Love from the point of view of psychology. What does it mean to truly love a person? And here are the stunning lines of Yulia Drunina

Every person is unique. This statement concerns not only the genetic code, but also emotionality, sensuality. We see the world and we form our own attitude towards him due to the peculiarities of character, upbringing, instilled from childhood concepts of good and evil. Each of us has our own experience of personal relationships, communication, therefore, explanations in our own words of what love is can be radically different. Someone is sincerely convinced that this feeling is a divine gift, but for someone it is nothing more than an empty play of hormones.

So what is this feeling - love? Passion, affection, trust, physical intimacy, or both? Alas, out of thousands of previous generations, no such person has yet been found who could provide an explanation that suits everyone. Psychologists, physiologists, philosophers, writers and poets thought about love relationships, but each work expresses only one aspect of this multifaceted feeling.

Love is perhaps the only concept that is difficult to explain in words. If we ask a hundred people to give their own short interpretation, we get a hundred completely different answers: from sublime epithets to vulgar statements.

The age component is clearly visible in the statements of ordinary people. Young people are primarily focused on sensuality and physical intimacy (“Love is when butterflies are in the stomach”), the older generation - on emotional stability and mutual respect (“To love is not to look at each other. To love is to look together in the same direction »), People of mature age value care and affection most of all.

Love lyrics in poetry

Every person dreams of hearing the words "I love you", regardless of age, worldview, social status. And expressing your feelings in words is a real art.

Love lyrics occupy a leading place in the work of Russian and foreign poets who tried to solve the eternal mystery of the versatility of love. Happiness if it brings joy, but it often makes you suffer. Poetic natures are characterized by a refined perception of the human soul. Through words written on paper, they strive to tell the world about their feelings, creating amazingly beautiful, reverent and sublime poems.

Suffice it to recall Konstantin Simonov"The premonition of love is worse." In four quatrains, the poet managed to emotionally describe the confusion of a person who is not yet fully aware that he is in love:

"The premonition of love is worse
Of love itself. Love is like a fight
Eye to eye you got along with her.
There is nothing to wait, she is with you. "

And here are the stunning lines of Yulia Drunina:

“But unhappy love doesn’t exist,
Even if she kills.
The one who does not learn this,
That happy love is not worth it. "

Love lyrics prevail in the works of A. Pushkin (especially in the early period), N. Nekrasov, B. Pasternak, O. Mandelstam, in the poetry of I. Bunin, A. Blok. People with different fates describe in their own way both the state of love and reckless passion.

It remains only to envy those to whom the lines of the great poets were addressed. For example, Konstantin Balmont so confessed his love:

“I love you more than the Sea and the Sky and the Singing,
I love you longer than days were given to me on earth.
You alone burn me like a star in the silence of the distance ... ".

The poets of the 20th century echo the classics of the genre. There is hardly a person who will remain indifferent after reading (or listening) ballads by V. Vysotsky:

“I breathe, which means - I love!

I love, and that means - I live! ".

Interesting! It is believed that creativity is maximized when a person is in a state of love. Who knows, maybe you will go down in history after meeting your loved one?

Psychology category

The vast majority of terms in psychology are clearly defined. Love has shown its uniqueness here too - there is no single explanation. It remains to be content with several versions expressed at different times by experts of the expert level.

One of the most common definitions is based on the physical need of a person to be close to a partner of the opposite sex.

According to the second version, love is short-lived: a strong feeling flares up like a torch and dies out just as quickly.

Supporters of the third version explain love as a powerful emotional uplift that generates positive emotions comparable to a feeling of euphoria.

Psychologists specializing in relationships between men and women, there are several types of love:

• love is omnipotent. It is about her that films are made, girls dream of her. Most often it is mutual. This feeling pushes on reckless actions and even sacrifices;
• love-mania. A pure and light feeling is suppressed by obsession, while reciprocity is completely absent. The object of adoration usually ignores the manifestations of attention, which for a lover can become a real tragedy;
• love is passion. A love relationship determines the instincts with which loving friend other people are not able to cope;
• mature love. It is expressed in mutual care and trust, while physical intimacy loses its paramount importance.

The psychological understanding of love can be summarized as follows: feelings can be very different, the main thing is that the partners have the same understanding. And from time to time it is useful to turn off cold calculation and introspection - then love will open from a completely new side.

Scientifically

By using newest methods Research into looking inside the human brain has been able to explain some of the mysteries of love. So, a person in a state of love is prone to irrational behavior due to the shutdown of certain zones in the frontal cortex responsible for analytical thinking. At the same time, the activation of hormonal centers triggers a chain of chemical reactions, as a result of which substances are formed that are similar in structure and action to endorphins.

Of course, it would be too rude to explain the feelings that have arisen with the material component, but more and more often you can hear the phrase "chemistry of love" from neurologists and physiologists.

From the point of view of philosophy, love is an inexplicable yearning for each other (saying in simple words, love not for anything, but in spite of), which is based on mutual respect and the desire to be always together.

Interesting! Despite the development of scientific schools, directions and research methods, scientists have not been able to fully understand what love means as a scientific category. Apparently, the time of discoveries in this area is still ahead.

Love, habit or passion?

There is an opinion that passion is generated by the novelty of relationships and sensations, and a habit means gray everyday life and a kind of hopelessness. As numerous examples from life show, it is not the absence of passionate relationships and habits that have set the teeth on edge that put an end to love. If there was no love initially, then the sad outcome is predetermined. You should not rely on the proverb “If he endures, he will fall in love”: this folk wisdom has ruined more than one million families.

Passion usually flares up and burns out, but with true love the fire of the relationship is maintained throughout life. Yes, it's hard work, but the game is worth the candle!

The stages of love: step by step

Many have heard of love at first sight, but not everyone believes in such a development of events. And rightly so! According to research results (joint work of physiologists, sociologists, psychologists, etc.), despite the fact that love relationship everyone develops in different ways, they successively go through certain stages:

1. Love... A period of mutual charm and sympathy between a man and a woman. The duration of "candy-bouquet" and other signs of attention varies from a few days to 1-2 years.
2. Addictive... The intensity of passions reaches its climax and gradually turns into everyday life. As a rule, at this stage it is too early to talk about a thunderstorm, although distant rumbles of thunder are already audible.
3. Disgust and rejection. Repeated quarrels and mutual reproaches heat the situation to the limit. It is at this stage that spouses most often disagree and try to build new relationships. Alas, in 95% of cases new marriages are also doomed to fail.
4. Patience and acceptance. A fundamentally new stage in the development of relations. Those who were able to survive it will already answer for sure what it means to truly love. Egocentrism gradually fades into the background, giving way to mutual respect and the desire to do something for your partner.
5. Real love. A stage that only a few can reach. In the stage of maturity, it is no longer necessary to make efforts to "keep the fire": feelings over time do not weaken, but only get stronger.

Finally

Love is a wonderful feeling, the beginning of all beginnings. It can come unexpectedly and remain in the heart forever.

Love as if you are living the last day, and maybe after a while it is you who will be able to explain this beautiful, real and light feeling.

Why does love arise? ... This is an exciting feeling that makes you forget about everything ... This is an inexplicable attraction ... Is it inexplicable? Scientists claim that they have decomposed the mechanism of love on the shelves and found a physiological and psychological explanation for it.

Why does a woman have love?

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Physiological love

Falling in love comes like snow avalanche, covers the head and practically disconnects from outside world... And at this time, hundreds of chemical reactions take place in the human body. It has been proven that a person produces special odorous substances - pheromones, which are present in sweat, saliva, and tears. All this trembling knees, shaking hands, beating heart and unbridled happiness is a reaction to these substances. In the body, the level of endorphins hormones responsible for good mood, dopamine, which induces passion, and oxytocin, which programs loyalty to a partner. This is how the “inexplicable feeling” is decomposed into its component parts.

Taking antidepressants can drown out falling in love. These medicines suppress the release of natural endorphins and get rid of long dreams of a beloved.

Why does a woman have love

According to psychology, the most common cause of new feelings is boredom. A woman's body is designed in such a way that she constantly needs new sensations. When she meets the right man, she experiences the same hormonal surge, mixed with interest and excitement. A woman experiences emotions and for a while forgets about boredom. When relations are improving, a measured life sets in, a man is comfortable and calm, and a woman ... A woman is again drawn to emotions, and the only way to keep her is by common interests or regular emotional release.

Another psychological need is a sense of security. Subconsciously, a woman is looking for that person with whom she could build a family nest and have children. And if she meets a courageous, strong and self-confident man, at least outwardly, a feeling arises in her. If the applicant turns out to be suitable, love will only grow stronger.

A bit unusual psychological reason- pronounced maternal instinct. Such women strive to take care of someone, feed a delicious meal and dress warmly. Often they take their gentlemen right from under their mother's wing. Women of this type usually choose soft, weak-willed men who replace their children. True, the situation may worsen a little when real children appear, because they will require much more attention than an over-aged husband.

Love Is a collection of emotions, actions and beliefs, united by a strong sense of affection, security, warmth and respect for another person.

In addition, the concept of love can be applied to animals, abstract phenomena or religious beliefs... For example, a person might say they love their cat, freedom, or God.

The best thing that you can keep in life is each other.
Audrey Hepburn

Love has always been a popular topic of discussion that philosophers, poets, writers and scientists have raised for countless generations, and many of them have derived a different formula for love, having their own view of its definition, conditions of occurrence and forms of manifestation.

While most researchers agree that love implies a strong feeling of affection, there is much disagreement about its exact meaning, expressed in terms of different attitude to her different people.

Characteristics of love:

1. Prioritizing the well-being and happiness of the loved one over their own needs.
2. Strong sense of affection.
3. Feelings of attraction and respect.
4. Committed to helping and caring.
5. A combination of the above characteristics.

There was a lot of controversy over whether love is a free choice, or whether it can enslave despite the presence of will, whether it is constant or fleeting, love between family members and spouses is biologically programmed or imposed by society.

The concept of love can vary depending on the individual as well as the culture in question. The result of each dispute about love is closer to the truth in relation to some time or place.

For example, in some cases love can be a choice, while in others it can be an uncontrollable feeling.

Love, passion (falling in love), romantic love

Especially in the early stages of a relationship, it can be difficult to tell the difference between love and passion (falling in love).

Combined with an overwhelming desire to be closer to another person, both feelings are due to physical attraction and the intoxicating effects of hormones, but only one of them is characterized by a long existence - this is love.

Love Is something that arises between two people and develops over a long period of time, experiencing many life ups and downs along the way. Therefore, love takes time, fidelity, mutual trust and acceptance of a person as he is.

Passion is associated with sexual experiences, which initially attract people to each other and are fueled by the desire to reproduce.

Passion, eroding your consciousness by the influence of hormones and idealizing the personality of its object, dulls the ability to see a person in his true light, and therefore it is not always able to become a direct path to long-term relationships.

The ideal scenario for a strong relationship involves a balanced mix of love and passion.

Love, i.e. passion for another person, combined with a sense of affection form romantic love which is important early stage long-term relationship.

Resurrecting the original spark of passion is a practice that happy couples be sure to stick to.

Love and passion. Differences

To determine for yourself how love and passion differ, answer yourself 5 questions.

1. Does your relationship make you a better person?

Only love can make you feel that you are capable of anything, and over an extended period of time.

Passion carries with it the opposite, destructive force. It stops you through restrictions on your freedom and implicit prohibitions on self-realization.

Passion worsens the quality of life of both partners, while love gives freedom, motivates, makes the beloved better.

2. Where is your “I”?

Is your Ego at the heart of your relationship, or is your loved one central to it?

Do you prefer to give or receive?

Do you keep track of how much you have done for your partner and how much has he done for you?

If you are willing to do whatever you can for your girlfriend or boyfriend, without providing for your own benefit, from sending love messages to sacrificing your beliefs and principles, then most likely it is love.

When you are in love, the other person's happiness is more important to you than your own well-being.

Passion is self-centered, but love is completely selfless.

3. What attracts you to your partner?

Lust for another person works primarily on a physical level, making you admire your appearance, body, voice, gait, or attraction.

Love, first of all, is aimed at the partner's personality, his inner world, way of thinking, life values ​​and other inner qualities.

Physical attractiveness is of course also important, but to a much lesser extent.

Thus, passion is based on external attraction, love - on internal personal values.

4. Do you remain yourself in the relationship?

If each of you can answer “Yes,” you are definitely destined for each other.

If you can be yourself, telling your loved one about your most personal things, doing what you enjoy, and not trying to control your behavior, you can be sure that this is love.

Honesty, complete trust, understanding, closeness, mutual sympathy and romantic feelings create a stable platform for a long-term union.

When you do not need to wear masks, covering your true face; when you are not afraid that you will be misunderstood, rejected, ridiculed, condemned for who you are; when you always try to understand your partner's actions without judgment - these are all building blocks of true love, not passion.

Passion dictates the rules, and love frees you from inner bondage, it does not condemn, it comes to you for who you are.

5. Are you ready to develop together?

Love cannot stumble or break. She is able to withstand all kinds of life obstacles that arise on the joint path, finding a way out of any prevailing circumstances.

If you feel that you can be with this person at all times, regardless of whether you receive the same amount of care and warmth as you give, that is love.

Passion is temporary and fleeting, so sooner or later the relationship based on it will end.

Passion ignites and goes out, ceasing to exist. Love is steady, deep and constant.

Love is timeless.

Love and mental health

While there is no single truth about the definition of love, most people agree that love plays a critical role in both physical and mental well-being.

The benefits of love:

1. The lack of love and care that children may experience almost always has a negative impact on their future life to varying degrees.
2. The feeling of lack of love has a strong relationship with low, and can cause a state.
3. People who live a life of love are generally happier.
4. Love and a sense of emotional unity can have a direct impact on health by helping to boost immunity.

Love and physiology

From an evolutionary perspective, love can be seen as a survival tool - a mechanism we have developed to foster long-term relationships, mutual protection, and parental support.

When you realize that someone is attractive to you, love, among other things, begins to manifest itself in the form of a biological process.

Your body reinforces what your mind already knows - this person makes you fill with amazing emotions.

When we feel close to another person, our brain signals the body to release hormones such as serotonin, oxytocin, vasopressin, dopamine, and norepinephrine.

These chemicals make us drown in loving thoughts and experience the physical sensations we associate with love.

More on “love hormones”:

1. Serotonin. This hormone boosts your mood. Those who take certain illicit drugs cause huge increases in serotonin levels. Instead, they could simply find someone to love them - and more benefits and health would be added.

2. Oxytocin. Is an biological basis for love. This hormone is released during lovemaking, filling you with a sense of attachment to your beloved.

3. Vasopressin. Along with oxytocin, it is responsible for feeling close to someone.

4. Dopamine. Responsible for desire and reward, i.e. you feel great pleasure when you are rewarded with love, if it is expressed through kindness, touch, a date night, or feelings of happiness.

5. Norepinephrine. It is generated when you fall in love and feel the excitement of wanting things to work out and develop well. These physical sensations are manifested by a rapid heartbeat or damp palms.

Stages of love (relationship)

1. Falling in love

Falling in love is the most exciting stage of love, and many would agree.

When a man and a woman find each other attractive, a spark of attraction flares up between them, forcing them to drown in an ocean of romance and passion.

At this stage, you just can't stop thinking about the girl or guy, they are constantly on your mind. Right now, the meaning of the old saying “love is blind” is most clearly manifested.

This stage of "charm" brings a lot of romantic emotions, laughter, flirting and playfulness, and all negative traits partners are ignored. Much attention is paid to the similarities that you both share.

People at this stage seem to “fly”, being together, and cannot wait for the moment when they are near, if they are separated. Butterflies fly in the stomach, and quivering hearts seem to freeze.

At times like these, most people are confident that they have found their soul mate, but the underlying cause of all these rampant emotions is physiology.

"Love hormones" make you feel euphoric, bring about a cheerful mood saturated with happiness, and increase your overall energy level. It seems that you are a different person, your sexuality is at its peak, you feel that you can handle everything, you are simply fearless.

Being in this state, you, ignoring the main flaws in your partner, are able to marry before moving on to the next stage of love.

Sure, the romantic feeling in question seems great as long as it lasts, but it can't last forever, even if you really want it.

Combining with feelings of closeness and affection, falling in love transforms into romantic love.

2. Saturation (addictive)

After several months of living together, when the “chemistry of love” stops its active phase of influence, couples return to their usual “I” with a normal mood and level of attraction.

Everything returns to normal, and instead of focusing on each other, the couple becomes more active in the professional field and in other daily activities.

Young people who are ignorant of this stage of love may think that the feelings are gone. Sometimes they can get upset because of the lack of attention from the beloved.

Minor disagreements and even quarrels are a normal part of this phase. It is worth recognizing that healthy confrontation is natural because it helps both of you to better understand the situation.

As you learn to deal with problems and conflicts that arise, your relationship will mature.

At this stage of love, you may wonder why your intimate life has become a little bland, or why you sometimes see your partner annoyed.

You begin to assess your other half more objectively, and the conclusions that come to mind can cause delight or apathy.

What you need to do is move on. The best is yet to come, even if the relationship seems to be tarnishing.

3. Disgust (quarrels)

You can have a lot of expectations from your loved one. You can even try to bring your partner closer to your ideal image.

This stage of love is like a power struggle, and sometimes a relationship ends when one side dominates the other too much.

Rather than focusing on the similarities you have deftly done during the falling in love phase, you are now focusing on your partner's differences and shortcomings.

Some couples at this stage. Others, experiencing pain and dissatisfaction with relationships, come to the conclusion that true love is associated with compromises, and instead of fading in the conflicts that arise, you can find a way out through understanding, warmth and kindness.

4. Humility (understanding)

Reaching this stage of love means that you now understand your partner much better.

At this stage, couples are in a joyful state, but do not stop making efforts to work on their relationship.

Now both partners accept each other for who they really are, but you should not rest on your laurels. Avoid misunderstandings and continue to get to know each other better.

The stages of love can often be a hassle in a relationship, but once you know they exist, moving from one stage to the next won't be such a big deal for you.

To move on to the next stage, accept each other's strengths and weaknesses. You need to focus on the positive, not focus on the negative, and learn about the goals and interests of each of you.

5. Study

Once a couple goes through the aforementioned stages of love, all unrealistic expectations tend to disappear.

Each of the parties begins to open more and more to each other, and a clearer understanding arises of how they can effectively act together in a relationship.

Couples begin to define and refine their relationship roles and compatibility with each other.

It becomes necessary to resolve some issues, for example, how much time a guy and a girl like to spend together, and how long to be alone, how each side is used to expressing love and receiving it, etc.

Once couples are able to communicate their needs effectively to each other, they will be able to avoid many unpleasant things, such as aggressive behavior, avoidance, criticism, or defensiveness.

Focus instead on understanding, compassion, forgiveness, and patience.

6. Proximity

This is the stage where they experience true intimacy. They support each other even better, giving and receiving love in return.

Ups and downs are an integral part of any relationship. However, the trust and loyalty of both partners will be able to carry them through these troubles without significant obstacles.

At this stage of love, each of you will stop being obsessed with your own personality and focus on what is best for the relationship.

Now you feel unity, individuality, and love for each other. That said, the spirit of unity still prevails, further strengthening your relationship.

At this point, you feel perfect couple... Many lovers may even decide to tie their fate with family ties, since they have come this far.

7. Doubt

Usually this stage occurs after many years of marriage. You can start thinking about your ex-lovers and past relationships, or you can start comparing your current partner to previous ones.

At this stage, a lot depends on the level of satisfaction with the existing relationship. If you feel unhappy and hurt, you tend to blame your partner for it.

You can even start comparing your relationship with other couples around you.

But do not add fuel to the fire, because you are able to go through this not the most cheerful stage.

8. Sexuality

In this stage of love, your intimate life plays a key role. Changes in love preferences are possible, when one of you becomes less interested in the embodiment of wild fantasies, or, conversely, wants to arrange something incredible.

If there is a significant difference in your addictions, one of the partners may have an affair on the side.

The key to solving the main problem at this stage is to find creative ways to make your intimate life more varied and exciting, thereby strengthening your relationship.

9. Love

This is the highest stage of a relationship when both partners fully love and trust each other. However, at times, the total trust that has developed can lead you to take each other for granted, so be careful.

At this stage of love, you know each other very well, you know what to expect from each other, and you also clearly understand the direction of development of the relationship.

Despite the fact that at this stage complete bliss and understanding reigned, do not stop appreciating and respecting your partner, because love should be constantly cultivated and developed.

Remember that love is like a plant that needs nourishment to keep it alive.

34 interesting facts about love

1. Monogamy

And while humans would like to think that they are completely different from representatives of the animal kingdom, we are not the only creatures whose relationships are characterized by monogamy.

It is known that wolves, gibbons, albatrosses and even termites choose their soul mate for life.

2. Time required to assess attractiveness

The first impression is very important, especially when you consider that it takes only 4 minutes to decide whether you like a person or not.

It is not only how he looks and what he says that affects him, but also his body language, as well as the tone and speed of his voice.

3. Synchronization

If two lovers look into each other's eyes for a long time, their heartbeats are synchronized after about 3 minutes.

4. Addiction

Falling in love is similar to the effects of drugs in that similar parts of the brain are activated and similar chemical reactions are triggered.

So down with the use of prohibited substances, love and be loved instead.

5. Reduction of headaches

Oxytocin, the love hormone produced by the body during cuddling, helps reduce headaches and improves sleep.

The next time you have a headache, just pull your loved one closer to you.

6. Levels of attractiveness

People often fall in love and start relationships with someone who has a similar level of attraction.

If someone is physically more attractive in a relationship, then, most likely, he compensates for the existing disadvantages due to the presence of other important socio-cultural qualities.

7. Too the same

Couples in which people are too similar tend to break up quickly.

Researchers have found that similarities help form the foundation of a relationship, but if partners have nothing to learn from each other, they are more likely to drift apart.

So opposites attract.

8. Time limit

Scientists believe that the peak of falling in love or romantic love falls on a moment dated one year after the beginning of the relationship.

We remind you that it is falling in love that makes you experience euphoria and butterflies in your stomach.

After falling in love, the relationship ends or moves to a higher level, transforming into true love.

9. Associations

Research shows that thinking engrossed in love has a positive effect on creativity, abstract thinking, and long-term planning.

Reflecting on a fleeting intimate connection affects immediate decision-making and attention to the moment.

10. Face or body?

People looking for a short-term affair care more about the attractive body of their partner than about the beauty of his face.

In contrast, those wishing to enter into long-term relationships prioritize the attractiveness of the face over the body.

11. Hold hands

The next time you're stressed, try holding your loved one’s hand, because a romantic handshake can help reduce stress and physical pain.

12. Gratitude

Expressing gratitude to your beloved leads to an immediate surge in happiness.

13. Butterflies in the stomach

The butterflies in the abdomen that you feel when you fall in love are the result of the body producing the hormone adrenaline.

14. Pupils of the eyes

When you look at a loved one, even if it's just a photograph, the pupils of your eyes will dilate.

It should be added that people with dilated pupils are perceived as more attractive.

So it's no surprise that being in a relationship makes you appear more attractive to the opposite sex.

15. Searching for love

Long-term research has led to the conclusion that the happiness and life of most people almost always revolves around love or the search for love.

So even if you don't find the other half, searching alone will lead to happy life.

16. Lucky number seven

On average, people fall in love seven times before finally deciding to start a family. The seventh attempt, as a rule, becomes the reason for the marriage.

17. Male gaze

During his life, a man, on average, spends a whole year looking at women.

18. Self-esteem

People with higher self-esteem tend to have longer, more successful relationships.

If you are not capable, why expect this high feeling from other people?

19. Emotions when parting

According to statistics, men are more susceptible to negative emotional effects in connection with separation than women.

20. Long life

Husbands who kiss their wives in the morning are believed to live five years longer. And that's another five years extra to have your loved ones every morning.

21. Dislike

Some people are unable to experience love due to a disease called hypopituitarism, due to a decrease or complete cessation of the production of hormones by the pituitary gland.

22. Symmetry

Facial symmetry is the basis of beauty and attractiveness, in any case, the human brain thinks so.

Those with symmetrical facial features are more likely to make love and boast a large number of fans.

23. Pink glasses

Being in love suppresses the parts of the human brain that are responsible for the perception of social judgment.

No one wants to think they can fall in love with a terrible person.

24. Love quest

Romantic situations involving obstacles in the path of the beloved are important factors in falling in love, influencing how much you fall in love.

The longer the romantic path and the more intricacies, the brighter and stronger the feelings of love and longing manifest themselves.

25. The dark side of love

According to statistics, more than 50% of the murders of women are committed by their lovers or husbands.

26. Cheating

Almost 60% married men claimed to be unfaithful to their wives. Married women answered with a figure equal to 40%.

This information was compiled from a survey, so dishonesty on the part of any group cannot be ruled out.

27. Crisis of four years

Most marriages around the world experience a relationship crisis after four years of marriage.

The next important stage, which the spouses have to overcome, awaits them after the next four years, i.e. at the onset of the eight-year anniversary.

28. Forever young

Usually men marry for the first time with women who are their same age or younger within 3 years.

Upon remarriage, the age difference is usually approximately 5 years.

For the third time, a man, most likely, pays attention to women who are 8 or more years younger than him.

29. Biology

The urge to love, like the urge to eat, is the biological stimulus with which we are born.

So even men are more lovers than warriors.

30. Dangerous Lover

You are more likely to fall in love with someone (especially women) if, while in a dangerous situation.

31. Beer Belly

Women are less attracted to men who decide to reward themselves with a beer belly.

The presence of an overly bulging male belly indicates a lower testosterone level, which means a reduced ability to reproduce.

32. Sense of humor

A sense of humor is most often associated with honesty and intelligence.

This is why most women are attracted to men who can show off their humor.

33. Competition

Male attractiveness increases when a man is surrounded by other women.

34. Voice

Men with a lower timbre of voice seem to be more worthy of attention in women's eyes.

What is love from the point of view of psychology

Psychologists give different definitions to this word. There is no single term, as in medicine or chemistry, that defined love. It remains only to get acquainted with the most popular meanings given by experts in the field of psychology.

Version one:

Love is a stable feeling of one person for another person, which is justified by physiological needs. Love affects the psycho-emotional state, gives rise to affection and even dependence on the desires of the subject of adoration (in other words, dependence on a loved one).

Version two:

Love is a strong feeling that turns on very quickly and burns out just as quickly. Another version is known: love is a special state of an individual, which generates positive emotions, a feeling of euphoria, lightness and happiness. This feeling moves a person and even overshadows the mind.

What is love?

Psychologists distinguish several types of love. In order to determine what kind of love exists between a man and a woman, it is necessary to consider in detail their relationship.
Views:
love is omnipotent. It is about this kind of love that films are made and tearful novels are written. Every girl dreams of such a great feeling. Such love pushes to sacrifice, it is disinterested and not fleeting. And most importantly, it is mutual;

Love mania. Psychologists boldly compare this kind of love with obsession. In this case, feelings, emotions, desires arise only for one person. The second - the object of adoration simply ignores them, remaining indifferent. Such a state for a person in love is fraught with consequences: nervous breakdowns, depression, apathy and even suicidal tendencies;

Love is a toy. These are feelings that can be safely compared with deception. Two people play with feelings, entering into a relationship without obligation. A partner and a partner may be psychologically immature, do not attach importance to universal values. This love has clear boundaries (meetings only once a month, a taboo on serious conversations about problems and family, consumer relations);

Love is passion. In such a relationship, a man and a woman are attached to each other due to instinct (sexual need). There is a substitution of concepts, love is confused with passion and desire. The advantage of such a relationship: satisfaction, positive emotions justified expectations;

Love is mature. In another way it is called love-friendship. The essence of such love is hidden in the fact that partners do not have physical attraction, but a feeling of care and excitement for a loved one. Psychologists say that this type of love is not born spontaneously, it is necessary to painstakingly work on relationships.

Did you recognize yourself in these lines? Love can be different: passionate, mutual, deceiving. It is very important that both partners have the same meaning of this word. But how difficult it is to turn on a cold mind and not rush to surrender to feelings!

: psychologists, philosophers, biologists, chemists and even psychiatrists, but still no one can give it an exact definition. What is love with scientific point view, many researchers are trying to understand, but the results are almost always ambiguous, causing long-term controversy and discussion.

Biochemistry of the senses

Scientific definition of love as chemical reaction organism, was discovered by biochemists, indicating a rather complex formula. From a chemical point of view, love is a special reaction, the exact formula of which is understandable only to specialists. They argue that the feeling occurs due to the release of the substance dopamine - the hormone of joy. However, this interpretation raises many questions because:

• the chemical reaction does not distinguish between such feelings as lust, love, passion - the substances are released by the body the same, and the depth of sensations is different;
• the formula is the same for creativity and love (many images are inspired by unrequited feelings);
• some researchers believe that feelings are an irrational concept and cannot be written into chemical and mathematical formulas.

Therefore, love, as a feeling from a chemical point of view, cannot be explained, since by combining the elements of matter it is difficult to show all the nuances of emotions and to distinguish love from other, similar experiences. The philosophical definition of this feeling is also considered quite confusing for understanding love. Many researchers believe that love is immensity in the world of measures. However, this definition also raises many questions for those who are not familiar with philosophy.

One of the prominent psychotherapists of our time, M.E. Litvak, gives a more accurate and modern formulation of love:

"Love is an active interest in the life and development of the object of love."

This concept is in accordance with recognized scientific standards, as well as the provisions practical psychology... That is why this formulation is considered one of the most modern.

What is love scientifically in psychology

The definition given by Litvak makes it possible to distinguish this wonderful romantic feeling from such definitions as falling in love, sympathy and thirst for love, longing desire and tenderness. Here exact transcript concepts described by M. E. Litvak in his books.

“Interest can be passive and active. Passive is dreams, dreams. It is characteristic of sympathy, thirst for love and falling in love, although some people in this state become active and seek the object of their sympathy. However, falling in love, unlike love, means an urgent need to be together, physical attraction and tenderness. She is selfish (wanting to be loved), and not sacrificial, unlike love. There is no genuine concern, sacrifice, desire to correctly assess their capabilities and contribute to the development of their object of love ”.

Litvak shares love not only as concern for the well-being and development of others, but also for his own. Self-love becomes basic in such a situation. It is expressed in the formula: active interest in own life and development. This means that a person takes steps to become better, grows, works on himself, creates for himself the conditions for a happy life. With this approach, he sees and feels the desires of a loved one, creating conditions for their implementation. And may even give up own desire to be with a loved one if he sees that to a loved one will be bad with him. That is why jealousy, aggression, the desire to suppress and subjugate someone to their desires are completely not characteristic of true love.

Litvak writes about what is beautiful love scientifically in their books and contemporary literature. And, contrary to popular belief, this is not romance and passion at all. Yes, they also take place, but the very definition of love is not in them. He emphasizes that only affection can be bought, not genuine deep feeling. From a scientific point of view, modern love is also a helping hand in a difficult situation (but not to the detriment of oneself), friendship, in which there is also attraction, desire for procreation, sexual contact, trust and tenderness.

This is the opinion that modern specialists in practical psychology, who also work in married couples, adhere to today. They allow you to solve various family conflicts and try to bring the couple to a common solution.

And yet, not a single scientific definition of love contains a general formula that reflects dreams under the moon, a million flowers from a loved one, his tenderness and passion, as well as the smile of his beloved woman, for whose happiness he is ready to give everything. And not a single definition of what true love is from a scientific point of view can convey all the facets of this beautiful feeling.