How to make a girl run after you? How to make your girlfriend leave you How to make your wife leave

Getting a girl back can be tricky, especially if your relationship ended on a minor note. However, if you think that there is an incredible connection between you, then it is worth collecting the cooled coals and trying to rekindle the extinguished flame. If you want a girl to want you back, give her time to remember and realize how amazing you are. And to understand how to do it, just follow the next steps.

Steps

Temporarily step aside

1. Give the girl some freedom. Perhaps you think that The best way to return the girl - to fight for her with all his might and by any means, in fact, it is better to give her some respite than to immediately rush into battle. Unless she's in a serious relationship with another guy and you're determined to break them up, go easy on her, give her time to heal and evaluate the relationship with fresh eyes.

   • This does not mean that you need to cut off all ties, unless you think that is the best thing to do. But you should not write to her every five minutes or ask her to walk with you all the time, as you will only push the girl away.
   • If you leave her alone, she will most likely think of you too. She will think that she has not heard a word from you for some time. For a girl, this will mean that you are fine without her. This will intrigue and make her think about how you are doing there.
   • If she initiates meetings fairly early, that's good. But don't rush to get too close when you're together.
   • Giving a girl some freedom will make you look more mature. This will make her want you back even more.
   • Of course, do not delay with active actions. Give the girl enough time to heal her wounds, but not too long to forget all the wonderful moments associated with you. Cases are different - trust your intuition. However, there is general rule A: Give her at least a couple of weeks, but no more than two months.

2. Think about what went wrong. When giving a girl some freedom, don't sit back and watch the clock move. Instead, think about why things fell apart between you. If the reason is obvious, like you didn't spend enough time on it, great. But if the situation is more complex, for example, you did not let her know how much you appreciate her, and you spent too much time on parties, then you need to pinpoint the problems that caused feelings to cool down.

   • If the girl was the initiator of the breakup, then the problem is more serious. Think of all the reasons that could have pushed her to break up. If everything ended abruptly, check your mail and text messages to find possible cause parting.
   • If you ended the relationship, it's a completely different matter. You need to convince the girl that you will not break her heart again.

3. Make a plan to solve the problem. Do you understand the essence of the problem? The decision is yours. If there are several problems, it is necessary to find several solutions, or one comprehensive solution that will solve each of them. If the relationship ended because you spent too much time with your friends, find ways to give the girl more attention by having weekly date nights and looking for more things to do together. And if the reason was your inability to communicate normally, bring honesty and empathy into everyday relationships.

   • First of all, you need to work on yourself. It's clear that you were not perfect in a relationship.
   • Change your attitude towards the girl. If her passion for horses is driving you crazy, find a way to not get so annoyed by it before you move on.
   • If there are many problems, draw up a long-term plan of action, whether it is in psychotherapy, addiction withdrawal, or some kind of overhaul souls.

4. Work on yourself. Even if you think you've pinpointed the problem and found a solution that will instantly get your girlfriend back, nothing comes easy. Better work on becoming a more attractive person in general. And when you again appear in front of the girl, she will feel the difference. We are talking about both internal and external work on oneself. New hairstyle is unlikely to impress a girl, but the cheerfulness and conscious changes that you make to your image will make her pay attention to you.

   • Devote more time to your favorite hobbies, whether it's cycling or mechanics. When a person devotes himself to what he likes, he becomes more positive, and it becomes much more pleasant to communicate with him.
   • Develop a more positive attitude towards life. If a girl feels happier just by being around you, chances are she'll want to see you as often as possible.

   Make a girl want you back

   1. Show the girl that you are fine without her. If she finds out that you are completely unhappy, crying in public and shouting her name on every corner, she will forget about you faster than you can say that you miss her. Instead, let her know and see that you're having a great time every day without her. She will see in you an active, filled life energy person, and wonder why you don't openly show that you miss her more and more.

      • Have fun in places where you are likely to meet her. Show that you are having fun with your friends, let her see you laughing and having fun, but don't overdo it.
      • When you see her out in public, like at a party, don't drop everything to run and ask how she's doing. Ultimately, approach her, but let her know what an active social life you have without her.

   2. Let her friends know that she needs you. Here's a fact for you: it's impossible to get a girl back if her friends don't stand up for you. If your friends don't like you because you've been too controlling, neglected, or just because you're a bad guy, then your goal is to convince them that you're not so bad, and then they will pass on this information. girl.

      • When addressing her friends, take the trouble to start a nice conversation and not seem too intrusive.
      • When communicating with her friends, do not immediately mention her. Although you can casually ask how she is doing and really let them know how hurt you are if you are able to be so vulnerable.

   3. When the time is right, slowly approach her. When enough time has passed and you are back in her field of vision, you need to slowly begin to return to her life. When you run into her, stop and talk for a couple of minutes, or at dinner casually place your tray next to her, or even text her if you know her favorite show is on TV.

      • Keep calm. Be nice to the girl, making it clear that you just want to remain friends. Do not bombard her with compliments on the second date after breaking up.
      • Once you start talking again, up the ante slightly. Offer her something simple, like coffee or preparing for a class in the library together. It's not the time for romance yet.

   4. Show how you have changed. Screaming "Look how I've changed!" - no need. Just spend more time with the girl so that she understands that you have changed your attitude towards life, if necessary. If she thought you were too messy, work on your appearance. If she's criticized you for being late all the time, make an effort to show up early for your next coffee date. Do not focus on what you have changed in yourself. Let the girl see for herself and she will be truly impressed.

      • Change should come naturally to you. Don't change anything just to appease the girl, otherwise everything will return to normal at the first opportunity.
      • If you feel like you actually hurt a girl when you dated, it's never too late to apologize. She will be touched that you thought so much about the relationship after it ended.

   5. Price yourself. Yes exactly. Even when you think you almost got the girl back, even when she finally realizes what a tidbit you are, it's not yet the time to declare your love. Instead, cast the line so that she understands that she still has to fight for your love, and not just throw herself into your arms. As you start seeing each other more and more often, don't forget that you don't have to be available all the time.

      • Disappear for a few hours and let her think about where you are. Yes, she's going crazy.
      • After dates, mention them without too much detail, and she will think that she can really lose you.

   6. Make sure she wants you back. Once you feel like you've got her attention and made her jealous, it's time to make sure she really wants you back before confessing your feelings. You don't have to be 100% sure about her feelings, but the more confident you are, the less you'll have to blush. Here are some signs of her desire to rekindle the relationship:

      • Pay attention to her body language. When you talk to her, does she lean closer to you and look into your eyes? Does she look down every time she gets embarrassed?
      • See if she's jealous. Does she ask if you're dating other women, or does she seem upset when you're with girls? If so, then she wants you to be with her only.
      • Watch, maybe she has started treating you like her boyfriend again. Does she hug you, compliment you, and ask you out with special enthusiasm?

   7. Confess your feelings. Once you've made sure she shares your feelings, there's no point beating around the bush. Find a time when you can be alone and a romantic place with the right atmosphere. Now look her in the eye and tell her how much you missed her and how much you want to be together again. You should not be humiliated, but you need to show that you thought a lot about the failed relationship, and now you are determined to change everything for the better.

      • Be persuasive. Show how much effort you put in to change instead of making empty promises.
      • Give her time. If she turns you down at first, don't get angry or disappointed. Remember, even if the girl wants you back, her emotional wounds may not have healed yet.
5. Don't take relationships for granted. Just because you're dating again doesn't mean you shouldn't rush to show the girl how much you love her.
6. Take your time. Treat the relationship like it's new instead of diving back into the old relationship. Do not spend all the time together, even if it was before the breakup.

7. Don't repeat mistakes. You don’t need to constantly think about unsuccessful relationships, but you need to be aware of what caused the breakup last time. If the reason was that you were spending too much time with your friends and you find yourself doing it again, settle down a bit. And if it all ended because of the girl’s act and everything repeats, have the courage to talk about it.

   • Remember how terrible you felt after making mistakes the first time. You don't want to feel that pain again.
   • If you feel like you can't be yourself without dooming the relationship, then you need to rethink your priorities.
   • Be confident. Remember, the girl loves you, not the meek version of you that needs her attention.

• Be shrewd. Evaluate your ex-girlfriend before doing anything - perhaps she has changed for better or worse. One way or another, you will either not like such changes, or it may become easier to return it.
• When spending time alone with your ex, don't openly insult her new boyfriend, as this will make your true intentions obvious and embarrassing.
• Put aside all disagreements and leave no issues unresolved before embarking on this mission.

In this article:

A lapel from a husband in magic is used quite rarely. It can be done by both women and men. The first is to alleviate the pain brought to the family during its destruction, and the second, so that the woman she loves leaves her husband. In any case, the lapel is magic, and, as you know, all magical rites do not pass without a trace.

In what situations is a magical rite performed

There are different conditions under which a person decides to turn a lapel.

Situation #1

There are frequent situations when, until recently, a beloved wife ceased to evoke those feelings that made her go to the most unexpected actions, attracted her home to the family hearth in the evenings. And what if the spouse still wants to save the family, despite the obvious cooling of feelings on the part of her husband? The influence of magic, namely the lapel from her husband, can help to cope with the current situation.

In this case, the lapel acts gently on the subconscious and energy of the wife. For some time after the ceremony, the woman's feelings cool down, and love for her husband gradually fades away. The wife ceases to see the ideal in her chosen one, begins to notice many shortcomings in him. Thus, a man without scandals receives consent to a divorce, while the feelings of a woman are not infringed, she does not consider herself insulted and deceived.

There are frequent cases when a lapel from a spouse did not make former spouses enemies: even after a divorce, they were interested in each other's affairs and were engaged in raising children.

Situation #2

In some cases, a lapel from a husband is applied by a man if he fell in love married woman and does not know what to do to dull her feelings for her husband. Turning to magic, a man can force a woman to abandon her husband, but this does not mean that she will come to the customer (performer). As a result, the man will break happy family and he won't get what he wants. In this situation, a magical rite from a husband can lead to many negative consequences.

Situation #3

If the spouse has a relationship on the side, but at the same time he does not want to leave the family and cannot make a decision, the wife who ordered the magic ceremony will turn her rival away from her husband and return family well-being and save her family.

Situation #4

There are often situations when mistresses or women who are not indifferent to a married person want to make a lapel. In this case, the ritual will affect not only the spouse, but the whole family.

Until recently, a happy family will collapse, the children will be left without a father, who may not have been going to leave them. At the same time, the man himself may not go to the culprit of the lapel, but will wander around different dwellings, start using alcoholic drinks, get sick, etc.

Some methods become a necessary solution to a problem situation.

How to do

Those who decide to turn away from their husband must remember that the consequences will not keep you waiting. However, despite this, many people continue to be interested in the question of how to do and how to conduct the ceremony at home. There are many ways to implement magical ritual. The most common are:

• To perform the ceremony, you need to leave home in the winter, taking with you a glass and a small piece of paper, after writing the words on it:

"Love for husband (name)."

Then pour water into a glass and leave it to freeze in the cold, while pronouncing the following words:

“As this water cools down, let her heart (the name of the wife or other woman) cool down. As water freezes in a glass, so will love (the woman's name) for her husband freeze.

It is important that no one touches the glass after performing the ritual for 7 days. Depending on who was affected, certain events will occur. If the husband's mistress became a victim, then she herself will either leave him or cool off towards him so much that the husband will feel it and leave. It must be remembered that if someone else's husband is turned away and thereby a happy family is destroyed, then after this negative consequences will come, which will entail a series of failures.

• Lapel from the spouse according to the photo. To carry out the ritual, you will need a photograph of your mistress, a sheet of paper and a small piece of coal. In the middle of a sheet of paper, you need to glue a photo and circle it with a piece of coal counterclockwise, saying the words:

“Brothers-devils, spin, circle, take (the name of the woman) into the ring to the dwelling (name of the spouse) do not let. Cover her eyes so that (husband's name) stops entering the house. May it be so!"

Repeat these words 3 times.

Then go outside, light a fire and throw a photo and the remaining coal into it with the words:

“I kindle a fire, I burn the road (name of my mistress) to the house (name of husband). From now on, she will run away and stop bothering him.

These words should be repeated 6 times.

After that, you need to wait until the fire burns out and scatter a handful of ashes in a place where the rival often walks.

Turning to magic for help and turning away from your spouse is the most extreme measure; it is better to prefer other methods that are harmless to yourself and your husband.

Recently, men have become smaller, degraded. They stopped taking responsibility for their woman and family, but at the same time they also learned to blame women for demanding something from him (marry, provide family with housing and money, help with children).

So many men spend so much time whining, blaming women for failures, that they, men, began to earn little, etc., that if they spent this time on increasing income or on making their woman happy , then long ago they would have become rich and happy.

But they prefer to do things that undermine the self-esteem of women, sitting comfortably on the couch. It seems to them that it is much easier not to achieve success, not to satisfy women's needs, but to ridicule what is important for a woman. Or make fun of those men who have something in life. (doesn't have to make money)

And some have achieved good “professionalism” in not doing it themselves, but reducing self-confidence in others and, first of all, in their woman.

What methods do men use to lower a woman's self-esteem and self-confidence?

The first is unfounded criticism.

This is the most common way to reduce a woman's self-esteem. It is often used as an isolated technique. If a girl succeeds in everything, she is talented and skillful, then until she has learned to value herself (or simply trusts her chosen one), then you can take and devalue what the girl has, thinking at the same time that he will become higher from this. (Will not, let him not dream J)

Such manipulations range from very mild, like "You're not good at this" to rude.

Manipulation can occur at any time, from the beginning of acquaintance with a woman, to the moment when a man and a woman know each other or live together for 30 years. In addition, criticism is often combined with other manipulation techniques.

By itself, the technique is quite dangerous even in isolation, if it is constantly used, but when it is used in order to push through some unnatural concepts of life for a woman (which will be discussed below), they become much more dangerous. (The danger lies in the loss of confidence and the loss of several years of life) I wrote in great detail about how a man can manipulate and put pressure on pity in the second chapter in the book .

The second is pushing through the concept of free love.

It is quite multifaceted, but its whole essence boils down to ensuring that the smaller men, of whom there are more and more in life, can get comfortable. So that no one laughs at them, but they somehow get sex in this life, some attention from women, or even admiration.

The concept of free love is something that is completely against female instincts, the way she has lived (not a specific woman) for thousands of years and, in fact, the natural life for a woman. In such a natural life, a woman did not have sex with a man on the first date, she almost certainly married her chosen one, she definitely gave birth to children, in such a natural life, a man necessarily bore the main responsibility for the family and earned the main money (although the woman also worked in moderation forces). Families practically did not break up, even if there were strong crises in the family.

Do not think that I am a supporter of the transition to the 15th century according to the rules of communication between a man and a woman. Contraception, condoms, a woman's ability to earn her own living, kindergartens and other things, inevitably make adjustments to the old patterns of communication between men and women. But with adjustments for modernity, the old scheme still works.

The concept of free love is completely unnatural for women. In it, a man and a woman have sex on the first meeting and often without love (at the insistence of a man).

According to this theory, you can live with a woman for many years and not necessarily get married (read about how to get married in the book), it is not necessary to have children, and if necessary, you can easily get a divorce, change a woman and give up raising children (except alimony, which, taking into account the "gray" salary, can be 3 times lower than necessary).

A man who, with all his actions and words, pushes through such a concept of free love, of course, in case of luck, hits a woman’s self-confidence. Why? Yes, because the most natural desires and needs of a woman are not only questioned, but even ridiculed as outdated, etc. It comes to the point that in some forums, representatives of women “childfree” (do not want to have children) and men with the same ideology push their point of view that women do not need children. This is how much zombies are going on, that one of the strongest instincts of a woman is declared unnecessary and outdated.

Less strong instincts are much more often declared unnecessary.

Examples will be below.

Third - unwillingness to marry under the pretext that "the stamp in the passport" is not important, but "great love" is important.

As I wrote above, this is a manifestation of the concept of free love, when a woman, for expressing an absolutely natural desire to get married, is presented as an almost stupid, not modern woman, etc.

The example is standard. A man and a woman live together long enough for a woman to ask: And why don’t they call me to marry, because a year has already passed or even 5 years?”

And here the man begins his songs: “Yes, what will this stamp in the passport change. He doesn't change anything. After all, we love each other.”

If it doesn’t work, then promises with unclear deadlines come into force and which the man does not want to consolidate. (By securing a promise to marry, I mean voicing a promise to marry at a specific time, in the presence of a large number of people, for example relatives, and friends with some deadlines)

So, let's do a little translation from the male language.

“After all, we love each other so much. I love you more than anyone in the world. What will the stamp in the passport change?

Translation.“I settled in very well. I do not bear any of the responsibility that married men bear, but at the same time I enjoy all the advantages of a married man. Now I will tell her once again that the stamp in the passport does not change anything (or I promise that we will get married someday) and there will be no such stupid conversations for another year.

If to the topic, then of course the stamp in the passport changes a lot in the relationship between a man and a woman. If I didn’t change, then men would calmly put this stamp, and not come up with dozens of excuses. It's strange that sometimes you have to explain the obvious things. After all, marriage changes the regime of jointly acquired property, the status of a woman (married) in communication with friends or in any institution (for example, a husband was hospitalized. A wife came or a cohabitant is heaven and earth.) Her rights to even arrange a scene of jealousy are differentJ. I am already silent about the fact that a woman can safely give birth to children, counting on her husband and on the fact that he will support and help bring up. Outside of marriage, it is difficult for a girl to demand all these natural rights for her.

Fourth is the unwillingness to have children.

It manifests itself differently in men. The simplest thing is to drag out the issue with children for years and decades (when a woman already wants children, of course). This strategy is the most common.

The next one is pushing the idea that children are not needed at all. Overcrowding on earth :) You need to live for yourself. From the category of childfree. Childfree (women who consciously do not want to have children) have already built a whole ideology.

Man's words: "Let's live for ourselves, why do we need children." Translation : “I don’t care about your female desire to have children. After all, then the child will need to be educated, money spent on him, etc. I'm fine as it is".

Well, in fact, an ideology can be built to suit any instinct. Why eat, because overpopulation, for example :) Why go to the toilet, harmful waste :)

The next thing for a man is a clear unwillingness to have children even in marriage. Most often it occurs in cases where a man already has a child from his first marriage and he marries again.

Since he already has a child or even children, he has enough. And the fact that his wife does not have their own children, he essentially does not care. Why, one wonders, married young? Or why do young women marry men with such views and who do not want to adjust to the strongest basic needs of women?

Fifth is the pressure of men for pity.

I wrote about it many times.

For some reason, many women are convinced that it is on them that a man’s attempt to put pressure on pity does not impress and only causes disgust.

I assure you that this is a profound delusion. The pressure on pity has worked, is working and will continue to work for a long time, since a woman has a maternal instinct, which, in fact, is the basis of this psychological technique.

I agree that brute manipulation is usually too visible and doesn't work. But if there is a minimum of professionalism, then everything works fine.

So, what more advanced manipulations are there than when a poorly dressed, smelly man just runs up to you and asks for money “for travel”.

In more or less practiced manipulations of pity, a man literally does not complain or whine. (this is just rude) He (or better someone for him) just talks about his life. And the woman herself comes to the conclusion that life is unfair to this man and he needs to be pitied.

Examples:

- An unrecognized genius.

Such a man is “super professional” and “did a lot” for the company he works for. Its results turned the company's activities around. Not necessarily they even spread rot, just due to the specifics of the company they pay little.

— loving your food.

Such a man loves how you cook. And not just loves (which is not yet manipulation for pity), but where he is, there is no such cooking. He, poor thing, is underfed. And he's almost starving. And now you already feel sorry for him that he cannot eat tasty food anywhere and can die from hunger.

- A man with a difficult life fate.

As a child, his father left him, then his first wife left him, although he gave everything to her. Then he fought in Zimbabwe, where he was wounded on the toe of his right foot, etc.

I respect men with a difficult fate (not all), but for all these stories there is a time, place and form of presentation. And usually such men do not whine to their women about their “bitter” fate, and over a glass of tea they can say a few words to friends, remember a little military exploits, but nothing more.

If a girl met, meets a man, asks about his past and he briefly answers, then this is one thing. If this is a whole series, then definitely pressure on pity. Like I said, there's a whole chapter in the book about it.

- The "current" wife is a bitch and does not appreciate him.

It's such a standard theme, but it works great if married man need a lover.

The man is good and tries very hard for his wife and children (if any). But his wife constantly criticizes him, drives him out into the street in the cold season without outerwear, sets the children against him, and so on. In general, a paramount bitch who does not appreciate a wonderful man.

It is clear that I cannot describe all the options for pressure on pity. However common sense the trick is to tell the facts from your biography (or lie) so that it is good on the opposition, but somewhere bad, that life, others, etc. treat a man unfairly. and you should feel sorry for him.

Pressure, male manipulation of pity is With most powerful move. A woman already feels sorry for a man, but a man simply does not resist it or encourages it..

He repeatedly wrote that a man should be treated quite strictly. You have to be strict with him. If a man wants to “rest” when he needs to work, whine, criticize, when he needs to think, etc., then you don’t need to encourage his actions even if you listen to him.

And here the woman "herself" encourages the man.

As you can see, the pressure on pity in a "professional" way is not as obvious as it seems at first. And the vast majority of women somehow succumb to such manipulation by men.

I will repeat what I have repeatedly written about in this article. The manipulation itself is not always dangerous, even if it is powerful. It is extremely important not only that a man manipulates, but that he pushes through. If he wants to achieve an addition to dinner with the help of rough manipulations :), then this is one thing. If the manipulations seem to be easy, but the man purposefully promotes something from the category "let's live for ourselves and without children" or “Why do we need a stamp in the passport, it won’t change anything, because we love each other so much”, then such manipulations are dangerous, because if successful, a woman may begin to feel guilty for the simplest and most natural desires (like having children or getting married). And because of such manipulations, lose years of life in meaningless relationships and lose self-confidence.

The sixth is the unwillingness of men to work.

I already wrote that a new trend has appeared when men stop working and sit on the neck of a woman. He lives in her apartment, drives her car and at the same time either does not work at all or rarely works, with constant layoffs. Or just don't give her money.

This is of course an extreme option, but it occurs more and more often among those who are over 30-40 years old.

But in a milder version, it is much more common. A man works at the simplest job (according to his abilities, of course), does the very minimum at work, does not learn anything new, the periods between layoffs last much longer than it is necessary to find a job. (cannot allegedly find a job and lives at the expense of a woman)

How do men manipulate in this case? Of course, the same pity. For example, I can’t find a job in my specialty, they don’t take it.(So ​​go to another job) Or push through the fact that he does everything around the house, and his wife earns.

So let's sum it up. Male manipulation is basically limitless. Men can pull something, create competition around themselves, make it appear that a woman is relatively indifferent to him, etc. It is neither possible nor necessary to describe even the main ones.

The most dangerous for women's self-esteem is not a specific manipulation, but pushing through the concept of free love. For this, any set of techniques can be used. And if one does not work, then try another. That is, a man directly, indirectly, telling stories, showing films, recommending articles, etc. wants from a woman:

- sex without love and better at the first meeting,

- the possibility of almost officially cheating on your girlfriend,

- endlessly live with a girl (years) and at the same time not marry. (A second marriage for adults is not so relevant)

- ignore a woman's desire to have children,

- do nothing to fully provide the family with money, or even sit on a woman’s neck and say that: “you earn not enough, I don’t have enough for a new toy.”

What is important to prevent the most dangerous manipulations of a man? The simplest thing is to recognize a man who pushes the concept of free love through examples of his own, someone else's life, those films that he really likes. Rarely any of the men even strongly hides his views. If you see that he is pushing her, then either he has not yet matured to a normal life together with a woman (it happens to be too young), or there is a risk of losing several years of life and self-confidence with this man.

If you have any questions or want to improve and change your relationship with your man, please contact us for advice.

Sincerely, Rashid Kirranov.

Instructions: how to get your girlfriend back. 5 steps.

What to do right now

So your girlfriend left you. I stopped appreciating you and went looking for a better life. Her assessing look tells you that you are not the prince she dreamed of. It's a disappointment because you don't seem to live up to her expectations.

Your goal is not to conform to her expectations, but to take a significant position in her eyes. Now your balance of significance violated. Even if some time ago you were a close couple, by her decision now you are apart. Now she is free and you have no right to demand love and attention from her. To get her back, you need to build a relationship anew and fall in love with her.

There is one general rule that you must remember.

Never talk about relationships if they don't exist.

• Don't sort things out
• Don't confess your love
• Don't ask me to come back
• Accept that she's gone

This text is for those who have already cried and pulled themselves together. If you constantly lose self-control, you first need to find it.

Each of the 5 steps is part of a balanced strategy. There she is:

Disappear - -> Change - -> Appear - -> Seduce - -> Rebuild the relationship

disappear

60% of situations are solved - total ignore.

You can object: “She will forget me and find herself another!” This is a typical fear, especially if the girl is beautiful. At first, ignoring only means that you stop texting and calling her every hour. After a day or two, she begins to notice it. And if before that you were extremely annoying, she will begin to feel a lack of communication.

Admit it, you're not at your best right now. Your nerves are shattered, your pride is wounded, you look like a puppy thrown out into the street in the middle of winter. It takes time to regain human form.

Stop looking for connections with her and go straight to the second point.

change

She is no longer yours. The right to meet must be earned. Therefore, the transformation period is the most important. Need to change. And not in words, but in deeds.

I am sometimes asked: “Can I pretend?” It is possible, but you will have to spend as much effort as with real changes, but these efforts are useless. Sooner or later the deception will be revealed. Playing all the time is stupid.

For many, change means changing clothes. But even if you grow a beard and get a cool tattoo, this will not mean that you have changed in what you should have.

The girl leaves for specific reasons. This is usually associated with one of five unattractive qualities for her:

1. Permanent tight control
2. Low self-esteem
3. Constant "begging" for attention from a woman
4. strong jealousy
5. Self-affirmation at the expense of a woman

If you recognize yourself in them - draw conclusions. It's much easier to walk away from a guy who exhibits these qualities.

There are more attractive qualities - about 20. And these are the qualities that you need to develop in yourself. Choose at least three of them in which you are not strong and start changing.

There are 2 ways to change:

1. Actually change, but don't talk about it

If you were jealous - now just don't ask her where and with whom she spent time, be calmer. He was fixated on work - now listen carefully to what the girl is talking about. Do you want to become more self-sufficient: the very tone of future correspondence can clearly show this.

Tell stories from your life in which you showed yourself differently than before. Do not get carried away with bragging, you just need to mention it in passing. He was irresponsible, unreliable - in between times tell me that you promised to hang a shelf for your mother and hung it up. Was hyper-obsessive - tell me how much fun you had with your friends. I worked nights and days - tell me how you turned off Wi-Fi for the weekend and spent time in nature.

Of course, one small change is not enough. The change plan should be ambitious and well thought out for a week or a month in advance.

Here is an example of an action plan that I create with a client.

Or: See how detailed you need to plan changes.

Set clear goals for yourself and write down your results.

There must be a realistically measurable criterion that you are changing.

You should see the result: 2 weeks ago you thought about her every minute, called her 4 times a day and sobbed into the pillow, and now you don’t cry and you can spend time without her and enjoy it.

When she left, you were unreliable, constantly forgetting your promises and never getting the job done on time, and now you have taken on the responsibility of helping the family, not making promises if you are not ready to keep them, and trying to do everything on time.

Term of changes and ignore

You need to get in touch no later than 2 weeks later. If at least one communication channel remains, then you need to use it.

To appear

Write - -> Call - -> Meet

Remember: You only have three attempts to return. Appreciate them.

1. Wrote - > she is silent or communication is not built - > the first attempt burned down.

2. Called - > she did not answer or the communication went badly - > the second attempt also burned out.

3. Invited to a meeting - > she refused or the meeting went badly - > you burned out all three attempts.

Many people think that you need to write and call until the girl returns. I called once - I will call 100 more times. People do not realize that they have a limited number of attempts to return. When I talk about this, a person begins to appreciate his actions and weigh his every word.

Three tries is the rule. This means that you need to forget about the girl and move on if she does not want to communicate with you. By continuing to impose your communication on her, you will only make it worse.

- -> Write

One of the tasks when returning: to fall in love with yourself again.

Start the correspondence with the news and the counter question “how are you?”. The news should be cheerful and evoke emotions. People usually have a dull life, so they are always happy to "feed off" other people's emotions, listen to something exciting. It attracts. In addition, the girl expects from you that you will write as before, how bad you feel without her. And the good news speaks of changes, at least in your thinking.

You don't have to answer her right away.. Wait a couple of minutes, then an hour, then more. Not responding to messages right away is normal. You are a free man. You can be busy at work or travel by public transport. No need to justify.

Chat and make a pause in the dialogue on her cue for a day. It would be better if it was her question. This will create a lack of communication. This is called "delayed replica". If she starts writing again or calling, you don't need to answer. Create intrigue.

Your text should be smaller than hers. This is a subtle mechanism for managing the balance of significance. If a girl answers your news briefly and without interest, you need to end the communication faster, without saying goodbye, and switch to other methods of communication. I'll have to disappear again for a week to call her later.

Correspondence should last until you are ready for the first call.

- -> Call

Each stage brings you one small step closer to the girl.

The first call should grab the girl's attention. She should talk to you as an interesting person, so the call must be prepared very carefully - like a presentation in front of an important client. Tell her about a cool thing that happened to you recently. This story must be carefully rehearsed. "Test" it on another girl and see what kind of reaction it causes and what questions the girl can ask in response. Good story evokes emotions: laughter, delight, surprise. If the female tester does not react to her in any way, then the story is bad or you are telling it badly. It doesn't matter how much you have to rehearse. Imagine that this call is the only thing you have to get her back. If you fail him, then it will be difficult.

Work out the reason for the call. If you don’t want to feel the dumb question “why are you telling me all this?”, then you need to explain your call. If you can’t think of anything, just say: “I decided to call you, I don’t know why. Haven't talked in a long time. How are you?". Your story should not resemble a call from a call center.

Never talk about relationships if they don't exist.

• Don't sort things out
• Don't confess your love
• Don't ask me to come back
• Let the girl be free

If she listens, asks questions, then you are on the right track. Interest returns. If not, tell her that you were pleased to hear her voice. This will relax her. She won't feel like you want something from her. You just called to chat and see how she was doing. Goodbye!

The second call should restore her trust in you. If the first call you were preparing a story, now you are ready to listen to all her thoughts and everything that is important to her. Like Mom? Like Dad? How is study? The first call is a test call. It shows that you do not require anything and are quite adequate. He needs to take the pressure off. The second and third call - makes you closer. Therefore, increase the time of the call. Each stage brings you one small step closer to the girl. Move very carefully towards the target so as not to frighten it away. The worst thing is to put pressure: to set conditions, to bargain. And you need to fall in love again and win it again. We need to communicate like free people.

The fourth call is needed to invite her to a meeting. Find a reason. Invite her to an exhibition, a concert or a friend's birthday. It's better than being invited to a restaurant. "I'm going ___. Let's go together!" - that should be the message. This is a non-committal meeting, from which she knows what to expect: something interesting. You go just to spend time together, not to sort things out. She must understand this.

- -> Meet

Don't jump right into the fight. You need to break down the resistance.

At the meeting, you have to fall in love with her again. Tell a new rehearsed story. Show me how you've changed. Remember: now she is not yours, which means you do not need to behave like an owner or needy. Be self-sufficient: you meet to spend time together and nothing more. Don't pressure her.

At the second meeting, kinesthetics can begin. Touch her like you're getting close for the first time. If she doesn't mind, you can kiss her. Don't rush to drag her back to bed. Keep calm. Grass the line: break the kiss yourself and say goodbye. Don't wait for her to say she's not ready yet. If she's not ready for kinesthetics, save it for another time.

On the third date, you can be more active. If she let him kiss her the last time, then she has already become noticeably closer. You can move on to seduction and build relationships anew.

seduce

You were already lovers. Most likely, you know what to do next.

Rebuild relationships

So that the girl does not leave the relationship again, you need to ensure that the reasons for parting do not arise again. By the time she leaves, it's too late to make a fuss, so it's best to prevent problems ahead of time.

Why people break up:

• Unmet Needs
• Significance imbalance
• Unmet expectations
• Loss of interest

You can read more about what this means in other materials. (links)

We have discussed the main steps to take to win back a chilled girl: Disappear - -> Change - -> Appear - -> Seduce - -> Rebuild the relationship.

As you have already noticed, the main thing in this path is your transformation and patience. She does not want to go back to where she left - no problem. You're not trying to bring back the past. You disappear to reappear, and in the future everything will be different. Calculate when approximately this will happen and do not try to rush things. Direct your vector to the future. A couple of weeks - to ignore and change. A couple more weeks - for correspondence and calls, and only a month later - a meeting. Stock up on patience! You have a chance to change, and this is no less important than getting the girl back.