The art of casual conversation with unfamiliar people is mastered only by the elite. Most people, on the other hand, at the thought that they will have to spend time in the company of strangers, and even conduct small talk in it, fall into a panic.

If you also can’t easily talk to people you don’t know well, then the advice on developing communication skills from psychologists collected in this article will definitely come in handy.

Where to start communicating with unfamiliar people and how to do it right

A good conversation is never short. But if the conversation is started incorrectly, then it can end without really starting.

If you start a conversation with a stranger with a question that can be answered in one word - yes or no, then you will not have a chance for a long conversation. Therefore, come up with a question that your potential interlocutor cannot answer unambiguously.

Psychologists advise starting communication with strangers in a company with a compliment, and then asking a question.

For example, sitting at the table, you can turn to the hostess with the following phrase: “You cooked baked fish surprisingly tasty. I didn't know about this recipe before. Can you tell me what spices you added to the dish? It is difficult to answer such a question yes or no, and besides, the hostess will surely feel goodwill towards you - after all, you appreciated her work, and people love praise.

But remember: the compliment with which you address a person must be sincere. People feel flattery and falsehood.

Watch your own articulation

Scientists have found that speaking too fast and speaking too slowly sound equally repulsive to most people.

Therefore, if you want to win the favor of unfamiliar people and start an interesting conversation with them, try to speak at an average pace, do not mumble and pronounce the words clearly.

Use gestures and gaze

• If you want to arouse sympathy for yourself in the interlocutor, do not look away during the conversation, and do not lower your eyes.
• People who hide their eyes are a priori perceived as people who are dishonest and have little to communicate with.
• Follow your own gestures: do not cross your arms and legs, such a gesture can betray your desire not to get close to the interlocutor, distrust of him.
• It is also not recommended to constantly nod and smile - the interlocutor may think that you are a hypocrite and quickly stop communicating with you.
• Do not lean towards the interlocutor, do not touch him - at different people different concept of personal space.

Appropriate topics for chatting with strangers

If you have the opportunity to get some information about the interests of your potential interlocutors - do it. If no information could be found, talk on traditional general topics:

1. About the weather, nature. Just don't start a conversation by complaining about rain, snow, or fog. Better say that the day (evening) turned out to be wonderful and it's wonderful because ... and so on.
2. Can you tell us a little about yourself. But without complaining about the hard fate and financial crisis. Also, do not go into the details of your personal life. Give the interlocutor the opportunity to also tell about his person, do not forget that people's favorite topic of conversation is themselves.
3. Talk about travel. The theme of distant lands, adventures and travel is considered both common and interesting to most people.

You should not discuss politics, religion in the company of unfamiliar people, argue about tastes in music and cinema. People have the right to their own worldview, and some careless statement may seem offensive to them, and then the conversation will definitely not work.

Being invited to the company of people for recreation, you can not always expect that all the people will be familiar to you. How to communicate with strangers?

If you are sociable by nature, then there is no need to tell how to behave with strangers, but there is a category of people who have difficulty being surrounded by little known or unfamiliar people. And to spend the evening in the company, but alone - not the best entertainment.

In order to fix communication with strangers, it’s best not to wait until they notice and get to know you, but to take the initiative yourself. For such purposes, you can involve the owner of the house and ask him to introduce you either to the whole group of people, or to each individually. But if you can’t find the owner, or the company has gathered on neutral territory, then you can approach any person who, in your opinion, is most pleasant for communication and, after greeting and introducing yourself, start a conversation on the topic that interests you (or just ask the person what exactly led him to this company).

When you start a conversation with a person, try to alternate questions about the interlocutor and his interests with stories about yourself, otherwise the conversation can turn out to be like an interrogation.

To continue the conversation, you can ask about the profession of this person, his hobbies, his preferences in choosing a vacation, express your opinion on this matter and talk about your own hobbies, about your vacation.

It does not hurt to ask a new acquaintance about his opinion about the dishes offered at the party or decorating the room where the entertainment takes place.

Do not hesitate to approach and court a stranger: give him some thing, pass a dish of food, a drink, and the like.

Don't be stingy with compliments - they can win over a person without undue tension, but avoid compliments that are too frank - this can make an unpleasant impression. Pay attention to the interlocutor's clothing accessories, express admiration and ask where the person got such charm.

Don't forget your sense of humor. But this does not mean that you need to start dating with stories of anecdotes, since not every society considers anecdotes to be decent entertainment, and you may not know what category of people you will encounter in the company. It is better to tell something comical from your life and laugh heartily again with new acquaintances.

In the company of strangers you may need your horizons, so expand it at every opportunity, so that during a difficult acquaintance you have something to talk about with a person and demonstrate some knowledge on the topic of the ensuing conversation.

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Often, when communicating with a stranger, we experience a feeling of awkwardness, especially if the conversation does not go well.

A small conversation will save only for a short time and, for sure, will end with a protracted pause.

Below we offer you a few simple ways start a conversation if you have just met a person, and brilliant topics for mutual discussion do not come to your mind.

Talk about what unites you at the moment

It could be the location, the food, the occasion you met, or even the weather. “How did you meet…?”, “What brings you here?” and other questions will help you get rid of the awkwardness that has arisen and break the impending silence. Try to be positive! You may not be witty, but the first meeting with a person is not the right time to complain about life.

Discuss the latest news

It is very useful to look at a news page on the Internet before you go anywhere. When meeting new people, you will always know what to talk about: from political events in the world to the next story from the life of a show business star.

Ask questions that cannot be answered in one word

"What are you doing lately?" - a good question if you are not addressing an office worker. This question is very convenient, since a person can choose what to talk about: work, family, or maybe a hobby. A good alternative would be to ask “What are you currently working on?”, especially if you should have known who your interlocutor works, but forgot about it.

If you still asked a question that can be answered with an unambiguous short answer, ask a follow-up question

For example, you asked "Where are you from?". An additional question might be “How would your life be different if you continued to live where you were born?”. After the question "How many children do you have?" It would be quite logical to ask “Do you raise children differently than you were raised? Are you very different in this regard from your parents? etc..

Ask questions to get to know the other person

What magazines do you subscribe to? What Internet sites do you visit on a regular basis? As a rule, such questions allow you to find out the interests and preferences of a person, which can be discussed in a further conversation.

Respond to the interlocutor's statements in the same spirit in which they sound

If your interlocutor joked, even if not funny, try to laugh. If he (she) tries to surprise you with some fact - be surprised! It is unpleasant when in a conversation a person does not react in any way to your statements. You make every effort to interest him, and he behaves as if everything you say to him is so obvious and banal that it’s just mortal boredom. You understand, after such conversations the mood deteriorates completely.

But what to do if all the above methods did not work? Alas, this also happens. Take courage and ... just admit to yourself that the conversation did not work out: “Yes, something is not being talked about,” or “I’m sure we have something in common, but for some reason I can’t figure out what it is.” Of course, this is a necessary measure, but, as experience shows, such phrases work. They liberate, and also allow you to look at an awkward situation with a share of irony and humor.

Tatiana Kochergina
Conversation "The danger of contact with strangers" ( preparatory group)

Target: review and discuss with children dangerous situations of possible contacts with strangers on the street learn how to behave properly in such situations.

Conversation flow:

Psychologist: Guys, every day we go out, go to the nursery, visit shops, someone goes to mugs, walk in the yard. Of course, there is always one of the adults next to us - mom, dad, or grandmother - one small child cannot be on the street. But sometimes it happens that a child can get lost - in a big store, or at a big street party where a lot of people have gathered.

Psychologist asks questions to children:

What kind danger waiting for us outside? (children's answers)

What should be remembered if there is no adult nearby? Who will say? (Address, phones of your relatives).

Raise your hand, how many of you remember your address? This is very good, and for the guys who do not know their address, I give the task to learn the address with their parents.

Where will you go if you get lost on the street? (children's answers)

That's right, you need to go to the nearest store, pharmacy, police station and explain to people that you are lost. They will help you get back home or meet your parents. Remember!

It is best to try to keep up and not get lost, for this you need not to be distracted, try to be close to adults.

And now let's imagine a situation that someone approached you on the street unfamiliar man and spoke to you. What do you think adults can represent danger? How do they look and talk? (Most children think that dangerous there may be people with an unpleasant appearance, slovenly dressed. They usually think that danger most often represent men (a terrible uncle, and young, well-dressed, pretty, smiling girls (boys) cannot cause harm). Guys, not always pleasant appearance and gentle voice speaks of good intentions. stranger. stranger an aunt can only seem kind and good in order to take you away with her. So let's imagine what can speak strangerand how will you behave in this situation:

Stranger man:

1. The kitten climbed into the pipe, my hand can’t get through there, please get it out.

2. The puppy crawled through a hole in the fence near those bushes. Come, call him, give me this sausage. He will listen to you.

3. Raspberries have ripened on my site, but I don’t like them. Do you want to have a good meal?

4. My son has a birthday, I want to surprise him - buy a jacket. Help me - I need to try on a jacket in the store.

Stranger woman:

5. Help me look for my little daughter in the park, she got lost in the bushes.

6. Boy, look, please, what time is it on my watch? I forgot my glasses at home.

Pretty girl 18 years old:

7. Boy, you are so cute, help me find an earring, I dropped it at the bench.

8. Boy, you're not afraid of me, help me get a balloon from a tree. I'll put you on, and you'll get it, okay?

What to do in a situation where unfamiliar a man grabs your hand and drags you into the car? (children's answers)

We found out with you how to behave: take nothing from unfamiliar, do not talk to them, do not leave with them under any pretext, no matter how they ask. And who will tell you how to ask for help from passers-by? (children's answers)Gotta scream out loud: you're a stranger, I don't know you, I won't go anywhere with you!

Guys, you go to kindergarten, where all children obey the accepted rules and daily routine: You eat, walk and work out on a schedule. There are rules for walking on the street - do not run away from your site, and most importantly: do not leave the area kindergarten, do not go out and do not run away from the gates of the kindergarten in any case! You can leave the kindergarten only when your parents come for you, with them by the hand!

Let's remember what did we talk about today:

DO NOT stay alone on the street, always stay close to adults. With requests and questions, it is better to contact a policeman, go to a store, pharmacy, etc.

DO NOT engage in conversation with strangers

DO NOT take anything from strangers

DO NOT leave with strangers no matter what they tell you!

If they try to take you away by force, resist, break out, scream: - I don't know you, let me go! These are not my parents! Help!

Game training: the psychologist takes on the role unknown woman talking to a child. We are working on an algorithm of actions.

Step 1. Assess the situation. The child must tell himself that in front of him - stranger. It doesn't matter who it is - a girl, a boy, a grandfather, a young woman - if stranger, then we behave with all of them in almost the same way.

Step 2. Keep your distance! (We help the child measure a distance of 2 meters on the floor and remember it). If a person approaches, you must leave or run away to safe direction.

Step 3. Skillfully stop the conversation. We explain to the child that it is necessary to make a decision quickly, without entering into conversation with a stranger.

Step 4. Quickly go to safe place. This means that you need to approach the familiar mothers and fathers of other children who are in the yard, either go home or run to school.

Consider an example.

Hello girl!

Hello ( assessment of the situation: human - unfamiliar; keep your distance - move away from him by 2 meters).

Please help me find my son's ball. The ball rolled into the basement, and I have poor eyesight ...

Sorry, my dad just called me (the child, not letting the man finish, quickly leaves in the direction of adults, keeping in sight stranger; being in full security, contacts the parents and tells them about the incident, verbatim retelling the conversation).

Related publications:

Summary of the lesson "Rules of conduct when communicating with strangers" Purpose: To teach children the right, safe behavior when meeting strangers. Tasks: Review and discuss with.

Conversation "Where does bad air come from" (preparatory group) Conversation Where does bad air come from. preparatory group Purpose: To form the ability to take care of one's health; define "bad"

Conversation "Orthodox holiday Easter" (preparatory group) Purpose: Formation of children's ideas about the national holiday - Bright Easter. Educator: - Hello, dear guests! Red guest -.

Conversation "Where does the Motherland begin?" Exhibition of drawings "My city". Purpose: To continue to acquaint children with their native city, expanding their knowledge of memorable ones.

Synopsis of the GCD in the second junior group "Dangerous situations: contacts with strangers on the street" Purpose: to consider and discuss with children typical dangerous situations of possible contact with strangers on the street, if measures are not followed.

An interesting topic, how to start a conversation if you came to a party somewhere, to a meeting, to a meeting, etc., and everyone around is unfamiliar. How to start a conversation and what to do? This set of phrases will help you, just remember them, say them, and then everything will go like clockwork. The main thing is not to be shy and not to be squeezed, because for this you came there and didn’t you?

Article taken from a blog about networking

Here's one of the main problems of networking: how do I just walk up to someone at an event and will I speak?

But starting a conversation is easier than you think. The fact is that no one will reject you (most likely 🙂) if you come up with a smile and say: “I am such and such, it’s nice to meet you.” In fact, others will immediately feel better, because it was not they who had to start the conversation! By the way, do not forget about the article.

How to start a conversation. Simple and effective ways

But things will certainly go even better if you have a few proven ways to "break the ice" in stock. So we've come up with a list to run through before our next meeting - some from our experience, some from expert friends. But the main thing is that all phrases have been tested in real life and work!

Classic

When in doubt about how to start a conversation, go to the basics of the basics: ask what the person is doing, why they came to this meeting, or just reach out and say hello.

1. “Hi, I don't know much here, so I'd like to introduce myself. I am (name) and I work for (company).” Well, that's it!

2. "So what do you do?" Now the other person can talk about themselves first, and you can think about how to take the conversation further or how you could collaborate.

3. "What brings you here today?"

4. "How was your day?" This is my "key" to any situation, and he has never let me down. It's simple and always effective, especially if you smile.

Place, place, place

With anyone in the room, you have at least something in common (no matter what): at least the event you both came to, the place where it is held, food and drinks. Take advantage of these resources and strike up a conversation about your surroundings.

5. If there is food at the event, I often use it to start a conversation, for example: “I can’t tear myself away from these cutlets. Have you already tried?

6. "How did you hear about this event?"

7. "It's so hot (cold) in here." It doesn't matter if this is true, the interlocutor either agrees or objects, and now you are already talking about the weather, about the climate in general, and then about business.

8. “I'm a little taken aback by the flood of information that has been thrown at us today. Did you remember anything that really made sense?

9. “What a wonderful place. Have you been here before?"

news

Another thing that unites you is the news. Something happened in the city, in the world. Of course, you shouldn't start a heated political discussion, but mentioning something simpler can help to quickly strike up a conversation.

10. "What do you think about (topic relevant to event or person)?" I may be biased, but the news is a great contact tool.

11. “I can't believe all the headlines this week. Madness, right?

12. “How did you get here? Was it difficult to get there? The method of movement from point to point is a burning topic. They will probably tell you a story.

13. "Did you watch the match yesterday?" It's a classic, but there are reasons why it's become a classic.

If you're an introvert, walking into a room full of strangers can be especially challenging. A good tactic in this case is to scan the perimeter of the room and find someone who seems a little lonely. Maybe it's a woman sitting alone and hoping someone will come and talk to her. Be that someone and try something from this list:

14. “These networking meetings are just crazy sometimes. Can I sit with you, it's a little quieter here?

15. “Since we are both here (in the cafeteria, bar, waiting room), I think I should introduce myself. I am (name) from (company)"

16. “I'm trying to force myself to meet new people here, and not talk to my usual victims who already know me. Do you mind if I introduce myself?"

17. "I hate networking." If you feel like a misanthrope soul mate, step up and start a conversation about what you both dislike so much.

amusements

18. “I can’t believe that I came to this event in this form!” A little humor and self-pity never hurts.

19. Some kind of joke - for example, "I personally came here for these cakes." Then ask the question - "How did you hear about this event?"

20. "On a scale of 1 to 'undrinkable', how awful is Chardonnay?"

21. “Honestly, the only person I know here is the bartender. We met a couple of minutes ago. Can I introduce myself?"

Whatever comes to mind (sometimes that's what it takes)

If all else fails, try going the other way.

22. “Do you happen to know a good sushi place nearby? I don’t know the area well, and I need to organize a dinner after the event.”

23. “Are you by any chance a friend of (first name)?” It doesn’t matter if you really consider them friends, the interlocutor will answer “no”, and a conversation will begin.

24. If you notice a group of people engaged in a serious conversation, come up and say: “Your place is obviously much more interesting than in the last company with which I spoke.”

25. "Is there any question I shouldn't ask because you're already sick of it?"

26. “I am working on an article about the best and the worst ways strike up a conversation. Did you manage to hear something good today or vice versa?