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Here are the most full list Homer Simpson quotes throughout 25 seasons of The Simpsons.
Common Phrases of Homer
However, inedible items may also be mentioned: "Mmm... organized crime...", "Mmm... a hero scorched by flames, smelling of smoke...", "Mmm... Rotten fruit". At the same time, saliva flows from his mouth.
Rare Quotes
“I promised a lot, so I am a good father.
- I'm protective. And… a drinker.
Sourced from wikiquote.org
It is foolish to listen to an outside surgeon about how to perform an operation on yourself.
Sometimes, being in bed in the morning, I think that no force will make me get up. After the wet puddle formed under me, the thought of my erroneous judgments begins to creep in before me. - Homer Simpson
I like to watch the process itself, although many prefer to participate in person.
Children are taught that success in life can only be achieved through hard work and knowledge. We add some exception - the radio announces the winning lottery numbers that fell to the lucky ones, who will now cease to participate in the general queue for happiness and success.
Simpson: Our children think that vampires are real inhabitants of the earth. These characters were invented by storytellers, as well as elves, goblins and Eskimos.
An attempt is already a failure, but not torture.
You can be a professional, although there is always the best specialist. They are few, but these people exist.
Children are like monkeys. Lots of noise, little sense.
Statistics take everything literally. 96% of the population does not think so.
Beer is my weakness, like an Achilles' heel or heart.
Read the continuation of G. Simpson's beautiful quotes on the pages:
I'm not going to lie: being a father is not easy. Not like a mother.
Trying is the first step to failure.
Look, people always have some statistics for everything. This is known to 14% of the population.
There are no bad donuts.
You shouldn't grieve. People are constantly dying. Who knows, maybe you will wake up dead tomorrow.
Even if you borrow something from a neighbor, it's still best to do it under the cover of darkness.
You can work multiple jobs at the same time and still be lazy.
We don't need a psychiatrist. We ourselves know that we have a child with a shift.
You can be great at something, but there will always be a million people doing it even better.
Call your third offspring simply Child. Believe me, this will save you from unnecessary confusion.
Public transport is for jerks and lesbians.
Understand, there is a little Homer Simpson in each of us.
I have climbed the highest mountains, descended into the lowest valleys. Traveled to Africa and Japan. Even flew into space. But now, without hesitation, I would trade it all for something sweet.
Give a man a fish and he will eat all day. Teach a man how to fish and he will certainly get hooked on the eyelid or something like that.
Of course, dad did a lot of good things in life, but now he is old, and old people are absolutely useless.
I like the beer to be cold, the TV to be loud, and homosexuals to burn in hell.
My mother once said one thing that haunts me. She said: Homer, you are a big disappointment. She meant something, God rest her soul.
From now on, I will look forward to everything. My God! Tomorrow there will be a special promotion: two piano benches for the price of one! Oh-oh-oh, maybe tomorrow!
In France, no one calls me a fat jerk. Here I am a foodie!
Homer: I came here to be experimented on and electrocuted, not insulted!
Fool and money part quickly. I would pay a lot to someone who would explain this pattern to me.
You can't fool your own mother. She cannot be fooled even on the first of April, even if you have an electric fooling chair with you.
If you really want to achieve something in life, you have to work hard on it. And now it's quiet: the winning numbers of the lottery will be announced now.
You can't always blame yourself for something. Blame yourself once and move on with your life.
And when will I finally understand that the answers to life's questions are not at the bottom of the bottle. They are on TV!
You can't bring a dog back with tears. Unless the tears smell like dog food. So you can sit at home, gobbling up can after can of dog food until the tears start to give away with it, so that the dog can smell the smell from the street and come back on its own. Or you can just go look for it.
If you get mad at me every time I do stupid things, I'll have to stop doing stupid things!
If you're happy and you know it, swear.
God bless atheists!
Life is just a bunch of crap that goes on.
Smart Italians? Something is wrong here.
Compromise? The wrong family was attacked!
I'm a white male between 18 and 49. And everyone listens to me, no matter what nonsense I spout.
You know, guys, you can laugh, but it's much more pleasant for me to feel the sweet breath of a sleeping wife around my neck than to stuff dollar bills into some unknown lady's thong.
Kill the boss?! Will my hand rise to fulfill the American dream?
Education won't help me. Every time I remember something, it takes up space, pushing something else out of my brain. Like the time I took a winemaking class and forgot how to drive.
Homer: Now walking is my beer and health is my hangover!
The facts are absolutely meaningless. With facts, you can prove any fiction!
I won't go to bed with a woman who thinks I'm lazy. If so, let him move the sofa in the living room and make the bed. I want to sleep.
It takes two to lie. One lies, the other listens.
I see the smiles of my children. And I understand that they started something bad.
You can get a lot of things for free by mentioning it in an interview with some magazine. Cookies Chips Ahoy!
It's not easy to be torn between a pregnant wife and an unstable child, but I still carve out my eight hours of watching TV.
God can't be everywhere, can he?
I think Mr. Smithers hired me for being motivated. All colleagues say that now they have to work twice as much!
I get tired of dancing with sexual overtones.
Let the Simpsons be shown on a stupid channel, but they show!
Son, you say asshole like it's a bad thing.
In sports, it's not about winning. The main thing is to be able to get drunk!
The only important thing in life is to be popular.
Ha ha ha! My daughter thinks vampires are real creatures! Yes, they are fictional, like elves, gremlins or Eskimos.
To be loved, you have to be good to everyone every day. To hate - you don’t have to strain at all.
God bless atheists!
No matter how powerful and amazing it is, I will not tolerate assaults even from the ocean!
Radiation only kills those who are afraid of it.
Calm down, don't panic. If anything, I'll make money by selling one of my livers. Both are useless to me.
A nuclear reactor is like a woman. You just need to read the instructions and press the right button in time.
Children is our future. That is why they must be stopped today.
Beer... My only weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will.
Catholicism has more stupid rules than video rentals.
Sometimes I am able to kill in a fit of anger or to prove my case. But I'm not some maniac.
Old people don't need company. They need to be isolated and studied to find out if they contain any substances useful to us.
I see no reason to leave the house. We still come back every time.
Women are like beer. They look good, they smell good, and you're willing to step over your own mother to get them.
Let's drink to alcohol - the source and solution of all our problems!
When it comes to compliments, women become irrepressible blood-sucking monsters and demand more, more and more. But if their desire is satisfied, the payment will be sweet.
My favorite book: So, you decide to arbitrarily connect to cable TV.
Unguarded breakfast is the sweetest taboo.
All my life I dreamed of one thing - to achieve all my goals.
My father never believed in me. I will not repeat his mistakes: from today I will be softer with my son. And tougher with my father.
In my house we obey only the laws of thermodynamics.
Singing is the lowest form of communication.
Homer, (VIII century BC), ancient Greek poet, author of the epic cycles "Iliad" and "Odyssey"
God finds the culprit.
The woman is adorned with silence.
Whatever word you say is the answer you will hear.
The leaves in the oak woods are like the sons of men.
Men get tired of sleeping, making love, singing and dancing faster than they get tired of war.
There is nothing worse than a woman.
There is nothing worse than wandering in foreign lands.
Do not impose services against your will.
Beautiful is short lived.
Hundreds of warriors cost one skillful healer.
That one is hateful to me like Hell's gates are hateful
He who hides one thing in his soul says another.
One should be spoken about, and the other should be silent.
I am for you, you are for me.
Nothing on earth gives a vigorous husband such a great
Glory, like light legs and strong muscles ...
Immortal gods cannot be strangers to each other,
Even if the great space separated them.
Very stupid and boring
Again to tell what we already told once.
We must observe moderation in everything;
It's bad if we are a guest who would like to stay,
We urge on the road, and we keep the guest, hurrying on the road:
Be kind to those who remain, say hello to those who leave.
There is everything for everything: its hour for conversation, its hour for peace.
Everything on earth changes, everything is transient; all the same,
Whatever blooms or lives on earth, a person is fleeting ...
All on the abundant earth, the inhabitants of the people are kind,
Singers are highly honored by all; taught them myself
Singing Muse; her lovely singers noble tribe.
The language of man is flexible; there is no end to speeches in it.
A fool knows only what has happened.
Lawless deeds, however, the blessed gods do not like:
There is only one truth and the good deeds of people are pleasing to them ...
Think ... yourself, but listen to someone else's advice.
... It is more desirable to meet
Death, than to mourn the living for the loss of what is so strong
We were attracted every day ...
… When
Evil, then it is not easy to fix it.
Of course, being a king is not bad; wealth in the royal
The house accumulates soon, and he himself is in honor of the people.
Beauty fades from eternal sorrow.
Of course, he will not tell lies, gifted with a great mind.
I hate as much as the gates of Hades
He who hides one thing in his soul says another.
You can get whatever you want - both cows and thick-fleeced sheep,
You can buy golden tripods, golden-maned horses, -
Life is impossible to get back.
... They bring reproach and shame upon themselves
People who plunder the home and wealth of the absent,
We are soon tired of cold grief.
Unspeakable happiness settles there,
Where they live unanimously, maintaining domestic order,
Husband and wife, to prudent people for the joy ...
Your own glory.
... Unbearably homeless wandering; severe
An empty stomach torments with care at all times
The poor who are destined to roam the land without shelter.
Nice finished work.
... Against many and the most
The strong are powerless when they are alone: their number is so great.
... sacred
By deed we always bring upon ourselves certain death...
The power of wine is unspeakable: it is loud and smartest
It makes you sing and laugh immensely and even dance;
Often inspires a word that is better
It was to save yourself.
There is nothing sweeter than our homeland and our relatives,
Even if they lived luxuriously in a rich monastery
We are on a foreign side, far from our dear parents.
The word you say is the answer you will hear.
The change of leaves is like the change of human generations.
He is unreasonable, he is not able to distinguish his benefits,
Who's on the wrong side with a friendly host come out
Will decide to fight; Surely he will hurt himself.
Cowards alone retreat dishonorably from battle.
The one who is brave in spirit is obliged in every battle
Stand firm - whether he strikes, or he is struck.
The painful lot of sad slavery having chosen a man,
Zeus destroys the best valor in him.
