How to distinguish tyrants from normal. The main signs of despotism in the behavior of a man. "I don't like your friends and family"

Very often unfortunate in married women report that, first of all, the cause of the disorder of the family union was the tyranny of her husband: he forbids communicating with his friends, it does not allow to wear too short dresses, mercilessly makes the spouse and night to do with household chores under his sensitive leadership, in the most serious cases Allows you to handwriting. Everyone in the house should be subordinate to those rules that Tyrans himself came up with.

How to recognize a male tyrant at an early stage, when communication and further relationships are still born?

The only tyrant I admit is an inner voice.
Mahatma Gandhi

Analysis of the first dates

A man - Tyran considers himself a master in the house, any disagreement with his own position perceives in the bayonets, ready to even raise his hand to his own wife, just to prove his power.

Already at the beginning of your dating, it can be noted: if the cavalier on the first dates decides, where to go, what a movie to see what ice cream to eat and is not even interested, and His partner is pleased with such a turn of events - it is necessary to be an insection, perhaps it is Most despot.

Of course, if the girl clearly does not want to go to the film "Bloody Chainsaw Massaw" and expresses a protest, at the beginning of relationship it can and give up, but the face of such a tyrant will be very dissatisfied, and he will hide angrily on the unfortunate.

• The best way: A man sincerely wondered how his girl would like to spend time.
  If disagreements occur, the couple is looking for a compromise.
• The worst option: A man decides himself and deliberately ignore any objections.
  It turns out "I cry money for the cafe, therefore, I decide what I eat."

How to recognize home tyrana: the family will show everything about him

It should be remembered that no character is formed by itself.

Getting ready for a serious relationship with a man, carefully look at him: tyranny sons are often brought up in incomplete families, without a father, where mother from early childhood shifted on their shoulders all men's work.

Also, selfish tyras can be the only child in the family, surrounded by attention and care: such children are accustomed to that all their whims are performed and cannot imagine what can be otherwise.

Analysis of the family election partition will help in many ways to understand. Look at how he behaves with relatives: whether the mother is not rude, it may be, that alone is afraid in the presence of a son to say at least a word. Or, on the contrary, he morally suppresses him, orders, commands - in this case, there is a possibility that having escaped from under the maternal wing, such a man will decide to self-realize due to the partner.

• The best way: Friendly relationships in the family, the atmosphere of mutual respect, worship the elders, but without improving.
• The worst option: Mother-despot or Son-tyrant can be seen immediately: other family members are afraid of them, they suppress the will of others. While the feeling is not strong, and the situation is not the heart, but the mind, from such people should be held away.

Look at his friends

The pleasures of the Beloved may involuntarily tell a lot about those of his features that are still hidden from the girl: see how he communicates with friends, it is possible that your chosen one is the leader, decides what to do and indicates to friends, not even interested in their opinion. And those in habit agree.

Either, on the contrary, if a man in the company does not enjoy respect, that is, the likelihood that it will be compensated for, he will be due to a girlfriend.

• The best way: Either equality in the company where everyone's opinion is taken into account, or your partner is the leader, but listening to friends and is ready to adjust the plans.
• The worst option: Friends in all obey a man, it became a habit, his own opinion is not expressed.

Video: How to recognize Musha Tirana and Energy Vampire

Outcome

To recognize the Tirana man is easy at the first stages of dating: it is necessary to carefully look at his attitude towards you (whether your needs are interested in whether he is ready to give up), to family and friends.

Be sure to remember that an adult is impossible to change, it is unlikely that the future husband-tyrant because of great love will be able to give up the habit of command. Communicating with this person need to be aware that you are thinking of yourself for the role of eternal subordinate.

Although the times of unconditional dominance of a man in society have long passed, inside the family it is often possible to meet with a real tyranny from the "strong half". Externally, such a marriage may even look like an equal Union of partners in which everyone has its own rights and opportunities for self-realization. But in fact, everything is much more difficult: the husband-tyrant is able to completely suppress the woman and turn her life into existence. Therefore, every girl is desirable to know how to recognize the future homely despot and protect against him.

Signs of a despot in a man

It is very difficult to distinguish tyrant, usually his worst features begin to manifest after the wedding. Usually girls marry "thorough and economic, reliable and able to protect", but are in captivity of the despot. But there are signs that will allow you to suspect the worst in advance:

• Frequent and grounded criticism, which can suit the literally everything: manners dress, talk and move, appearance, abilities and achievements. At first she is unobtrusive, a man can call the girl with a silly, inexperienced or laughing at her hobbies, work. She can even disguise as a desire to help the "unfortunate silly". Gradually, tyrant forms a sacrifice of his own insolvency and literally "kills" her self-esteem.
• Restriction of external contacts. The man begins to control the circle of communication of the chosen and decides, with whom and when to communicate. At first, he can motivate it by the fact that friends "pull her down", and she is better than them, etc. Gradually, a woman remains alone and forced to communicate only with her husband, which makes it even more dependent.

At first, Tyran may seem causing and enjoyable

At the stage of courting, future despots seem very careful, they surround their attention, make surprises, swear in love, often call and write SMS with confessions. Unfortunately, these are not signs of true attachment, but the desire to control the girl's free time. In addition, many tyrants of pathologically jealous. They can find in an even place, or come up with them themselves, and then roll the scandal.

How does a husband become a tyrant?

If the girl does not react to the first signs of tyranny from the cavalier, she gradually falls into the Kabalon, where all the great humiliation is waiting for it. But their intensity is usually growing gradually, the victim can not feel the victim, as the will loses the will in the hands of the manipulator.

After a while, the woman usually notices:

• Husband is unrealistic to please, he criticizes literally everything is food, the situation in the house and her behavior in bed.
• He no longer asks, but requires and orders, not paying attention to the timid attempts to disagree. At first it looks like a manifestation of a strong male character, but over time the woman simply loses the right to vote.
• The spouse restricts material waste, movement and development, even if a woman has its money. By the way, many tyranans themselves persuade his wife to quit work, promising to provide a family, and then reproach it in the inability to earn on themselves and dependencies.
• She herself already feels a weak, nicchonny and not able to live without a husband.

At this stage, it can be said that Tyrant has already achieved his own - the self-assessment of the victim is broken, it is not capable of active actions and will endure everything.

Fear and powerlessness of the victim - the main goal of Tirana

Further violence can continue in psychological form or go into physical impact. A woman arms with such behavior and only trying to calm him. In this, the husband does not feel any remorse, believing that he does not hurt his wife, but punishes and raises, and does it exclusively for her good. Often Tyran justifies himself, saying that "she herself brought to such." Worst of all that usually the victims are confident that they really deserve such an attitude. But you need to remove pink glasses and take the fact that this man is tyrant and despot, and you have to fight.

What can be done to protect yourself

If you are trapped at the despot, and have already realized it, it comes time to make a decision - to leave or stay. Most women are very difficult to decide on a divorce, as their self-esteem and decision-making ability is a completely broken cruel husband. But you need to understand that it is almost impossible to remake Tirana. It will unpuck until the last.

It is not easy to quit a despot - he will try to keep a woman, can become too aggressive, and even then the life of his victim will be in danger. In any case, it is necessary to plan everything and well prepare. Get rid of Iga, who has been forming for years, will be very difficult.

How to go right?

It's not easy to get away from Tirana. Therefore, it is better to prepare everything in advance. It is recommended to run away into the unknowns only when a man is not limited to moral violence and applies physical impact.

If your life and health still does not threaten anything, you can spend some time to preparing care. But it is impossible for the husband to suspect that you want to throw it. He will try to take any steps, just to prevent this.

Go better when the husband is not at home

Most tyrants limit their victim in finance, so you have to try to try to gather money. There will have to find additional earnings, but so that he does not know about it. If you do not work, you will need to work. Husband can be said that you do it for him so that he can rest more.

Start talking with other people. Tirana usually limit the contacts of the wing, so they do not have girlfriends, and relatives are not aware of their family problems. Do not be afraid to seem intrusive, find a person who can be believed to tell about their situation and ask for help. Suitable as support psychological and, possibly material.

If you still doubt whether to leave Tirana, talk to those who have already decided on it. Almost all women regret that they did not make it much earlier.

Find a housing in advance. Very well, if you can move to someone from relatives or friends who can support and protect if necessary. Plan everything so that during your care a husband was not at home. The power of tyrants above their wives is very strong. It can easily convince you that it is not necessary to leave anywhere, or even apply physical violence for retention.

Often attempts to leave provoke violence bursts

Be sure to apply for divorce. It is advisable to consult with a lawyer. He will tell you how to split property and get alimony for children (if they are). He will also advise the methods of protection from her husband in the event of a threat.

How to get rid of violence if you have to stay?

Sometimes the situation develops so that a woman has to stay with Tyran, most often because of his good material situation. In such a situation, you need to be ready to fight for your freedom of will and dignity.

You can not leave with impunity any manifestation of disrespect for you. If you have a timid character, you will have to "grow fangs". Many tyranans are in fact panties and self-affirmation due to the humiliation of a weaker woman. It is worth only to fight, how they immediately retreat.

Always need to be ready to fight

In no case cannot be succumbed if the husband tries to limit your contacts, especially with relatives. He can call them unpleasant, argue that they use you or its position. But these are your loved ones, and you have the right to see them, whoever they are. They can help, if you need to urgently leave Tirana.

Never forget about children. They are an innocent victim of your conflict. Staying daily in a house with a disadvantaged emotional environment, it will be difficult for them to learn how to build the right relationship. Many women suffer tyrants "For the sake of children", not understanding that they may have been better in incomplete and poor, but a happy and calm family.

Always keep your social service or charitable organizations at your hand, which help women in a difficult situation. Do not be afraid to seek help, including psychological.

Always try to develop, follow yourself and not lose self-esteem. The scored and humiliated victim is something that Tirana needs. Before the beautiful and self-sufficient woman, he can save.

If you notice the characteristic features of the future homely despot, you need to try to prevent tyranny. For this, psychologists advise:

• Always try to earn a living. A woman who can afford to live without a husband, less likely to endure humiliation.
• Do not allow you to manipulate. You should not feel guilty because of communication with friends or colleagues, and your relatives do not have to like a guy. But he must show respect for them.
• Immediately give my husband to understand that I do not allow yourself to humiliate yourself, and the cruelty from him will not remain unpunished. His unsightly acts can be betrayed publicly to protect you, if necessary, protect you, and he knew that you would not be afraid to call him responsibility.
• Do not hold on to memories. Many women remember how thought was the husband earlier, and hope that everything will come back. But it is necessary to evaluate only what you have at the moment.
• Do not be afraid to lose it. No love justifies the broken life, your and children. If a man does not agree to respect you and perceive as an equal partner - it's not worth grieving about it.

In most cases, the only way to protect yourself from home tyrant is a divorce and a complete break of relationships, as it is too difficult to change or re-educate the man. But usually the victims are so larger that they cannot have decent resistance, and blame themselves in any problems. Therefore, it is very important at the first attempts of psychological violence to respond correctly and stop them at the very beginning. And if you could not do this on time, gather the will "in a fist", remember that life is one, take advantage of any help, which is only possible and rescue!

Today, in family psychology, such a concept as "man-tyrant" is discussed. Some mistakenly consider the main distinguishing feature of the aggressor - physical mockery over his spouse, but, in fact, these people masterfully own psychological violence, literally destroying the person and the will of their partners.

Usually tyranny control all steps, actions, and sometimes even thoughts of their second half. At the beginning of the relationship, they rarely show themselves in a similar way. Just, on the contrary, on the first dates they behave quite courageously and cause only positive emotions. However, after a while, their true essence begins to manifest.

Such men believe that no one has the right to tell them "no" or to get away from them. Therefore, it is very important to understand in a timely manner that you live with the aggressor.

How to recognize Tirana

There are several explicit signals that the tyran is in front of you:

1. Pay attention to what he talks about other people (his friends, family and especially about former women). If the cavalier constantly blames them in all "mortal sins" and characterizes them not the most flatter epithets, then with the greatest probability you will fall into the same list. Judge yourself, because there can be such that all people who encountered on his paths were such villains. Basically, people remember their previous passages at least something good. But, tyranans are so confident that he never blames anything.
2. Learn to distinguish your care for you and the requirement of a full daily report. Under the guise of what he is experiencing for how your day went or for your well-being, Tiran will literally interrogate you and demand to describe your day in the smallest details (where I went to whom I called how much time I spent in the store, etc.) .
3. The same, you can say if the cavalier after several dates begins to demand from you to stop any communication with your friends regardless of their gender. The thing is that he wants to get power over you and become by and large your only "owner."
4. Also, the aggressor can call you every 5 minutes. Some confuse such behavior with severe love, but with the most likely it is just another attempt to control.
5. Pay attention to his statements about colleagues and superiors. If Kavaler constantly speaks of injustice, a small salary, a terrible team, etc., then this once again proves his self-confidence.
6. If your cavalier takes any decisions yourself, without even asking for your opinion or elementary council, this indicates his desire for authoritarian politics in family relations. Accordingly, you will never have the right to vote.

Of course, some "symptoms" are simply not manifested, and on some things a woman elementary do not pay attention. However, if you were in Tiran's networks and realized it after marriage, you need to act very carefully. The aggressors can really apply and physical strength (up to threats of life).

How to get away from Tirana

First of all, it is necessary to calm down and be patient, as an aggressive man will make every effort so that the woman does not leave him anywhere. In your interest, make it so that it until the last moment he guess that you intend to stop family relationships.

Important! However, if physical violence (has already begun in your relationship, then you need to flee such a man as quickly as possible.

If there is no physical interaction, and the spouse is still limited to moral humiliation, it is recommended to act gradually, thinking about every step.

• in no case do not tell a man about the intention of divorce and part. In this situation, you will only call aggression that can pour out more serious complications. Therefore, it is better to behave "as if nothing has happened" (especially if there are children in the family who can also suffer);
• try to think about your financial position. As a rule, tyrants do not allow their women to work and the whole family budget they keep in themselves. Accordingly, to get away from such a "comrade", you need to consider where you will live, and what you will exist (at least first time). For example, you can start working out, explaining this by the fact that you just want to invest your share with family budget. Tell me that you feel very obliged to him. As a rule, tyras are very greedy people, so any opportunity to gain extra money for them will be very good news and you will not be suspended in an attempt "escape."

An equally important advice is to try to communicate with women who have found themselves in the same difficult situations. However, it is not necessary to contact the family (brothers, sisters or friends) of the aggressor. It is possible that they do not recognize about the tyranny of their relative.

February 6, 2014, at 13:17

When entering into relations with men, many women hopes for a romantic, excellent life, and instead become victims of real despots. Unfortunately, male despotism is very common, but not everyone can be calculated immediately when you meet. Nevertheless, such a type of nature and character still quickly manifests itself. Therefore, each lady is useful to know the main signs of despotism, so that, noticing them in his man, will leave him on time.

How can I define a despot? First, such a man never recognizes that he is wrong. Inpass always his woman. Therefore, he has a complete right to raise his voice, and then the hand. Moreover, the despot sincerely believes that it is this way that this girl brought him to such a state. Desphots are never apologized, but even if they ask for forgiveness, they necessarily remind that, yet, if a woman did not behave in a similar way, nothing would happen. By the way, in order to know exactly whether the man is despot, pay attention to the reaction of the people around. If they all agree with the fact that the girl did wrong, perhaps it is really in it. But if people are clearly perplexed, looking at the situation, it means that the guy is still despot and it is better to leave him.

Despota never change until they are aware of what they are. And this happens very rarely and before it has to work with a psychologist for a long time. In other cases, they continue to bend their line, being completely confident right. For example, despot will never understand and does not recognize the fact that he brought the woman to hysterics. Such a man will be sure that she plays the public or hesitate herself. Also, despoty love to insult and humiliate their women. If the girl begins to cry, offended, blaming him in mockery, a man will look at her, as for a complete fool and says that she simply does not understand jokes and does not know how to treat him with humor. At the same time, the despot will never tolerate such an attitude towards himself, in particular in public. Often, the despotus is one of the characteristics of very compacted people. They assert themselves at the expense of others, so any criticism in their direction is perceived very painfully.

Despota love to put pressure on their women through their appearance and any complexes. Such a man needs to feel that the lady's unsure of himself next to him, since so much easier to manipulate. When a woman constantly feels his insignificance, she is more obedient and protests less. That is why despotes never say compliments, they always see flaws, and so that the girl did not do, they still remain dissatisfied.

Communication with despotes is fraught with complete self-destruction and destruction of itself. Therefore, if you see that the man comes to the foregoing description - leave him immediately, so that it will not turn into his unfortunate and brown puppet, which he will just play.

The main reason for the occurrence of tyranny in the nature of the man is the wrong education of it in the family, as well as the emergence of insecurity.

Men - tyrants often suffer from inferiority complex

Despotic attitude towards his wife is an attempt to assert their account. Next to a confident, interesting and independent woman, they will not be able to show their tyranny. Most likely, such a woman will cause respect for them.

The main goal of Tirana is to suppress the self-assessment of the victim, as well as the formation of fear and helplessness

Signs of Men Tiran in Relations

At the very beginning of the relationship, in the future, the man tyrant does not show himself and may even seem courtesy and pleasant, it seems very caring, he surrounds you with attention, makes surprises, swear in love, often calls. Unfortunately, these are not signs of true attachment, but the desire to control the girl's free time.

However, after a certain time, when your relationships go to a more serious level of a man with signs of tyranny, everything can manifest itself. It is important here attentive and "without pink glasses" to look at your satellite.

What can you alert in a relationship? First, pay attention to the manifestations of jealousy by your partner, and on the frequency of these manifestations. If this jealousy is truly caused by your incorrect behavior with the opposite sex, the jealousy may be justified. Jealousy Men Tirana - principled to your surroundings.

He begins to jealous of you absolutely to every person to whom you show interest or emotions.Moreover, jealous, the man tyrant can somehow hint to you that he does not like your communication with this person. In addition, many tyrants of pathologically jealous. They can find signs of treason on an even place, or come up with them themselves, and then roll the scandal.

Even, the future tyrant can manifest themselves in criticizing you and your environment.

Pay attention to his attempts to criticize your loved ones, or your hairstyle, pay attention even to jokingly - an offensive tone of your satellite.

Criticia Tirana is unobtrusive and can even be masked by the desire to help you, "unfortunate silly". Gradually, the man tyrant forms a sacrifice of his own insolvency and literally "kills" her self-esteem.

If the girl does not react to the first signs of tyranny from his boyfriend, she gradually falls into Kabalu, where all the great humiliation and insults are waiting for it. But the intensity is usually growing gradually and imperceptibly.

If you are married to Tiran? Signs of her husband - Tirana

Husband - Tyran may look like an exemplary and caring family man, sincerely loving his wife. However, the care of her husband - Tirana does not make his wife happy. She feels the depressed and unhappy. In this case, we are talking about moral violence, which destroys the personality of a woman is not less than physical.

No matter how successful and attractive girl before marriage, the husband gradually tends her to think that she is not needed by anyone, gradually limits the circle of his wife's friends.

Husband - Tyrans endlessly loads his spouse with homemade, so that she lacked her time even on elementary care.

All these measures lead to the fact that the woman is exhausted, stops monitoring itself and refuses any exits in the light. And if everything is the same, you have the power of the will to resist Tiran, and defend your interests, for example, go to visit to a friend or meeting with classmates, then you are pushing on the wall of reproaches, hysterics and serious critics in your direction.

Husband - Tiran is unrealistic to please, he criticizes literally everything.
Husband - tyrant usually does not ask, but requires and orders, not paying attention to your attempts to disagree. Husband - Tyran limits material waste, any of your movement and development.

Many tyrana persuade his wife to quit work, promising to provide a family, and then reproach her in the inability to earn. Year after the year of living together with Tiran, you gradually lose confidence and our own forces, feel weak, indecisive and not able to live without a husband.

We can say that the husband - Tyran has already achieved his own - the self-esteem of the victim is broken, it is not capable of active actions and will endure everything.

Another Tiran's goal is to sow a sense of guilt

Husband - Tyran reproaches his wife in almost everything: that she doesn't do everything around the house, as he asks that he pays a lot of time to his girlfriend, etc., etc.

Husband - Tyran begins to spill their negative emotions on his wife. Thoughtful and loving the husband once, feeling permissiveness, loses control over himself. He can morally mock the victim, humiliate it for any occasion and even apply violence. Turning to this position, even a strong and positive girl starts breaking.

The destruction of a person makes it unable to protect himself. It is impossible to bring this situation. We must try to recognize Tiran in the earliest stages of relationships.

Further violence can continue in psychological form or go into physical impact. At the same time, the husband does not feel any remorse, believing that he does not hurt his wife, but punishes and raising, and does it exclusively for her good.

Often Tyran justifies himself, saying that "she herself brought to such." Worst of all that usually the victims are confident that they really deserve such an attitude. If you live and suffer mocking husband - Tirana, then you need to seriously think about the feasibility of preserving such a marriage.