Only a select few have mastered the art of a casual conversation with unfamiliar people. Most people, on the other hand, panic at the thought that they will have to spend time in the company of strangers, and even have small talk in it.

If you also cannot easily talk with unfamiliar people, then the advice on developing communication skills from psychologists collected in this article will definitely come in handy.

How to start communicating with unfamiliar people and how to do it right

A good conversation is never short. But if the conversation is started incorrectly, then it may end without really starting.

If you start a conversation with a stranger with a question that can be answered in monosyllables - yes or no, then you will have no chance of a long conversation. Therefore, come up with a question that your potential interlocutor cannot answer unambiguously.

Psychologists advise starting communication with strangers in the company with a compliment, and then asking a question.

For example, while sitting at the table, you can turn to the hostess with the following phrase: “You cooked amazingly tasty baked fish. I didn't know about such a recipe before. Could you tell me what spices you added to the dish? " It is difficult to answer such a question yes or no, and besides, the hostess will surely feel disposed towards you - after all, you appreciated her work, and people love praise.

But remember: the compliment with which you address the person must be sincere. People feel flattery and falsehood.

Watch your own articulation

Scientists have found that speaking too quickly and drawing words too slowly sound equally repulsive to most people.

Therefore, if you want to win the favor of unfamiliar people and strike up an interesting conversation with them, try to speak at an average pace, do not mumble and pronounce the words clearly.

Use gestures and gaze

• If you want to arouse sympathy from the interlocutor for yourself, do not avert or lower your eyes during a conversation.
• People who hide their eyes are a priori perceived as dishonest people and little inclined to communicate.
• Pay attention to your own gestures: do not cross your arms and legs, such a gesture can betray your desire not to get close to the interlocutor, distrust of him.
• It is also not recommended to constantly nod and smile - the interlocutor may think that you are a hypocrite and quickly stop communicating with you.
• Do not bend over to the interlocutor, do not touch him - different people have different ideas about personal space.

Suitable Topics for Chatting with Strangers

If you have the opportunity to get some information about the interests of your potential interlocutors - do it. If you can't find any information, talk about traditional general topics:

1. About the weather, nature. Just don't start a conversation by complaining about rain, snow, or fog. Better say that the day (evening) turned out to be wonderful and it is wonderful because ... and so on.
2. You can tell a little about yourself. But no complaints about plight and financial crisis. Also, do not go into details of your personal life. Give the interlocutor the opportunity to also tell about your person, do not forget that the favorite topic of conversation among people is themselves.
3. Talk about travel. The topic of distant countries, adventures and travel is considered both common and interesting to most people.

You should not discuss politics, religion in the company of unfamiliar people, argue about tastes in music and cinema. People have the right to their own worldview, and some careless statement may seem offensive to them, and then the conversation will definitely not work.

When you are invited to a company of people for a vacation, you cannot always expect that all people will be familiar to you. How to communicate with strangers?

If you are naturally sociable, then there is no need to tell you how to behave with strangers, but there is a category of people who experience difficulties being surrounded by unfamiliar or unfamiliar people. And spending an evening in the company, but alone, is not the best entertainment.

In order to establish communication with strangers, it is best not to wait until they notice you and get to know you, but to take the initiative yourself. For such purposes, you can involve the owner of the house and ask to introduce you either to the whole group of people, or to each separately. But if you cannot find the owner, or the company has gathered in neutral territory, then you can approach any person who, in your opinion, is the most pleasant for communication and, after greeting and introducing himself, start a conversation yourself on the topic that interests you (or just ask the person what exactly brought him to this particular company).

When you start a conversation with a person, try to alternate questions about the interlocutor and his interests with stories about yourself, otherwise the conversation may turn out to be like an interrogation.

To continue the conversation, you can ask about the profession of this person, his hobbies, his preferences in choosing a vacation, express your opinion on this matter and talk about your own hobbies, about your vacation.

It does not hurt to ask a new friend for his opinion on the dishes offered at a party or decorating a room where the entertainment takes place.

Do not hesitate to come up and take care of a stranger: serve him some thing, give him a dish with food, a drink, and the like.

Do not skimp on compliments - they can endear a person to you without undue stress, but avoid compliments that are too frank - this can make an unpleasant impression. Pay attention to the clothing accessories of the interlocutor, express your admiration and ask where the person got such a charm.

Don't forget your sense of humor. But this does not mean that you need to start dating with stories of anecdotes, since not every society considers anecdotes to be decent entertainment, and you may not know which category of people you will encounter in a company. It is better to tell something comical from your life and laugh heartily again with new acquaintances.

In the company of strangers you may need your horizons, so broaden it at every opportunity so that during a difficult acquaintance period you have something to talk with the person and demonstrate some knowledge on the topic of the conversation that has started.

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Often, when communicating with a stranger, we feel awkward, especially if the conversation is not going well.

A small conversation will save you only for a short while and will probably end with a prolonged pause.

Below we offer you some simple ways to start a conversation if you just met a person and brilliant topics for mutual discussion do not enter your head.

Talk about what unites you at the moment

It could be a room, food, an occasion you met, or even the weather. "How did you meet ...?", "What brings you here?" and other questions will help you to get rid of the awkward feeling and break the impending silence. Try to be positive! You may not be witty, but the first meeting with a person is not the right time to complain about life.

Discuss the latest news

It is very useful to browse the news page on the Internet before going anywhere. When meeting new people, you will always know what to talk about: from political events in the world to another story from the life of a show business star.

Ask questions that cannot be answered in one word

"What have you been doing lately?" is a good question if you are not talking to an office worker. This question is very convenient, since a person can choose what to talk to him about: work, family, or, perhaps, a hobby. A good alternative is to ask "What are you currently working on?", Especially if you should have known who your interlocutor is working on, but forgot about it.

If you nevertheless asked a question that can be given an unambiguous short answer, ask the follow-up question

For example, you asked "Where are you from?" An additional question might be, "How would your life be different if you continued to live where you were born?" After the question "How many children do you have?" It would be quite logical to ask, “Are you raising your children differently than you were raising? Are you very different in this respect from your parents? " etc ..

Ask questions that allow you to get to know the interlocutor better

“What magazines do you subscribe to? What Internet sites do you visit regularly? " As a rule, such questions allow you to find out the interests and preferences of a person, which can be discussed in the future conversation.

React to the other person's statements in the same spirit in which they sound

If the other person is joking, albeit not funny, try to laugh. If he (she) tries to surprise you with some fact - be surprised! It is unpleasant when a person does not react to your statements in a conversation. You make every effort to interest him, and he behaves as if everything you say to him is so obvious and banal that it’s just boredom. You understand that after such conversations the mood deteriorates completely.

But what if all of the above methods did not work? Alas, it also happens. Have the courage and ... just admit to yourself that the conversation did not work out: "Yes, something is not going on," or "I am sure there is something in common between us, but for some reason it is not possible to find out what exactly." Of course, this is a necessary measure, but experience shows that such phrases work. They liberate, and also allow you to look at an awkward situation with a grain of irony and humor.

Tatiana Kochergina
Conversation "Danger of contact with strangers" (preparatory group)

goal: consider and discuss with children dangerous situations of possible contact with strangers on the street, teach how to behave in such situations.

Conversation progress:

Psychologist: Guys, every day we go out into the street, go to the nursery, visit the shops, someone goes to circles, we walk in the yard. Of course, there is always one of the adults next to us - mom, dad, or grandmother - little children alone cannot be on the street. But sometimes it happens that a child can get lost - in a big store, or at a big street party, where many people have gathered.

Psychologist asks questions to children:

What kind danger waiting for us on the street? (children's answers)

What should be remembered if there is no adult nearby? Who's to say? (Address, phones of their relatives).

Raise your hand, how many remembers your address? This is very good, and for the guys who do not know their address, I give the task to learn the address with their parents.

Where will you go if you get lost on the street? (children's answers)

That's right, you need to go to the nearest store, pharmacy, police station and explain to people that you are lost. They will help you get home or meet your parents. Remember!

It is best to try to keep up and not get lost, for this you need not be distracted, try to be close to adults.

Now let's imagine a situation that someone approached you on the street unfamiliar person and spoke to you. What kind of adults do you think can represent danger? How do they look, talk? (Most children think that dangerous there may be people with an unpleasant appearance, unkemptly dressed. They usually think that danger are most often represented by men (a terrible uncle, and young, well-dressed, pretty, smiling girls (boys) cannot harm). Guys, not always pleasant appearance and an affectionate voice speaks of good intentions stranger. Unfamiliar aunt can only seem kind and good, in order to take you with her. So let's imagine what might say strangerand how will you behave in this situation:

Stranger man:

1. The kitten has climbed into the pipe, my hand will not go there, get it, please.

2. The puppy climbed through a hole in the fence over there by those bushes. Come, call him, give me this sausage. He will obey you.

3. Raspberries have ripened on my site, but I don't like them. Do you want to eat your fill?

4. It is my little son's birthday, I want to surprise him - buy a jacket. Help me - I need to try on my jacket in the store.

Unknown woman:

5. Help me in the park to look for my little daughter, she got lost in the bushes.

6. Boy, please see what time is on my watch? I forgot my glasses at home.

Nice girl 18 years old:

7. Boy, you're so cute, help me find an earring, I dropped it by the bench.

8. Boy, you're not afraid of me, help me get a balloon from the tree. I'll pick you up, and you'll get you, okay?

And what to do in a situation when unfamiliar a man grabs your hand and drags you into the car? (children's answers)

We found out with you how to behave: do not take anything from strangers, do not talk to them, do not leave with them under any pretext, no matter how they ask. And who will tell you how to ask for help from passers-by? (children's answers)Gotta shout out loud: you are a stranger, I don’t know you, I’m not going anywhere with you!

Guys, you go to kindergarten, where all children obey the accepted rules and regime of the day: you eat, walk and exercise on a schedule. There are rules for a walk on the street - do not run away from your site, and most importantly: do not leave the territory of the kindergarten, do not go out or run away from the gates of the kindergarten in any case! You can leave the kindergarten only when your parents come for you, with them by the hand!

Let's remember what we talked about today:

DO NOT be alone on the street, you must always stay close to adults. It is better to contact the policeman with requests and questions, go to the store, pharmacy, etc.

DO NOT enter into conversation with strangers

DO NOT take anything from strangers

CANNOT leave strangerswhatever they tell you!

If they try to take you away by force, resist, break free, shout: - I don't know you, let me go! These are not my parents! Help!

Game training: the psychologist takes on the role unknown womantalking to the child. We are working on an algorithm of actions.

Step 1. Assess the situation. The child must tell himself that in front of him - stranger... It doesn't matter who it is - a girl, a boy, a grandfather, a young woman - if stranger, then we behave with all of them almost the same.

Step 2. Keep our distance! (We help the child measure a distance of 2 meters on the floor and remember it)... If a person approaches, you need to leave or run away to safe direction.

Step 3. Skillfully stop the conversation. We explain to the child that it is necessary to make a quick decision without entering into conversation with a stranger.

Step 4. We quickly leave for safe place... This means that you need to approach the familiar mothers and fathers of other children who are in the yard, or go home, or run to school.

Let's look at an example.

Hello girl!

Hello ( assessment of the situation: person - unfamiliar; keep the distance - move 2 meters away from it).

Please help me find my son's ball. The ball rolled into the basement, but I have poor eyesight ...

Excuse me, my dad just called me (the child, not letting the man finish, quickly goes to the side of adults, keeping in sight stranger; being in full security, contacts the parents and tells them about the incident, literally retelling the conversation).

Related publications:

Summary of the lesson "Rules of conduct when communicating with strangers" Purpose: To teach children the correct, safe behavior when meeting strangers. Objectives: To review and discuss with.

Conversation "Where does bad air come from" (preparatory group) Conversation Where Bad Air Comes From. preparatory group Purpose: To form the ability to take care of your health; give the concept of "bad.

Conversation "Orthodox holiday Easter" (preparatory group) Purpose: Formation of children's ideas about the national holiday - Bright Easter. Educator: -Hello, dear guests! For the red guest -.

Conversation "Where does the Motherland begin?" Exhibition of drawings "My city". Purpose: To continue acquainting children with their hometown, expanding knowledge about memorable ones.

Summary of GCD in the second junior group "Dangerous situations: contacts with strangers on the street" Purpose: to consider and discuss with children typical dangerous situations of possible contact with strangers on the street, if the measures are not followed.

An interesting topic, how to start a conversation if you came somewhere to a party, to a meeting, to the meeting, etc., and all around are strangers. How to start a conversation and what to do? This set of phrases will help you, just remember them, tell them and then everything will go like clockwork. The main thing is not to be shy and not to be squeezed, because for this you did not come there, right?

Article taken from the blog about networking

Here is one of the main problems of networking: how is it that I just walk up to someone at an event and will I speak?

But starting a conversation is easier than it sounds. The fact is that no one will reject you (most likely 🙂) if you come up with a smile and say: "I am such and such, nice to meet you." In fact, it will immediately become easier for others, because it was not they who had to start a conversation! Ksati, don't forget about the article.

How to start a conversation. Simple and effective ways

But things will certainly go even better if you have a few proven ways to break the ice in stock. So we have prepared a list to go over before the next meeting - some from our experience, some from the stories of expert friends. But the main thing is that all phrases have been tested in real life and work!

Classic

When in doubt about how to start a conversation, go to the basics of basics: ask what the person is doing, why they came to this meeting, or just reach out and say hello.

1. “Hi, I don't know many people here, so I would like to introduce myself. I am (name) and I work for (company). ”Well, that's all!

2. "So what are you doing?" Now the interlocutor can tell about himself first, and you - to think about how to lead the conversation further or how you could cooperate.

3. "What brings you here today?"

4. "How was your day?" This is my "key" to any situation, and he never let me down. It's simple and always effective, especially if you smile.

Place, place, place

With anyone in the room, you have at least something in common (it doesn't matter what): at least the event you both attended, the place where it is held, food and drinks. Take advantage of these resources and strike up a conversation about your surroundings.

5. If there is food at an event, I often use it to start a conversation, for example: “I can't tear myself away from these cutlets. Have you tried it yet? "

6. "How did you hear about this event?"

7. "It's so hot (cold) in here." It doesn't matter if this is actually the case, the interlocutor will either agree or object, and now you are talking about the weather, about the climate in general, and then about business.

8. “I am a little overwhelmed by the flood of information that was rained down on us today. Do you remember anything that really made sense? "

9. “What a wonderful place. Have you been here before? "

news

Another thing that unites you is news. Something happened in the city, in the world. Of course, you shouldn't start a heated political discussion, but mentioning something simpler can help you quickly strike up a conversation.

10. "What do you think of (topic relevant to the event or person)?" I may be biased, but news is a great tool for establishing contact.

11. “I can't believe all the headlines this week. Madness, isn't it? "

12. “How did you get here? Was it difficult to get there? " The way to travel from point to point is a burning topic. They'll probably tell you a story.

13. "Did you watch the match yesterday?" It's a classic, but there are reasons why it has become a classic.

If you're an introvert, walking into a room full of strangers can be especially challenging. A good tactic in this case is to look around the perimeter of the room and find someone who seems a little lonely. Maybe this is a woman sitting alone and hoping that someone will come up and talk to her. Become that someone and try something from this list:

14. “These networking meetings are sometimes just crazy. Can I sit with you, it's a little quieter here? "

15. “Since we're both here (in the buffet, in the bar, in the waiting room), I think I should introduce myself. I am (name) from (company) "

16. “I'm trying to force myself to meet new people, and not talk to my usual victims who already know me. Would you mind if I introduce myself? "

17. "I hate networking." If you sense a misanthrope soul mate, walk up and start a conversation about how you both dislike that.

Fun

18. "I can't believe I came to this event like this!" A little humor and self-mockery never hurts.

19. Some kind of joke - for example, "I've personally come here for these cakes." Then ask the question - "How did you hear about this event?"

20. "On a scale of 1 to undrinkable, how awful is this Chardonnay?"

21. “Honestly, the only person I know here is the bartender. We met a couple of minutes ago. Can I introduce myself? "

Anything that comes to mind (sometimes that's what you need)

If all else fails, try entering from the other side.

22. “Do you happen to know a good place from sushi nearby? I don't know the area well, but I need to organize a dinner after the event. "

23. “Are you by any chance a friend (first name you come across)?” It doesn't matter if you really consider them friends, the other person will answer “no” and the conversation will begin.

24. If you notice a group of people engaged in a serious conversation, come up and say: "You have clearly much more interesting here than in the last company I spoke to."

25. "Is there any question I shouldn't ask because you are already sick of it?"

26. “I'm working on an article on the best and worst ways to strike up a conversation. Have you heard anything successful today or vice versa? "