How to get rid of your own stubbornness. How to get rid of your own stubbornness Who is the best here

Where to begin? 21.08.2020
Where to begin?

There are times when you get carried away and you can't stop. “No, again no, I said No!” And in your head you hear the words of your mother: “You are stubborn as a donkey! How far can you stubbornly?”

When did it start? Probably from childhood. You are a cute daughter! Parents and grandmother are overjoyed - the golden child! And she gets up early, and goes to bed early and can occupy herself, everyone is eager to help her grandmother in the kitchen. A bit slow, yes! But what a smart, reasonable and accurate! Always in a clean dress, in snow-white socks, just a feast for the eyes!

No one noticed when the miracle child began to show donkey stubbornness. Without any reasons. Maybe it was the birth of her brother that affected her? They began to pay less attention to her, but she is already big, the status of an older sister obliges. They stopped praising, so adults don’t have enough time. No, it can't be, she really loved her little brother.

How much can you carry?

He doesn’t want to leave his brother alone at home, perhaps that’s why he resists and doesn’t want to go to kindergarten? She doesn’t want to get dressed, her mother is rushing about, she needs to do everything, and here this scumbag can’t tie her shoelaces in any way. How much can you carry?

And when an ideal, and in general, very obedient child went on strike and refused to attend a music school? Unthinkable! Mother even gave a belt, but this donkey doesn't care.

Will not go! I won't! Do not want!

People around you think that you have a very good character. You are sociable, friendly and flexible. But sometimes, how the harness gets under the tail. Girlfriend says: “Sometimes you start to “goat” because of a trifle.” It's a shame, some stupid all the time associations, then a donkey, then a donkey, now also "to ...".

Why does no one understand you. As a rule, you hold back, and it turns out well. But sometimes one word, a gesture, a phrase heard is enough, and you seem to be wedged. “No,” I said, “No, again No!” "Will not go! I won't! Do not want!"

You understand with your mind what you need, sometimes you really want it. For some reason, it is difficult to rebuild and almost impossible to change your mind. Probably inherited the donkey stubbornness from her grandfather. But it was easier for him, he lived in "those times" when everything was simple and transparent. And you are suffering now, when you have to spin, and every day a million cases are piled on you. And everywhere you need to be in time. "Everything! Enough! I can not! Will not go! I won't! Do not want!"


And your stubbornness creates problems for you. At home, the old mother is upset. At work, the boss hurries, interrupts when, while discussing an important contract, you suddenly begin to cling to some small details, and you are “carried” again - a lump in your throat. The system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan explains this behavior by the innate features of our psyche. There are eight psychotypes - vectors.

Who is the best here?

Our heroine is indeed by nature a golden girl, the best daughter, the best wife and mother, one of the most reliable workers and loyal friends. She is a representative of the so-called anal vector. Its essence is to bring to the ideal any commitment taken, everything will be done on time and in perfect form.

If we behave perfectly, we deserve to be praised. If we did something for 5, we should be praised and give us well-deserved fives. We do not ask for too much, give us what is necessary - the attention of parents, care, understanding, evenness in communication. Justice, equality is our everything!

I'll show you "Kuzkin's mother"!

And if mom promised to do something and didn’t do it, she didn’t praise when there was something for it. Somewhere they didn’t like it, somewhere they didn’t give it, they didn’t praise it. Negativity accumulates. Don't give me what I deserve, I'll show you! Mom is in a hurry, and I will tie my shoelaces for another hour! You are urging me on, you don’t want to listen to a sensible thought to the end, but I’m right, as you don’t understand, then we begin to cling to details, pull rubber, stubbornly irrelevant.


True, we cannot stand it when we are driven and pulled, thus knocking us out of the natural rhythm. From this we can even fall into a stupor, and then you can’t move us with a crane.

In good condition, healthy stubbornness is adherence to principles, consistency in actions, unwillingness to turn off the right path. In a bad state, stubbornness is "donkey", complicating life and creating problems. Of course, we suffer from this in the first place ourselves. Sometimes it is wiser to remain silent, to agree. But we are as we are - with a rigid psyche, it is difficult for us to rebuild.

What to do with stubbornness?

As the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan says, firstly, understand what drives you. After all, it's funny when an adult reacts like Small child. Deal with your childhood. Secondly, enter your natural rhythm of life.

When, thanks to the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan, you understand that not everyone should be smart and flexible, someone must be reliable and thorough, not everyone is destined to do ten things and do them blunder, someone must stand guard over order and stability, life becomes easier. Understanding your nature makes it possible to follow your own rhythm, think, finish, enjoy the result and receive a well-deserved reward.


Here is what people who have mastered the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan say:

“...Now, of course, the origin of insults, all those actions: “I won’t, I don’t want to, I’ll do the opposite” is clear. What was the wall of misunderstanding between me and people.
If earlier it was possible to react only with rejection, irritation, resentment, fear of the consequences of communication with other people, now instead of negative emotions there are much more positive ones. Somehow I missed the moment when there was a turning point between the thought in my head: “So this is understandable,” and the thoughts: “Here is an eggplant,” or: “What did I do wrong to him?”, Or: “A bad person,” - or: "You will still wait for me."

The stage has begun when I have a tool for a thorough and detailed preparation of myself for life from scratch and the implementation of this.
You no longer need to puzzle over why they don't understand me. I didn’t understand myself before the training ... "
Denis S., IT specialist

“... Gradually, not immediately, new and new meanings open up, patterns are understood, the spiral of events that led me to bad states begins to unwind back. At first slowly, but now my state is changing faster and faster, as if I emerge from the dark cold depths of the ocean up to find myself in the arms of a transparent emerald gentle wave, towards the sun, warmth and joy of life ... "
Natalia O., translator, engineer

“...SVP has entered into everything - communication with people, work, family, relationships with parents, attitude to a place in life, to goals. I can’t immediately recall at least one area where the influence of this knowledge has not affected. It seems to me that in importance it is akin to learning to speak - after all, after humanity has learned to communicate, little has remained at the same level ... "
Bulat S., engineer


If you want to learn more, register for free introductory online classes on Systemic Vector Psychology by Yuri Burlan.

The article was written using materials

To show stubbornness, to stubbornly disagree with smth., with smth. He is persuaded, and he is stubborn.


Explanatory dictionary of Ozhegov. S.I. Ozhegov, N.Yu. Shvedova. 1949-1992 .


See what "STOP" is in other dictionaries:

    To stubbornly, to persist, to resist, to oppose, to resist, to stand (insist) on one’s own, firmly hold on to one’s own, to remain in one’s opinion, to be strong, to balk, to bully, to grimace, to bristle, to ruffle, to be capricious, to be stubborn ... Synonym dictionary

    STRONGLY, stubborn, stubborn, inconsistent. To stubbornly disagree with something, to be stubborn. "Still stubborn, but there is hope." Pushkin. “Glasha, don’t be stubborn,” Nikolai Ivanovich begged his wife. Leikin. Dictionary… … Explanatory Dictionary of Ushakov

    get stubborn- stubborn, resist, balk, break 1219 Page 1220 Page 1221 Page 1222 Page 1223 ... New Explanatory Dictionary of Russian Synonyms

    Nesov. neperekh. To stubbornly disagree with something, to be stubborn, to be stubborn. Explanatory Dictionary of Ephraim. T. F. Efremova. 2000... Modern explanatory dictionary of the Russian language Efremova

    Stubborn, stubborn, stubborn, stubborn, stubborn, stubborn, stubborn, stubborn, stubborn, stubborn, stubborn, stubborn, stubborn, stubborn, stubborn, stubborn, stubborn, stubborn, stubborn, stubborn...

    get stubborn- to succumb, pray, pray ... Russian spelling dictionary

    get stubborn- (II), stubborn / grinning, rya / rushing, rumple ... orthographic dictionary Russian language

    I pray, you pray; nsv. Be stubborn, be stubborn. W. answer the question. Long y. before you sit down at the table. U. in front of the teacher. / About the animal. The dog was stubborn and did not want to go into the water ... encyclopedic Dictionary

    get stubborn- stubborn... Dictionary-thesaurus of synonyms of Russian speech

    get stubborn- pray, pray; nsv. a) To be stubborn, to be stubborn. Stubborn / rush to answer the question. For a long time stubborn / rush before sitting down at the table. Stubborn/mite in front of the teacher. b) ext. About the animal. The dog was stubborn and did not want to go into the water ... Dictionary of many expressions

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