the events that prevented him from returning home on time (although the husband did not even ask).
• Silence and closure. The reaction to finding out where and why is very emotional and negative.

The same can be said about leaving without explanation in an unknown direction. Excessive secrecy on the part of a woman is a serious reason to think. Usually, the weaker sex willingly talks about their immediate plans for an hour. Especially when heading to a beauty salon or a store for a new dress. So, when you begin to notice that your partner is “brushing off” with common phrases: “I’ll just go”, “I’ll go shopping”, etc., don’t relax - ask for details. Suspicions disappear only if you have a birthday or other holiday soon, and your spouse decided to surprise you.

Feelings, appearance, mood - what will give out the wrong

How to define change? A good way to find out the truth is to observe how your partner behaves when it comes to showing feelings towards you. For example, she hasn’t spoken affectionate words for a long time, she didn’t look at you with a loving look, her touches have lost their sensuality and tenderness. Try to take the initiative and ask her if she loves you. The lady who is cheating may turn away, avoid answering, change the subject, or blurt out dryly: “Yes.” Perhaps in your case everything will be a little different, but you will definitely feel that the companion has become aloof.

Or the second option - after another "delay at work" the spouse is very affectionate and kind. It is especially suspicious if she stops arguing and does not show discontent even if you are guilty of something.

But there is also a third option - frequent mood swings. Yes, the weak half of humanity has never been distinguished by a stable emotional state during the day, but we are now talking about those cases when the drops become too obvious and arise for no reason at all.

You may also find that a close and once dear person turned out to be a stranger, not the same as you knew him before. Getting herself a lover, the lady becomes mysterious, mysterious, her eyes wander and absent, and her facial expression becomes dreamy. If this has been going on for more than a week, it's worth talking about.

Now about the image. You probably know that when it comes to appearance, a lady is driven by love or lack thereof. In the first case, she changes her hair, goes on a diet, goes to the gym and regularly updates her wardrobe. The second one does nothing. This feature does not always indicate adultery (maybe this is done for a beloved husband), but if it comes in combination with frequent SMS and vague excuses after a delay, then ... you know.

A little funny, but in fact a very obvious sign of adultery is a serviceable pedicure and clean-shaven legs (especially in winter). No, of course, there is a category of fashionistas who do not allow themselves to appear before their husband in an inappropriate form even after 10 years of marriage, but there are very few of them. Usually, children and household chores take all the time and effort. But the strange thing is that earlier the wife complained about the lack of time, but now she suddenly began to manage everything - even shaving her legs every day!

And one more thing: a lady who has an affair "on the side" can dramatically change interests. If earlier football was something incomprehensible to her, now she suddenly became a specialist in this field. Or, for example, she suddenly became interested in the topic of breeding crocodiles at home. Maybe because breeding crocodiles is her lover's hobby?

10 more signs of a cheating wife

Unpredictable changes in appearance and mood are not the only indicators that you are unfaithful. There are at least ten more sources from which you can get information about adultery. So:

1. Criticizes and compares with other husbands, tries to set as an example other members of the stronger sex. Although previously this "fad" was completely absent.
2. Unwillingness to be near her husband, to plan a joint weekend. Interest in the working affairs of the faithful has evaporated, and the partner herself reluctantly talks about herself.
3. I stopped not only arguing, but also asking for something, became indifferent. Indifference even applies to such things as standing up for your point of view and a leaky faucet in the kitchen.
4. When a lady cheats, she often visits relatives and friends. Naturally - ostensibly to visit and, of course, only to those whom she trusts and knows that she will be covered. Your offer to meet her in the evening from the guests is regularly rejected.
5. Misses calls. Often, the phone of the missus is buggy, discharged, or generally left at home.
6. How to convict a wife of treason will tell her ... a close friend. Indirectly. For example, lately, a girlfriend constantly needs help: either to feed the cat, or to help hang wallpaper, or just haven’t seen each other for a long time. And the wife, of course, does not refuse. Here, declassifying infidelity is quite simple - next time follow your companion. Perhaps then more evidence will not be required.
7. All sorts of courses, trainings and business trips have become the norm. And picking up the phone is usually not possible.
8. Avoids looking. If suddenly meets eyes, does not know how to behave, therefore he immediately turns away or goes out.
9. Any physical contact is torture. When a companion expresses dissatisfaction with the coldness of the missus, she invites him to have a mistress.
10. Complaints about the lack of communication, accusations of indifference. But when you try to build a relationship, you stumble upon an impenetrable wall. Or you are cruelly ridiculed.

Sex and physiology of a traitor

What are the signs of a cheating wife? One of the most important indicators of adultery is sex. This is where change happens anyway. You can understand that you are wrong, based on the following observations.

The partner tries to avoid sexual contact by any means. You find that your companion is in a hurry to go to bed early in order to fall asleep faster, without waiting for you. Or vice versa - finds very important chores around the house and finishes them already when you sleep. Such antics can go on for a very long time. But when you finally succeed in getting intimate in bed, you may be in for some surprises.

1. The man is faced with coldness and indifference. No passion, no affection, no hugs with kisses. It seems that the missus simply endures and waits for the act to end. There can be no talk of pleasure.
2. Suddenly she wanted variety. The partner behaves uninhibitedly or demandingly, she has new intimate tricks. The psychology of such behavior lies in the woman's attempt to raise her self-esteem, to make sure that she is still desirable.

And how to detect that a lady is cheating by observing her physiology? Very simple. After all, the body sometimes tells more than the look. So:

1. Another smell. This includes not only the smell of men's toilet water, but also the smell of the body after a shower. By the way, some representatives of the stronger sex determine by smell whether their beloved had sex with another.
2. Irritation on the face. The skin of your beloved will also help to make sure of infidelity. Usually, after passionate dates, redness from male stubble remains on the skin in the area of ​​​​the cheeks and chin. Take a closer look.
3. Bruises that can't remember where they came from. Bruises remain anywhere, but the main thing is that the beloved is not able to clearly explain their origin.

A hint can be not only the body and the strange behavior of the wife after the betrayal, but also her ... underwear. And the point is not at all in any traces of love pleasures left on the linen, but in how often she buys it lately. If the purchase occurs at least once a week, and the underwear is distinguished by its piquancy, then most likely the partner wants to surprise her lover, but not you.

And finally, I would like to say the following: even if all of the listed main signs that the wife is cheating on her husband and the secondary signs in your family are “obvious”, do not rush to panic, fall into a stupor or attack your beloved with accusations.

First of all, you need to look deep into yourself. If this happened, then the companion had reason to do so? The problem is probably with both of you. No wonder there is an opinion that the husband himself pushes his wife into the arms of a lover. Because at one time she was rejected, and her requests went unheeded. And if a beautiful person does not have enough attention in the family, then she will definitely get her “on the side”.

Also, many couples face adultery during a difficult period of their married life (for example, a crisis). Think if this is your case?

And finally, if the observations have confirmed your guesses, do not be tormented, do not lock yourself up, it is better to share your doubts with your soulmate and try to bring her to a frank conversation. Your marriage can still be saved.

I think you, like most women, at least once thought about another man. Perhaps the thoughts were quite harmless, such as "how he kisses", "he has such beautiful hands" or "I would so like him to hug me." But there is only one "but" - you have a husband. Why and where do dreams about another man come from and where do they lead, let's talk today.

Why do we change

According to statistics, every fifth woman has cheated or continues to cheat on her beloved. It turns out that every fifth husband is a cuckold. I will not claim that the representatives of the stronger sex are saints and faithful. They are more likely to agree to fast sex in order to increase self-esteem, subconsciously take revenge on their wife, or, as some of them say, "... live a hectic life so that there is something to remember in old age."

Women are harder to change. She perceives sex as the beginning of a relationship, hooking on the hook of falling in love with a new partner. Some feel remorse for their act, others perceive the situation absolutely calmly, others do not even try to justify themselves to their husband. Here is what those who found themselves in a similar situation say.

“... The first marriage broke up precisely because thoughts about another man appeared. First they, then indecent thoughts, and then I decided to turn all my thoughts and dreams into reality ... As a result, I divorced my husband and married my "thoughts and dreams" ... "
Natalia, 30 years old

If you understand the reasons for the betrayal, then here, first of all, both partners are to blame. Or the husband did not pay enough attention, offended his beloved, did not provide her with support and understanding in time. Or a woman was constantly dissatisfied with her husband, consulted with her friends and mother about building relationships, or decided that her family life did not work out, putting an end to her.

The British Institute of Family and Marriage conducted a study according to which 70% of men are ready to forgive their beloved after infidelity and continue to live with her. They give unfaithful wives a chance to prove that they have reformed, regretted and repented of their deeds. Imagine, every seventh man sincerely believes that his wife will no longer repeat past mistakes!

But today we will talk about what is the beginning of treason. Yes, yes, every betrayal goes through several stages - dissatisfaction, dreams, fantasies, obsessive desire, physical intimacy, consequences. The last stage can be ambiguous, since some cheaters feel remorse and regret, others leave the family for a lover. But, according to psychologists, dreams can be considered the most dangerous stage.

“... I have such a problem: if I meet a handsome man (at work or mutual acquaintances), then I begin to have sexual fantasies about him.
With a guy in a relationship, everything is fine with us, although sex is not so often. I don’t want to change in reality, but in fantasies ... This makes me feel disgusting.
What is wrong with me?? Or are there still problems in the relationship?
Rocky, 24

Earlier we already wrote about why excessive daydreaming is dangerous for people, and especially women. It would seem that innocent dreams are just a stream of thoughts, where we allow ourselves something that is not available in reality. But fantasy begins with a dream. The woman completely relaxes, closes her eyes and imagines her ideal.

Fell in love with a stranger

Like would and husband there is, and children. Comfort and order reign in the house, the cat purrs contentedly on the couch. You can talk with your husband, he helps with the housework, he is never greedy, he admires you. Yes, and in bed everything satisfies you - you have already got used to it, you know how to make each other nice. But then you got a new job and saw Him on the first working day. This could be your boss, colleague, customer, or client. Something about him hooked you. Your thoughts constantly return to this person, you imagine how you will walk with him in the park, holding hands, kissing, having stunning sex near the fireplace.

Prepare food - think about it. The husband is watching football and accidentally douses himself with beer, and you mentally imagine what He would do in a similar situation. And somewhere from the depths of the subconscious comes the realization that He would never do that. Accordingly, the husband significantly loses to Him.

This is one example of how women are attracted to other men. A mental comparison of a husband and an ideal often contributes to disappointment in the person with whom years have been lived.

The reason for this is that your relationship is stable. You have studied your beloved so much, got used to him, that it seems to you that he has already read a book for you. Your He is unfamiliar, beautiful, well-groomed. He smells of your favorite perfume, he drives a cool car, and your right husband, an ordinary teacher in an old coat, walks.

Fantasies overshadow your consciousness and you do not think about how He behaves at home. Maybe He is a miserly, always dissatisfied, selfish person. Maybe He has problems with potency. Maybe He is overly pedantic or, on the contrary, a terrible slob. Or he is still being raised by his mother. You know nothing about Him, but already you allow Him to do with you whatever He pleases. So far, only in your dreams.

Allowed the husband to slaughter the goat

Thoughts of betrayal are also often visited by those women who have ever suppressed their husband's desire to be successful. I understand that you are now indignant: “How, I always wanted him to earn well, provide for me! He did not want / could not / did not dare. Have you ever thought about why some men are constantly on the move and provide for the family at the highest level, while others slaughter the goat with the old men?

It depends on the woman what her man will do. If, for example, a loved one decided to leave for a month - another to earn money in order to feed his family, it is better to let him go. Give your husband maximum support, call each day, thank him for such a bold decision. He will feel that you need him and will do everything to make you proud of him.

But what do women do in such a situation? “No, dear, it’s better to work in our city, there is stability, you are at hand. Why should you go? You want to change or quit drinking. No, it’s better at home, although we will live on a penny, but I will control you. And now a woman's fear, lack of confidence in herself and her husband, stopped him several times. Does he want to go somewhere now?

So it turns out that against the background of your Him, your husband seems weaker, lower, worse. A husband cannot be compared with Him, because He has everything that you dreamed of. This is not about change. The problem is dissatisfaction with your beloved man at the moment.

It seemed that sex with another would be better

As a rule, when a woman thinks about sex with another man, she is not able to reasonably assess the situation and the risks. There is never a guarantee that a potential lover will be better than your husband. Appearance, a couple of abandoned phrases, a languid look and sweet promises in no way guarantee an orgasm. Think again. Do you need a similar experience?

If the problem is dissatisfaction with the sex life in the family, talk to your husband. We have written many times about ways to bring the spark back into an intimate relationship. There is always a chance to become a contented, happy woman and a skilled lover again.

When there is a chance to build a relationship with the closest man, use it. Of course, if your attempts are in vain, you do not see the return from your husband and the desire to become better, your betrayal will only be a matter of time.

Tired of being alone

Even married women who see their husband every day often feel lonely and depressed. My husband seems to be around. Here he is, sitting at the table, talking to you about work, asking you to put him more chops. But you look at him and you feel tired.

Loneliness in such cases suggests that you do not talk to your husband about what is really important. About love, stars, a romantic trip, about the fact that Lerka bought the same boots as yours and came to work in them. The fact that your mother is sick, today you stood in a long line and some aunt got rude to you. That you are sad, but you do not know the reason. Such conversations are important for women. They want to talk, discuss something that seems important to them.

As a result, they want to hear from their husband that everything is fine, everything will work out. They will buy you new boots or don’t wear these to work yet. That your aunt was rude because she envied you, and in order not to be sad, you will now watch your favorite melodrama together. The husband will hug you, kiss you, and will calmly listen to your lamentations.

This is the ideal relationship. In practice, women discuss their problems with friends, relatives, colleagues. They come home, start a conversation with her husband, and he brushes off "Not now, then, don't worry, this is not a serious problem." This is where loneliness comes in.

Cheating husband or not

If you have begun to dream about another man, re-read this article. In case your “symptoms” differ from those listed, think about what caused the desire. What qualities attracted you in a friend, why is he better than a husband? Is it possible to change your relationship with your husband for the better?

When there are chances to improve relations, with your husband, in general, you are satisfied, and you punish yourself even for thinking about cheating, work on your family. Do everything so that after some time thoughts about another person seem ridiculous and childish to you. Otherwise, dreams of sex with another are the first step towards physical intimacy. Who knows, perhaps this will be the first step towards starting a new and happy relationship.

Registering their relationship, the happy bride and groom swear to each other in eternal love and fidelity. Probably, in an ideal world, all spouses would live a long and happy life without cheating and betrayal, but in reality, many have to put up with the fact that a husband or wife goes “to the left”.

Male infidelity is no longer considered something unusual, society often justifies them, although, of course, few will be able to live with such a husband. Women's betrayal, we have long been perceived as something out of the ordinary.

However, times are changing, and the number of women who have cheated on their husbands is increasing. According to the statistics of family psychologists, about half of all women cheat on their husbands, while according to official statistics, only about 25% of the representatives of the beautiful half of humanity admit to being unfaithful to their spouses. Why do wives cheat?

Psychology and nature of female infidelity

Despite the fact that both husbands and wives cheat, the reasons that push them to this reckless act are completely different. Let's analyze and figure out how male infidelity differs from female infidelity.

Psychology of infidelity on the part of a woman

Why do men cheat? Psychologists, especially those who support the teachings of Z. Freud, believe that the strong half of humanity cannot exist without adultery, as they obey the call of nature and try to impregnate as many individuals of the opposite sex as possible.

Women don't have that need. For her, the main thing is to choose the best father for her child in order to give birth to healthy offspring. Therefore, a girl rarely seeks to increase the number of men, but it is important for her that her chosen one be the best.

This is the crux of the problem. A girl can fall in love, and her chosen one seems to her the embodiment of masculinity. She invents a hero for herself, in which all the best qualities of a man are embodied: strength, activity, reliability, passion, and so on. But then she realizes she was wrong.

There are no ideal people. However, she strives to find one, and it does not matter that others consider her husband the best. It is not easy to please a woman. If the family does not have enough money, she dreams of a wealthy person. The one who bathes in luxury complains that her husband pays little attention to her.

And so it always is: the one who is close seems boring and not what he should be, and the one who is not with her is the best. After some time, she finds herself in the same bed with him. Most likely, a new disappointment awaits her, but for some time she believes that she has met the love of her life.

But there may be other reasons for change. We'll talk about this later.

The main differences between male and female infidelity

We figured out how male infidelity differs from female infidelity, but in order to summarize, we will write down the main differences point by point:

1. Love. To cheat on a wife, a husband does not have to fall in love with a new partner. Women only cheat on men if they have feelings for their lover. There must be at least sympathy.
2. Partner choice. A man is ready to seduce any girl if she seems attractive to him. The girls will look closely at the partner. First, they must make sure that it really suits them.
3. Development of a relationship. If a husband finds a mistress, he does not think about divorce. In the case of a wife's infidelity, everything is much more serious. He believes that someday he will be together with his lover, and can easily leave his family.

The most common causes of female infidelity

We figured out what is the nature of female infidelity, its psychology. However, many girls do not live, obeying only instincts. Nevertheless, a person knows how to control his behavior, especially if he received the right upbringing.

Why does a woman go for treason? Why is she ready to forget her moral principles and then suffer from remorse?

Psychologists identify many reasons that can push for treason:

1. Revenge. The husband cheated, and the wife decided to take revenge on him in a similar way. Or she is already tired of arguing with her husband, she does not like how he behaves with her, so she decided on such revenge.
2. Disappointment. The girl is used to the fact that her chosen one paid her a lot of attention. He tried to win her over, so he was caring, gentle, and after he achieved what he wanted, he stopped noticing her.
3. Incompatibility in bed. Spouses may have different temperaments. If the wife is passionate, loving, and her husband does not need frequent sex, she may think about going “to the left”.
4. Want to be desired. Every girl would like to remain the most beloved and desired. If she is not appreciated in marriage, she will find someone who will admire her.
5. Craving for new sensations. Often, living together destroys feelings. The wife managed to study her husband, she knows all his habits. And she wants something new in life, something that will make her days unforgettable. She needs new emotions, and in marriage she cannot get them.

1. Hasty marriage. The girl got married early. And now she needs to cook for her husband, take care of the household, children, and her friends at this time run on dates. And she also wants the same carefree life.
2. The desire to get the "forbidden fruit". The girl could have her own moral principles, but a person changes, reconsiders his views on life. And she can already afford cheating, as this is the taboo that she would like to break.
3. She wants to be modern. If all her friends, acquaintances run "to the left", she reads articles, watches programs that do not condemn such behavior, the wife is cheating on her husband, because she does not want to be a "black sheep" among her entourage.

We have listed some of the reasons for female infidelity, but this, of course, is not all. There are a lot of them. And each family has its own story, each girl has her own motives, it would be difficult to sort it all out, since it is impossible to subordinate feelings to some kind of strict logic.

How to prevent adultery on the part of a woman?

If a woman finds herself another man, it will be difficult to correct the situation. She will not want to stay with her husband if her relationship has become serious on her side. And not every man is able to accept a wife who has been in the arms of another.

Therefore, you should not go to extremes, it is better to work on relationships in marriage, to prevent adultery, since an attempt to return to your old life may be unsuccessful. These tips are simple, they may seem banal to some, but it’s not in vain that they say that everything ingenious is simple.

1. Don't forget to make time for your wife. Yes, after work I want to spend time at the computer or TV. You can have a thousand things to do and hobbies, but put aside some of them and spend time with your spouse.
2. Become the closest person to her. If the spouse can talk with you about everything that worries her, share her experiences, feelings, she will not have the desire to look for someone on the side. Here, respect for a woman, for her interests, is also important, otherwise she will find someone else who will understand her or pretend that she understands.
3. Let off steam. This advice may seem strange, since for many it is a family without quarrels and scandals that seems ideal. But psychologists warn that then there is a high probability that the spouses are indifferent to each other. Therefore, there must be conflicts, pronounce grievances. Then they won't destroy your relationship.

1. Discuss your intimate life. If you live together, then you no longer have secrets from each other, so you can easily talk about your intimate life. Ask your wife if everything suits her.
2. Don't forget about mutual respect. Try to respect her feelings, don't do what she doesn't like. But ask her to make concessions to you and listen to your opinion.
3. Fight routine. If you have been living together for a long time, there is a desire to let everything take its course, and live the way you have to. But still, it is sometimes worth arranging pleasant surprises, organizing events for the family to make your life more interesting.
4. Don't be jealous. If a woman constantly hears her husband accusing her of cheating, although there is no reason for this, then sooner or later she will cheat on him. She will decide that it is pointless to prove something to you and it is easier to behave the way you expect from her.

Remember that for a woman, cheating on her spouse is not just a fun adventure, but most often a serious stressful situation. A woman does not change immediately, usually she decides to take this step not under the influence of suddenly surging feelings or desires, but after long experiences and unrest.

Therefore, if you understand the relationship in time, make her remember the feelings that she had for you, you can prevent betrayal and all its negative consequences.

What to do if the wife cheated?

What to do if there was still a betrayal, to forgive or not your spouse? It is difficult to answer this question, it all depends on the specific situation, on the relationship in marriage. Perhaps this betrayal, although painful for both spouses, will be a turning point in their lives.

If you no longer have a relationship, feelings have disappeared, then parting may be the best way out. But, even if you have made such a decision, it is still worth it to forgive a woman in order to free yourself from resentment and hatred, let go of this relationship and move on.

According to statistics, about 40% of men are ready to forgive infidelity (for women, this percentage is higher - 70%). But for those who decide to keep the relationship, it is important to understand that they will not be the same as before. You will have to build them again so that the situation does not happen again.

And, if you have already decided to be in a place again, forget about what happened to you, never reproach your spouse, do not blame her, otherwise all your attempts to build new trusting relationships will be unsuccessful.

Video: causes and signs of female infidelity and can it be forgiven?