In feng shui and in general in China, water is considered the primary element, the basis of all life...
Today the Orthodox celebrate Forgiveness Sunday. Immediately after it, on Monday, Lent begins - it, in turn, continues until Easter on April 8th.
Forgiveness Sunday means the last day of Maslenitsa. In turn, Maslenitsa week precedes Lent. To get the dates you need, you need to subtract 48 days of fasting from Easter, and the day before the start is Forgiveness Sunday. Easter in 2018 is celebrated on April 8th. Thus, Forgiveness Sunday 2018 falls on February 18th.
What holiday is it
Forgiveness Sunday is the day on which you need to let go of all grievances, build relationships with family, friends and acquaintances, colleagues, neighbors and other people. All conflicts must be resolved.
This is a day of spiritual cleansing, preparation for Lent. Therefore, on Forgiveness Sunday it is strictly forbidden:
To refuse anyone who asks for forgiveness is a great sin,
think about the bad
to enter into conflicts with someone, get angry, quarrel and resent,
study physical labor: in particular, clean up and wash. Exception - cooking and pet care,
eat meat (in principle, meat products should have been on the first day of Maslenitsa), as well as get drunk,
leave food in the evening
go to bed late, as Lent is already after midnight.
All this is necessary in order to prepare for Great Lent, to cleanse your soul of negative thoughts and emotions.
Forgiveness Sunday: what to do
On this day, you need to try to be as sincere as possible. If some words to your loved ones have long been asked for on the tongue, then just on the last day of Maslenitsa they need to be said.
On Forgiveness Sunday, you should definitely try to go to the service in the temple. This is a special day for Orthodox Christians, because the Sermon on the Mount is read in churches, and during the service, the priest asks for forgiveness from his parishioners.
And, of course, to ask for forgiveness from relatives and friends. To do this, you do not need to list your sins and grievances, but just say: "Forgive me!"
At the same time, on Forgiveness Day, they ask for forgiveness not only from the living, but also from deceased friends and relatives. It is enough to do this mentally, praying for the repose of their souls. On the evening of Forgiveness Sunday, it was even customary for the Slavs to go to the cemetery to commemorate the dead and say goodbye to deceased relatives. It was believed that on this day they "feasted" with their loved ones on Maslenitsa.
Also on this day, there is a tradition to go to the bathhouse (in the modern version - to take a bath or shower) to wash away all the sins, including those accumulated during the Maslenitsa festivities, because they are sometimes accompanied by excesses.
Forgiveness Sunday: what to eat
On the last day of Maslenitsa, it is customary for the whole family to gather at the table. It is worth noting that in the old days they sat down at the table 7 times - according to the number of days of Shrovetide week. Moreover, believers on this day have a special menu:
Breakfast - pancakes;
lunch - pancakes and dairy products: cottage cheese, cheese, butter, sour cream, etc. You can serve dishes of fish, vegetables and eggs. But meat can no longer be eaten;
dinner: according to tradition, the last thing on the evening of Forgiveness Sunday was scrambled eggs. Why was this dish served last on the table on Forgiveness Sunday? So the housewives found use for the eggs and milk left over from making pancakes.
On Monday, it was no longer possible to eat up leftover food, so whatever was left of food on Sunday evening was burned or fed to pets. If there are no pets, you can feed the homeless.
History of Forgiveness Sunday
It is believed that the origins of Forgiveness Sunday lie in the traditions of Egyptian monks. Every year they went one by one for 40 days into the desert to strengthen their faith and stay away from earthly temptations. Before leaving, they asked for forgiveness from loved ones, as they could not return back from the desert due to any dangers.
Forgiveness Sunday is also called the day of Adam's exile. It is believed that one of the main reasons for the expulsion from Paradise was that Adam refused to confess to committing a sin. The Bible says that a person who does not forgive other people and does not ask for forgiveness himself will not receive the forgiveness of God.
Congratulations on Forgiveness Sunday
Today I ask everyone for forgiveness
For phrases, actions, my behavior.
And if you keep a grudge in your soul,
I beg you, forgive me this offense!
And may souls be cleansed on this day,
After all, nobody needs rubbish in this life.
May God forgive us all sins.
I wish that He saves everyone from troubles!
The bright holiday has come!
This Sunday
Before God you
I'm sorry.
Let's forget all the bad
And leave behind
Let only bright moments
Waiting on the path of life!
I'm sorry for everything
What could hurt you.
May God forgive, as they say.
Forgive you now.
I forgive you for all the years
I don't hold grudges
And if you forgive me,
"Thank you" I'll tell you!
Let with forgiveness Sunday
All grudges go away.
Forgive me today.
I will forgive. We'll be quits.
May spring warm you
This day is so good
And luck, happiness, joy
They'll come and piss you off!
In a bright moment and an hour of forgiveness
With the help of the Lord
I ask you to forget the insults
Freed from sins.
May the ray of God's Grace
In the soul will disperse the clouds
And all of us in the world of sinners
To love, to forgive will teach.
Answered by Yesenia Pavlotsky, linguist-morphologist, expert of the Institute of Philology, mass media and psychology of the Novosibirsk State Pedagogical University.
Definitely the correct option Forgiveness Sunday. Let's see why the error occurs.
There are such linguistic patterns and grammatical categories that both schoolchildren and scientists suffer equally from - because neither one nor the other ceases to be native speakers, regardless of their relationship with it.
For example, take the number one point twenty-four hundredths and decline it without a guide. Given the amount of energy you'll expend, it's practically fitness. This happens when some component becomes obsolete in the language system. It ceases to develop, causes difficulty in use by most native speakers, and eventually dies off. Such components either disappear forever or find expression in other forms. For example, some paired items such as horns, shores, eyes, retained the dual form, although today in Russian there is only singular and plural.
It also happens that the path of the phenomenon was so complicated that confusion arises with it, even if it is not going to die off. With patterns regarding NOT with adjectives and adverbs, as well as H and HH when used different parts speech just like that. Including for this reason, there are disputes about the spelling of various words and combinations according to these rules.
So, Forgiveness / Forgiveness Sunday(written with capital letter as the name of the day church calendar, in this sense it is equivalent to the name of the holiday) - the day when believers ask each other for forgiveness in order to begin Great Lent. H or HH do we write in the name of this day?
Here is what the complete academic reference book "Rules of Russian Spelling and Punctuation" edited by Lopatin tells us:
The suffixes of the full forms of the passive participles of the past tense are written with NN: -nn- and -yonn- (-enn-). Adjectives correlative with them in form are written in some cases also with HH in the suffix, in others - with one H. Participles and adjectives are written with HH in -wounded, -wounded, -wounded(formed from verbs in -ovate, -evate), for example: spoiled, uprooted, lined, painted, organized; uprooted, spoiled, painted, lined, reorganized.
They are also written with HH participles not on -ovanny (-ovanny, -evanny) perfective verbs and correlative adjectives; the vast majority of such verbs contain a prefix.
Examples of forms formed from prefixed verbs: bleached, washed, knitted, roasted, scribbled, dyed, peeled. The list of forms of native non-prefixed verbs, as well as some verbs, the prefix in which can only be distinguished etymologically: abandoned, given, finished, bought, deprived, captive, forgiven, let go, decided, seized, revealed; met, ventured, offended, found, obligated, visited, supplied.
According to this rule, the forms of two-species (meaning both perfect and imperfect) verbs are also written to marry, to bequeath, to promise, to execute, to give birth: married, bequeathed, promised, executed, born.
And this is far, far from everything!
For those who are still awake, there are (of course) exceptions for dessert: correlative adjectives with participial forms are written with one H as part of the following sustainable combinations: finished man, named brother, named sister, planted father, planted mother, Forgiveness Sunday . Some reference books note that this is the traditional church language practice.
In fact, of course, for those who were looking for a specific answer to a direct question, everything will suit here: it happened, this is an exception, you need to remember - Forgiveness Sunday . But for some reason this does not eliminate errors and confusion in general. Directories did not appear yesterday, the pattern did not appear yesterday, but forgiven With forgiven confused and will always be confused.
Here it is worth mentioning separately that the concept of exclusion, so carelessly presented to us at school, is somewhat at odds with what it actually is. When we see language exceptions in textbooks, we have a question: wait a minute, why did I just read a long and incomprehensible rule if something doesn’t fit into it anyway? As a result, a justified protest: these people who came up with the rules (although the systematization of data and their fixation are not exactly “invented”) - where did they look? Why did they fit something into the system, and it seemed that it didn’t fit anywhere? What is it, now you just need to remember and not try to comprehend?
Of course, the reality is more complicated. For example, let's look at exceptions. "drive, hold, look and see ..." well known to everyone from school. There were 4 thematic classes of verbs in the Old Russian language. The verbs of the fourth class included verbs with a zero suffix in the stem of the present tense and with the suffix -and- in the infinitive, as well as with a base on yat (ѣ) in the infinitive, and after hissing and j (yot) on -a. The fourth class of thematic verbs belonged to the second conjugation: offend - offend; see—you see; hear - hear. So the verbs hear, see, hate, depend, endure, persecute, hold, breathe, offend, watch, twirl were originally verbs of the second conjugation.
However, to acquaint a student with historical grammar means to “fill his head” with information that he does not need, since it does not help to realize the goals set by the school curriculum. Moreover, the child is simply not ready for this, this is a professional level of language proficiency, which the school does not give or should not give.
So, the language system is very complex: in the process of its development, new phenomena and categories were eliminated and appeared, which today have led us to the fact that we are working with echoes of the ancient state of the language. There is no "superfluous" in the language, there are no "exceptions". The exception is a methodological concept designed to somehow designate these echoes. So there are situations in which it is better to remember the norm so as not to completely confuse yourself with the search for truth.
Whom to ask for forgiveness on this day - from everyone in a row or only from those whom you probably offended? And how to forgive from the heart, how to find out if you have forgiven in deeds or only in words? What to do if there is no strength to forgive?
We asked Priest Maxim Pervozvansky to clarify the meaning of Forgiveness Sunday and the essence of forgiveness.
As before death...
– Father Maxim, where did this custom come from – to ask forgiveness from everyone on the last day before Great Lent?
- This is not at all some product of folklore, this is the oldest church tradition. Christ Himself laid the foundation for it with his own words, sounding in the Gospel of Matthew: “If you forgive people their sins, then your Heavenly Father will also forgive you; but if you do not forgive people their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive you your trespasses.”(Matthew 6:14-15). This is the unchanging Gospel reading on the last Sunday before Lent.
Later, the rite of forgiveness appeared in the Church. In Egypt or Palestine, the monks went into the desert one by one during Lent and, of course, were not sure that it would not become their last refuge. Therefore, they reconciled with each other, asking forgiveness for everything, as before death.
– We don’t go to any desert... Why do we continue to observe this tradition and Forgiveness Sunday still falls precisely on the eve of Great Lent?
– Because it is categorically not recommended to enter Great Lent in a non-peaceful state. This is the time of purification, spiritual renewal before Easter; really reconcile with everyone, forgive everyone from the heart.
Forgive instead of sorry
- What does it mean to forgive? What should we invest in this concept?
- There are two different words: "I'm sorry" and "I'm sorry." These are almost synonyms in modern Russian, however, initially these words are very different in meaning.
Haven't you noticed that it's often easier to say "sorry" than "sorry"? "I'm sorry" means take me out out of guilt, make me innocent, in other words, let's assume that I'm not guilty before you. So a child who climbed onto the table for sweets and broke a vase can say: "Mom, I broke your favorite vase right here, I'm sorry." Thus, he wants to justify himself: "It's not my fault, it happened."
What is "sorry"? This means: I am guilty, I admit my guilt, but let it go to me, accept me as I am, I will try to improve.
Therefore, we ask God not to forgive, but to forgive, which means to accept. To accept the guilty, the sinful, whatever - but accept.
– It is the same with people: do we ask them to accept us as we are?
– Yes, and in this sense, forgiveness can qualitatively change our relationship. It is no coincidence that the word "forgive" has a certain connection - both phonetic and semantic - with the word "simply". Pay attention when relationships between people start to deteriorate, they say that they become more complicated, i.e. lose their simplicity and clarity: we cannot simply look into each other's eyes simply smile at each other simply talk. And when one of us says the word “sorry”, it means the following: “I am guilty, I will try to correct myself, make amends; let's remove these difficulties, let's make it so that we can again look into each other's eyes.
By asking for forgiveness, we are trying to simplify our relationship with people and with God, admitting our guilt and letting go of the guilt to our neighbor. This is where our cleansing begins, this is where Great Lent begins.
Why ask for forgiveness?
- Father, is it necessary on Forgiveness Sunday to ask for forgiveness from everyone you know even the slightest bit - according to the principle “maybe I offended him in some way, but I don’t remember”? Or only those who definitely hurt?
– Firstly, we ask for forgiveness from those against whom we have sinned, whom we have upset, with whom we have omissions, difficulties and problems in relationships.
Secondly, we must ask for forgiveness from all people in general - as our brothers and sisters - for the fact that we are bad Christians. After all, we are all members of the one body of Christ. Whether one member is sick or the whole body is sick is one of the key thoughts of Scripture. Adam and Eve sinned - all mankind is tormented. I have sinned - my brother is tormented.
In addition, we need to ask for forgiveness from people for the fact that we do not truly love them. We are called to love every person, and instead we “communicate a little” with him, because he is not interesting to us. We are only interested in ourselves and those people who this moment we need. Here is a sin against people - on Forgiveness Sunday it is useful to feel it.
Such a definition does not mean that you need to fall at the feet of everyone. But you need to try this moment - the lack of love in yourself - to feel and sincerely repent.
How to forgive?
– What if a person feels that he is not able to forgive? And Forgiveness Sunday came - it seems that it would be necessary to forgive ...
Anyone can forgive. When people say "I can't forgive," they often mean that they are unable to forget the pain they've been hurt. But forgiveness does not mean forgetting the pain. Forgiveness does not mean its automatic and instantaneous disappearance. It means something else: "I do not hold on to the evil that caused me this pain, I do not wish him retribution, but I accept him as he is." The pain may not become less, but on the other hand, a person will be able to look directly into the eyes of his offender, if he himself is ready to look into his eyes and sincerely ask for forgiveness for the offense caused to him.
- But if the offender does not even think to admit his guilt and go to the world?
- Then, of course, it's hard to put up. But the Lord calls us to forgive even our enemies, and He Himself gives us an example in this. Such forgiveness seems to be something fantastic, impossible, but in God, in Christ it is possible.
When learning to forgive, we must also remember this point: often people who hurt us do so by the permission of the Lord. Not in the sense that they are not to blame, but in the sense that this offense will benefit us.
For example, if we ask God for such a quality as humility, it would be wrong to expect that it will suddenly fall on us from heaven by itself. Rather, we need to wait for God to send a person who will offend us, hurt us, maybe even unfairly. Having endured such an insult, having found the strength to forgive - maybe only on the 3rd, 10th, 20th time - we will slowly learn humility.
So you need to understand that nothing happens by chance and God creates everything for our benefit.
Father Maxim, how can I determine whether I have truly forgiven or not? In words, you can forgive, although this is also not easy, while in reality, resentment may remain ...
The thing is, forgiveness is not a one-time process. It happens that we, it seems, have forgiven and forgotten everything, and after a while, indignation and anger at our offender flares up in us again.
What's the matter here? The thing is, unforgiveness is a passion. And the passion that once settled in us can, over time, take root firmly in the soul and, moreover, is able to hide, for the time being, without showing “signs of life”. This happens especially often when the offense inflicted was really extremely painful and serious.
And who benefits from having this wound bleed again and again? Of course, the evil one! He tirelessly, with all his might, tries to lead a person astray, and if we have some kind of “sore spot” - something that makes us lose balance, get annoyed, angry - he will definitely put pressure on him. There is an insult - this "horn" will remind her, refresh in our memory unpleasant deeds or words spoken to us.
This scar heals for a long time - it takes time, but you also need to make efforts yourself so that it heals.
We must remind ourselves that with God everything is possible. Christ, experiencing torments on the cross that we are afraid to even imagine, forgave his tormentors and will give us the strength to forgive our offenders.
AT explanatory dictionary S.I. Ozhegov, the word “apologise” has two meanings: 1. ask for forgiveness. 2. bring something in your defense ( obsolete).
Interviewed by Valeria Posashko
- The last day before Lent. On this day, all Orthodox people ask each other for forgiveness for the offenses they have caused - in order to start fasting with a good soul, to focus on spiritual life. And in the evening on the eve of the onset of Great Lent in churches, Vespers with the Order of Forgiveness. After Vespers, the priest sets an example and is the first to ask everyone for forgiveness. After that, all the parishioners come up and ask forgiveness from him, as well as from each other. On this day, everyone does their best to reconcile with everyone.
The tradition of asking for forgiveness on the last Sunday before Lent goes back to ancient Egyptian monks. Their life was not easy, and leaving for all 40 days of fasting in the desert, none of them was sure that they would return from solitude. As before they died, they asked each other for forgiveness the day before.
In pre-revolutionary Russia, there was a custom for the tsar to seek forgiveness from his subjects. For this purpose, the king traveled around the troops, asked for forgiveness from the soldiers, visited monasteries.
For many, this is another reason to pay attention to their loved ones. It is those closest to us that we offend the most. Let it be inadvertently, let it seem to be not obvious, inattention, for example. You think you should ask for forgiveness, but the hustle and bustle take their toll ... Forgiveness Sunday is an opportunity to stop, look back at the series of days lived, feel the value of relationships with people dear to you.
Unfortunately, asking for forgiveness on “Forgiveness Sunday” turns not only among external, but also among completely churched people, into a ritual, such as “swim in the hole at Epiphany”, “fry pancakes for Maslenitsa” or “bless Easter cakes”.
It is useful to ask for forgiveness for something specific: if I remember that I once spoke rudely with this person, once did not help, paid little attention, it would be better if I ask him for forgiveness for these sins “by name”. The generalized “forgive me for everything” is similar to “I am a sinner in everything” in confession; real repentance in both cases equally may not be.
Many of us know from our own experience that it is much easier to forgive than to ask for forgiveness ourselves. Is it easy to offend another person? Easily. Is it easy to get offended? Easily. Is it easy to forgive? Difficult. Uncomfortable. Do not want. But you still need to forgive. Yes, it is a serious step to ask for forgiveness. No wonder the Orthodox say that the most difficult feat is repentance.
Our forgiveness is certainly in the hands of God. It's up to him to decide. But we hear the message of the Savior: If you forgive people their sins, then your heavenly Father will also forgive you».
On Forgiveness Sunday, the Orthodox commemorate the expulsion of the forefather Adam from paradise. Therefore, Forgiveness Sunday is also called "Adam's expulsion from Paradise". It is believed that this mournful event is the source of all our worldly troubles. The reason for Adam's expulsion is the sin committed by the forefathers, who abused the gift of free will and violated the divine commandment of obedience.
At the liturgy, the Gospel is read with a part from the Sermon on the Mount (Matt. 6:14-21), which speaks of forgiveness of offenses to our neighbors, without which we cannot receive forgiveness of sins from the Heavenly Father, about fasting, and about collecting heavenly treasures.
Question:
On Forgiveness Sunday, it is customary for everyone to ask for forgiveness. How to do it right? What words should be spoken? What does the rite or procedure for asking for forgiveness look like in general?
Natalia
Hieromonk Job (Gumerov) answers:
The purpose of Great Lent is to be cleansed of sins and reborn spiritually. In order for the Lord God to forgive us our sins, we must forgive all people their “sins” before us: “Judge not, and you will not be judged; do not condemn, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven” (Luke 6:37).
The rite of forgiveness is performed on Sunday at the evening service. You need to come to the beginning of the service in the temple and, together with everyone, become a participant in the commission of this rite.
At the same time, we try to ask for forgiveness from all loved ones. There is no such person who, having communicated regularly, would not upset another by word, deed or insensitivity. There is no order here. It is important that our words are sincere.
“If you, man, do not forgive anyone who has sinned against you, do not trouble yourself with fasting and prayer - God will not accept you” ( Saint Ephraim the Syrian).
Read also:
- Forgiveness Sunday: "I'll forgive you, but I'll never forget you"
- RESURRECTION OF SMALL GROUPS
or what prevents us from forgiving on forgiveness Sunday
Forgiveness Sunday precedes Great Lent. A beautiful and seemingly simple tradition is to ask everyone for forgiveness. But it raises a lot of questions...
Whom to ask for forgiveness on this day - from everyone in a row or only from those whom you probably offended? And how to forgive from the heart, how to find out if you have forgiven in deeds or only in words? What to do if there is no strength to forgive?
We asked Priest Maxim Pervozvansky to clarify the meaning of Forgiveness Sunday and the essence of forgiveness.
—Father Maxim, where did this custom come from - asking everyone for forgiveness on the last day before Great Lent?
“This is not at all some product of folklore, it is an ancient church tradition. Christ Himself laid the foundation for it with His own words, sounding in the Gospel of Matthew: If you forgive people their sins, then your Heavenly Father will also forgive you; but if you do not forgive people their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive you your trespasses» (Matthew 6:14-15). This is the unchanging Gospel reading on the last Sunday before Lent.
Later, the rite of forgiveness appeared in the Church. In Egypt or Palestine, the monks went into the desert one by one during Lent and, of course, were not sure that it would not become their last refuge. Therefore, they reconciled with each other, asking forgiveness for everything, as before death.
“We don’t go to any desert ... Why do we continue to observe this tradition and Forgiveness Sunday still falls precisely on the eve of Great Lent?
- Because it is categorically not recommended to enter Great Lent in a non-peaceful state. This is the time of purification, spiritual renewal before Easter; really reconcile with everyone, forgive everyone from the heart.
Forgive instead of sorry
- What does it mean to forgive? What should we invest in this concept?
- There are two different words: "I'm sorry" and "I'm sorry." These are almost synonyms in modern Russian, however, initially these words are very different in meaning.
Haven't you noticed that it's often easier to say "sorry" than "sorry"? “Sorry” means take me out of guilt, make me innocent, in other words, let's assume that I am not guilty before you. So a child who climbed onto the table for sweets and broke a vase can say: "Mom, I broke your favorite vase right here, I'm sorry." Thus, he wants to justify himself: "It's not my fault, it happened."
What is "sorry"? This means: I am guilty, I admit my guilt, but let it go to me, accept me as I am, I will try to improve.
Therefore, we ask God not to forgive, but to forgive, which means to accept. To accept the guilty, the sinful, whatever - but accept.
- It's the same with people: do we ask them to accept us as we are?
Yes, and in this sense, forgiveness can qualitatively change our relationship. It is no coincidence that the word "forgive" has a certain connection - both phonetic and semantic - with the word "simply". Pay attention, when relations between people begin to deteriorate, they say that they become more complicated, i.e. lose their simplicity and clarity: we cannot just look into each other's eyes, just smile at each other, just talk. And when one of us says the word “sorry”, it means the following: “I am guilty, I will try to correct myself, make amends; let's remove these difficulties, let's make it so that we can again look into each other's eyes.
By asking for forgiveness, we are trying to simplify our relationship with people and with God, admitting our guilt and letting go of the guilt to our neighbor. This is where our cleansing begins, this is where Great Lent begins.
Why ask for forgiveness?
- Father, is it necessary on Forgiveness Sunday to ask for forgiveness from everyone whom you know at least the slightest bit - according to the principle “maybe I offended him in some way, but I don’t remember”? Or only those who definitely hurt?
“Firstly, we ask for forgiveness from those against whom we have sinned, whom we have upset, with whom we have omissions, difficulties and problems in relationships.
Secondly, we must ask for forgiveness from all people in general - as our brothers and sisters - for the fact that we are bad Christians. After all, we are all members of the one Body of Christ. Whether one member is sick or the whole body is sick is one of the key thoughts of Scripture. Adam and Eve sinned - all mankind is tormented. I have sinned - my brother is tormented.
In addition, we need to ask for forgiveness from people for the fact that we do not truly love them. We are called to love every person, and instead we “communicate a little” with him, because he is not interesting to us. We are only interested in our own person and those people that we need at the moment. Here is a sin against people - on Forgiveness Sunday it is useful to feel it.
Such a definition does not mean that you need to fall at the feet of everyone. But you need to try this moment - the lack of love in yourself - to feel and sincerely repent.
How to forgive?
But what if a person feels that he is not able to forgive? And Forgiveness Sunday came - it seems that it would be necessary to forgive ...
Anyone can forgive. When people say "I can't forgive," they often mean that they are unable to forget the pain they've been hurt. But forgiveness does not mean forgetting the pain. Forgiveness does not mean its automatic and instantaneous disappearance. It means something else: "I do not hold on to the evil that caused me this pain, I do not wish him retribution, but I accept him as he is." The pain may not become less, but on the other hand, a person will be able to look directly into the eyes of his offender, if he himself is ready to look into his eyes and sincerely ask for forgiveness for the offense caused to him.
- But if the offender does not think to admit his guilt and go to the world?
“Then, of course, it’s hard to put up with it. But the Lord calls us to forgive even our enemies, and He Himself gives us an example in this. Such forgiveness seems to be something fantastic, impossible, but in God, in Christ it is possible.
When learning to forgive, we must also remember this point: often people who hurt us do so by the permission of the Lord. Not in the sense that they are not to blame, but in the sense that this offense will benefit us.
For example, if we ask God for such a quality as humility, it would be wrong to expect that it will suddenly fall on us from heaven by itself. Rather, we need to wait for God to send a person who will offend us, hurt us, maybe even unfairly. Having endured such an insult, having found the strength to forgive - maybe only on the 3rd, 10th, 20th time - we will slowly learn humility.
So you need to understand that nothing happens by chance and God creates everything for our benefit.
Father Maxim, how can I determine whether I have truly forgiven or not? In words, you can forgive, although this is also not easy, while in reality, resentment may remain ...
The point is that forgiveness is not a one-time process. It happens that we, it seems, have forgiven and forgotten everything, and after a while, indignation and anger at our offender flares up in us again.
What's the matter here? The thing is, unforgiveness is a passion. And the passion that once settled in us can, over time, take root firmly in the soul and, moreover, is able to hide, for the time being, without showing “signs of life”. This happens especially often when the offense inflicted was really extremely painful and serious.
And who benefits from having this wound bleed again and again? Of course, the evil one! He tirelessly, with all his might, tries to lead a person astray, and if we have some kind of “sore spot” - something that makes us lose balance, get annoyed, angry - he will definitely put pressure on him. There is an insult - this "horn" will remind her, refresh in our memory unpleasant deeds or words spoken to us.
This scar heals for a long time - it takes time, but it is necessary to make efforts yourself so that it heals.
We must remind ourselves that with God everything is possible. Christ, experiencing torments on the cross that we are afraid to even imagine, forgave his tormentors and will give us the strength to forgive our offenders.
In the explanatory dictionary of S.I. Ozhegov, the word “apologise” has two meanings: 1. ask for forgiveness. 2. bring something in your defense (obsolete).
Interviewed by Valeria Posashko
Based on materials from the site http://www.pravmir.ru/
Forgiveness Sunday is always celebrated before the first day of Lent. Everyone knows that you need to ask for forgiveness from family and friends. But it is important to answer correctly. Next, we will analyze how to respond to a request for forgiveness on Forgiveness Sunday, what words to say and what to put in them. Before fasting, you need to be sincere, of course it’s good to forgive the offenders, but it also happens that you can’t forgive, is it worth it then to dissemble? Or you can answer sincerely, without melting malice and not hiding the truth.
- Psychological moment
- History of Forgiveness Sunday
What words to choose to answer the request for forgiveness from the point of view of the Orthodox faith
Traditionally, on the last Sunday of Shrovetide week, which precedes Lent, we ask each other for forgiveness and in return forgive the offenders. But many are lost and do not know what words to choose when they hear a request for forgiveness. It is important to understand here that some people ask for forgiveness only because it is required by custom, out of habit, since this is the day. But the request must be answered. It is customary to say: "God will forgive!". Some still add: "And I forgive!".
Important! Speak these words sincerely, from a pure heart. Priests advise choosing other words if there is no forgiveness in the soul or there is nothing to forgive for. Better the answer will not be in the accepted form, but sincere, from the heart. If you cannot forgive offenses to someone who asks for forgiveness, answer that "God will forgive" and sincerely wish this. You can even say that you yourself cannot forgive yet, but you really hope that the Lord will grant forgiveness. Such an answer will help you come to terms with yourself inside before Lent and possibly bring you closer to the person who offended you.
If there is no offense and say that there is nothing to forgive for, do not take the request formally, treat this ceremony with soul and understanding, do not think about how to respond correctly to the request for forgiveness on Holy Sunday, answer as your heart tells.
Important! The formulaic answer that God will forgive is sometimes not welcomed by the church. You don’t need to answer like that if there is no forgiveness in your heart, and you don’t want the forgiveness of the Almighty to the offender. If this is a formal excuse, then it is also not worth mentioning the name of the Lord in vain once again. This violates the third commandment. Choose other words, you can even say that you cannot forgive. It will be better than hypocrisy. Well, if there is no resentment, then answer so.
The accepted answer “God will forgive” emphasizes that we are all sinners on this earth and have no right to judge or hold grudges. They will tell the one who asked for forgiveness that you are equal, that you are not going to judge, that you are turning to God for forgiveness and mercy. This is the essence of Christian forgiveness. In addition, the gospel speaks of the importance of forgiveness. By forgiving, we can also claim that we ourselves will be forgiven by the Lord.
Psychological moment
Psychologists say that it is necessary to respond to a request for forgiveness on Forgiveness Sunday, but how, the heart will tell. From the point of view of psychology, the template answer is not always correct. Even he can serve as a source of resentment. This is possible if no one has hurt each other. Important to choose Right words and intonation.
If you were asked for forgiveness, paying tribute to tradition, say affectionately that there is nothing to forgive, that there are no offenses. To the one who has been forgiven, tell about it by all means. It will be important for a person who repents of having offended to hear sincere words of forgiveness.
You should not be formal about the need for forgiveness before starting a fast. It is important here to actually forgive, and not to choose words for an answer. But do not blame yourself for the fact that you cannot forgive, it is better to be sincere in front of yourself and loved ones.
Asking for forgiveness is one of the customs that have been established since ancient times, even in pagan times, like Maslenitsa itself. There are several customs on Forgiveness Sunday, all of them have the meaning of purification, letting go of those moments that pulled at the soul.
Other customs on Forgiveness Sunday
Since ancient times in Russia it was customary to spend noisy and fun Shrovetide week, and on Forgiveness Sunday ask for forgiveness, cleanse the conscience and body. Here's what happened that day:
1. Visit the baths. This is a symbolic rite of purification. They washed away all burdens and bodily dirt.
2. Ask for forgiveness. Remove from yourself all emotional experiences and worries, all that torments and torments.
Believers on this day go to the temple, confess, perform rites of reconciliation and purification.
It is not customary to spend this day noisily with fun and a feast. It is important to prepare for Great Lent physically and mentally.
History of Forgiveness Sunday
Today we are noisily celebrating the last day of Maslenitsa - Sunday, although initially it served to repent, to prepare for fasting. Pagan traditions underlie the Maslenitsa holiday, and the rite of repentance and forgiveness is Christian. It has nothing to do with Maslenitsa, it just coincides with the calendar.Before the beginning of the fast, which the monks spent in wandering and solitude, they asked each other for forgiveness for all insults, voluntary and involuntary. This was important because they spent all the days of the ambassador in strict restraint, not caring about the bodily, secluded. Many did not return, they died. The fact that they were forgiven before they died was of great importance both for those who passed away and for those who remained.
