Man, individual and personality are the key concepts of psychology, which are no less ...
Today the Orthodox celebrate Forgiveness Sunday... Immediately after it, on Monday, Great Lent begins - it, in turn, continues until Easter on April 8.
Forgiveness Sunday means the last day of Maslenitsa. In turn, Pancake Week precedes Lent. To get the dates you need, you need to subtract 48 days of fasting from Easter, and the day before the start is Forgiveness Sunday. Easter in 2018 is celebrated on April 8th. Thus, Forgiveness Sunday 2018 falls on February 18th.
What holiday is it
Forgiveness Sunday is a day on which you need to let go of all grievances, build relationships with family, friends and acquaintances, colleagues, neighbors and other people. All conflicts must be resolved.
This is a day of spiritual cleansing, preparation for Fasting. Therefore, on Forgiveness Sunday, it is categorically impossible:
It is a great sin to refuse anyone asking for forgiveness,
think bad
enter into conflicts with anyone, get angry, quarrel and resent,
engage in physical labor: in particular to clean and wash. An exception is cooking and caring for pets,
eat meat (in principle, from meat products it should have been on the first day of Maslenitsa), and also get drunk,
leave food in the evening,
go to bed late, because after midnight it is already Great Lent.
All this is needed in order to prepare for Great Lent, to cleanse your soul of negative thoughts and emotions.
Forgiveness Sunday: what to do
On this day, you need to try to be as sincere as possible. If the language has long asked for some words to loved ones, then just on the last day of Maslenitsa they need to be said.
On Forgiveness Sunday, you should definitely try to go to church services. This is a special day for Orthodox Christians, because the Sermon on the Mount is read in the churches, and during the service the priest asks for forgiveness from his parishioners.
And, of course, yourself, ask for forgiveness from your family and friends. To do this, you do not need to list your sins and grievances, but just say: "Forgive me!"
At the same time, on Forgiveness, they ask for forgiveness not only from the living, but also from deceased friends and relatives. It is enough to do this mentally, praying for the peace of their souls. On the evening of Forgiveness Sunday, it was even customary for the Slavs to go to the cemetery to remember the dead and say goodbye to deceased relatives. It was believed that those on this day "feasted" with loved ones on Maslenitsa.
Also on this day there is a tradition to go to the bathhouse (in the modern version - to take a bath or shower) in order to wash off all sins, including those accumulated during the Maslenitsa festivities, because they are sometimes accompanied by excesses.
Forgiveness Sunday: what you can eat
On the last day of Maslenitsa, it is customary to gather at the table with the whole family. It is worth noting that in the old days they sat down at the table 7 times - according to the number of days of the Maslenitsa week. Moreover, believers have a special menu on this day:
Breakfast - pancakes;
lunch - pancakes and dairy products: cottage cheese, cheese, butter, sour cream, etc. You can serve dishes from fish, vegetables and eggs. But you can't eat meat anymore;
Dinner: traditionally, scrambled eggs were served last on Forgiveness Sunday evening. Why was this particular dish served last on Forgiveness Sunday? So the housewives found use for the eggs and milk left over from cooking pancakes.
On Monday, it was already impossible to finish eating leftovers, so all that remained of food on Sunday evening was burned or fed to pets. If there are no pets, you can feed the homeless.
Forgiveness Sunday Story
It is believed that the origins of Forgiveness Sunday lie in the traditions of Egyptian monks. Each year, they went one by one for 40 days in the wilderness to strengthen their faith and stay away from earthly temptations. Before leaving, they asked for forgiveness from their loved ones, as they could not return back from the desert due to any dangers.
Forgiveness Sunday is also called the day of Adam's exile. It is believed that one of the main reasons for the expulsion from Paradise was that Adam refused to confess to committing a sin. The Bible says that a person who does not forgive other people and does not ask for forgiveness himself will not receive God's forgiveness.
Happy Sunday greetings
Today I will ask everyone for forgiveness
For phrases, actions, my behavior.
And if you keep an offense in your soul,
Please, forgive me this offense!
And may souls be purified on this day,
After all, rubbish is not needed by anyone in this life.
May God forgive us all sins.
I wish that He saved everyone from troubles!
A bright holiday has come!
This sunday
Before God you have
I am sorry.
Let's forget all the bad
And leave behind
Let only bright moments
Waiting on the path of life!
I'm sorry for everything
What could offend you.
May God forgive, as they say.
Forgive me now.
I forgive you for all the years
I do not hold grudges
And if you forgive me,
"Thank you" I will tell you!
May with forgiven Sunday
All offenses go away.
Forgive me today.
I will forgive. We'll be quits.
May spring warm you
This day is so good
And luck, happiness, joy
They will instantly come and stun!
In a bright moment and an hour of forgiveness
With the help of the Lord
I ask you to forget your grievances
Becoming free from sins.
Let the ray of God's Grace
Disperse the clouds in my soul
And all of us sinners
Teach you to love, to forgive.
The answer is Yesenia Pavlotski, linguist-morphologist, expert at the Institute of Philology, Mass Communication and Psychology, Novosibirsk State Pedagogical University.
By far the correct option is Forgiveness Sunday... Let's figure out why the error occurs.
There are such linguistic patterns and grammatical categories from which both schoolchildren and scientists suffer alike - since neither one nor the other ceases to be native speakers, regardless of their relationship with it.
For example, take the number one point twenty four hundredths and decline it without reference. Considering the amount of energy you expend, this is practically fitness. This happens when some component of the language system outlasts its own. It stops developing, causes difficulties for most native speakers to use, and eventually dies off. Such components either disappear irrevocably, or find expression in other forms. For example, some paired items such as horns, shores, eyes, retained the dual forms, although today in Russian there is only singular and plural.
It also happens that the path of the phenomenon was so complicated that confusion arises with it, even if it is not going to die away. With the patterns concerning NOT with adjectives and adverbs, as well as H and HH when using different parts of speech, just like that. Including for this reason, there are disputes over the spelling of various words and combinations according to these rules.
So, Forgiven / Forgiven Sunday (written with capital letter as the name of the day church calendar, in this sense equates to the name of the holiday) - the day when believers ask each other for forgiveness in order to start Great Lent. H or HN do we write in the title of this day?
Here is what the complete academic reference book "Rules of Russian spelling and punctuation", edited by Lopatin, tells us:
The suffixes of full forms of passive past participles are written with НН: -nn-and -enn- (-enn-). Adjectives correlating with them in form are written in some cases also with НН in the suffix, in others - with one N. They are written with НН participles and adjectives in -souched, -sweets, -sweets (formed from verbs in - to eat, - to eat), e.g .: spoiled, uprooted, lined, painted, organized; uprooted, spoiled, painted, lined, reorganized.
They are also written with NN participles not on -swain (-watched, -watched)perfective verbs and adjectives related to them; the vast majority of such verbs contain a prefix.
Examples of forms formed from prefixed verbs: bleached, washed, tied, fried, painted, dyed, peeled... The list of forms of primordially non-prefixed verbs, as well as some verbs, the prefix in which can be distinguished only etymologically: abandoned, given, finished, bought, deprived, captivated, forgiven, let go, decided, seized, revealed; met, started, offended, acquired, obliged, visited, supplied.
According to this rule, the forms of two-species (meaning both perfect and imperfect) verbs are written to marry, bequeath, promise, execute, give birth: crowned, bequeathed, promised, executed, born.
And this is far, far from everything!
For those who are still awake, there are (of course) exceptions prepared for dessert: adjectives correlating with the participial forms are written with one H in the following stable combinations: a goner, a named brother, a named sister, a planted father, a planted mother, Forgiveness Sunday ... Some reference books point out that this is the traditional church language practice.
In fact, of course, for those who were looking for a specific answer to a direct question, everything will be fine here: it happened, this is an exception, you need to remember - Forgiveness Sunday ... But for some reason, this does not eliminate mistakes and confusion in general. Reference books did not appear yesterday, the pattern did not appear, but forgiven from forgiven confused and will always be confused.
It is worth mentioning here separately that the concept of exclusion, so carelessly presented to us at school, is somewhat at odds with what it really is. When we see language exceptions in textbooks, we have a question: wait a minute, why did I just read a long and incomprehensible rule, if something doesn't fit into it anyway? As a result, there is a justified protest: these people who came up with the rules (although the systematization of data and their fixation is not something that “invented”) - where were they looking? Why did they have something that fit into the system, and it seemed like it didn't fit anywhere? Is that now you just need to remember and not try to comprehend?
Of course, in reality, everything is more complicated. For example, let's look at the exceptions "Drive, hold, watch and see ...", well known to everyone from school. In the Old Russian language there were 4 thematic classes of verbs. The verbs of the fourth class were verbs with a zero suffix at the base of the present tense and with the suffix -and- in the infinitive, as well as with stem (ѣ) in the infinitive, and after hissing and j (iot) on -and... The fourth class of thematic verbs belonged to the second conjugation: offend - offend; vidāti-vidisi; hear - hear. Thus, the verbs hear, see, hate, depend, endure, drive, hold, breathe, offend, watch, twirl were originally verbs of the second conjugation.
However, acquainting a student with historical grammar means “stuffing his head” with information that he does not need, since it does not help to realize the goals set by the school curriculum. Moreover, the child is simply not ready for this, this is the professional level of language proficiency, which the school does not give should not be given.
So, the language system is very complex: in the process of its development, new phenomena and categories were eliminated and appeared, which today led us to the fact that we are working with echoes of the ancient state of the language. There is no “superfluous” in the language, there are no “exceptions”. An exception is a methodological concept designed to somehow designate these echoes. So there are situations in which it is better to remember the norm, so as not to confuse yourself completely with the search for truth.
Who should you ask for forgiveness on this day - from everyone in a row or only from those whom you probably hurt? And how to forgive from the heart, how do you know if you have forgiven in deed or only in words? What if you don't have the strength to forgive?
We asked Priest Maximus Pervozvansky to clarify the meaning of Forgiveness Sunday and the essence of forgiveness.
As before death ...
- Father Maxim, where did this custom come from - to ask everyone for forgiveness on the last day before Lent?
- This is not at all some kind of product of folklore, this is an ancient church tradition. Christ Himself laid the foundation for it with his own words, which sound in the Gospel of Matthew: “If you forgive people their sins, then your Heavenly Father will forgive you too; but if you will not forgive people their sins, then your Father will not forgive you your sins ” (Matthew 6: 14-15). This is an unchanging Gospel reading on the last Sunday before Great Lent.
Later, the rite of forgiveness appeared in the Church. In Egypt or Palestine, monks went one by one into the desert during Lent and, of course, were not sure that it would not become their last refuge. Therefore, they were reconciled to each other, asking for all forgiveness, as before death.
- We don't go to any desert ... Why do we continue to observe this tradition and Forgiveness Sunday still falls on the eve of Great Lent?
- Because it is strongly discouraged to enter Lent in a non-peaceful state. This is the time of purification, spiritual renewal before Easter, respectively, you need to try to start your purification, free yourself from the burden of guilt before your neighbors, i.e. really reconcile with everyone, forgive everyone from the heart.
Forgive, not excuse
- What does it mean to forgive? What should we mean by this concept?
- There are two different words: "I'm sorry" and "I'm sorry." These are almost synonyms in modern Russian, however, initially they are very different words in meaning.
Have you noticed that it is often much easier to say “sorry” than “sorry”? Sorry means take me out out of guilt, make me innocent, in other words, let's assume that I'm not guilty before you. So a child who climbed onto the table for sweets and broke a vase can say: "Mom, I broke your favorite vase here, excuse me." Thus, he wants to justify himself: "I am not guilty, it happened."
What is “sorry”? This means: I am guilty, I admit my guilt, but let it go to me, accept me as I am, I will try to correct myself.
Therefore, we ask God not to forgive, but to forgive, which means to accept. Accept a guilty person, a sinner, whatever - but accept.
- It is the same with people: do we ask them to accept us as we are?
- Yes, and in this sense, forgiveness can qualitatively change our relationship. It is no coincidence that the word "forgive" has a certain connection - both phonetic and semantic - with the word "simple." Pay attention when relationships between people start to deteriorate, they say that they get complicated, i.e. lose their simplicity and clarity: we cannot just look into each other's eyes, justsmile at each other, just talk. And when one of us says the word “forgive”, it means the following: “I am guilty, I will try to correct myself, make amends; let's eliminate these difficulties, let's make it so that we can again look into each other's eyes. "
When we ask forgiveness, we try to simplify our relationship with people and with God by admitting our guilt and letting go of the guilt of our neighbor. This is where our purification begins, and this is where Great Lent begins.
Why ask for forgiveness?
- Father, is it necessary on Forgiveness Sunday to ask forgiveness from everyone you know at least in the slightest degree - on the principle “maybe I offended him with something, but I don’t remember”? Or just those who were definitely hurt?
- Firstly, we ask forgiveness from those against whom we have sinned, whom we have grieved, with whom we have misunderstandings, difficulties and problems in relationships.
Secondly, we must ask forgiveness from all people in general - like our brothers and sisters - for the fact that we are bad Christians. After all, we are all members of the one Body of Christ. Whether one member hurts, the whole body is bad - this is one of the key thoughts of Scripture. Adam and Eve sinned - all humanity is tormented. I have sinned - my brother is suffering.
In addition, we need to ask for forgiveness from people for the fact that we do not really love them. We are called to love every person, and instead we "communicate a little" with him, because he is not interesting to us. We are only interested in our own person and those people that we need at the moment. This is a sin against people - on Forgiveness Sunday it is good to feel it.
This definition does not mean that you need to fall at the feet of everyone. But you need to try this moment - the lack of love in yourself - to feel and sincerely repent.
How to forgive?
- But what if a person feels that he is not able to forgive? And Forgiveness Sunday has come - it seems, one should forgive ...
- Anyone can forgive. When people say “I cannot forgive,” they often imply that they cannot forget the pain they have suffered. But forgiving doesn't mean forgetting pain. Forgiveness does not imply its automatic and instantaneous disappearance. It means something else: "I do not hold onto the evil that has caused me this pain, I do not wish him retribution, but I accept him as he is." The pain may not decrease, but a person will be able to look directly into the eyes of his offender, if he himself is ready to look into his eyes and sincerely ask for forgiveness for the offense caused to him.
- But if the offender does not even think to admit his guilt and go to the world?
- Then, of course, it's hard to put up. But the Lord calls us to forgive even our enemies and Himself sets an example for us in this. Such forgiveness seems to be something fantastic, impracticable, but in God, in Christ, it is possible.
As you learn to forgive, there is one more thing to remember: often people who hurt us do so with the permission of the Lord. Not in the sense that they are not to blame, but in the sense that this offense will benefit us.
For example, if we ask God for such a quality as humility, it would be wrong to expect that it will suddenly fall on us from heaven. Rather, we need to wait for God to send a person who will offend us, hurt us, maybe even unfairly. Having endured such an offense, having found the strength to forgive - perhaps only for the 3rd, 10th, 20th time - we will slowly learn to be humble.
So you need to understand that nothing is accidental and God creates everything for our benefit.
Father Maxim, how can you tell if I have forgiven for real or not? In words, you can forgive, although this is also not easy, while in reality, the resentment may remain ...
- The fact is that forgiveness is not a one-time process. It happens that we seem to have forgiven and forgot everything, and after a while indignation and anger at our offender flares up in us.
What's the matter here? The point is, unforgiveness is a passion. And passion, once settled in us, can eventually take root in the soul and, moreover, can hide, for the time being without giving "signs of life." This happens especially often when the insult was really extremely painful and serious.
And who benefits from this wound bleeding again and again? Of course, the evil one! He tirelessly, with all his might tries to lead a person astray, and if we have some "sore spot" - something that causes us to lose balance, annoy, get angry - he will definitely put pressure on him. There is an offense - this "stag" will remind her, refresh in our memory unpleasant actions or words spoken to us.
This scar heals for a long time - it takes time, but you also need to make an effort yourself to heal.
We need to remind ourselves that with God everything is possible. Christ, experiencing torments on the cross that we are afraid even to imagine, forgave his tormentors and will give us strength to forgive our offenders.
In the explanatory dictionary of SI Ozhegov, the word "apologize" has two meanings: 1. to ask for forgiveness. 2. bring something in your defense ( obsolete).
Interviewed by Valeria Posashko
- the last day before Lent. On this day, all Orthodox Christians ask each other for forgiveness for the wrongs they have inflicted - in order to start fasting with a kind soul, to focus on spiritual life. And in the evening on the eve of the onset of Great Lent in the temples vespers with the Rite of Forgiveness... After Vespers, the priest sets an example and the first one asks everyone's forgiveness. After that, all the parishioners come up and ask for forgiveness from him, as well as from each other. On this day, everyone is doing everything possible to make peace with everyone.
The tradition of asking for forgiveness on the last Sunday before Great Lent dates back to ancient Egyptian monks. Their life was not easy, and leaving for all 40 days of fasting in the desert, none of them was sure that they would return from seclusion. As before death, they asked each other for forgiveness the day before.
In pre-revolutionary Russia, there was a custom for the tsar to ask forgiveness from his subjects. To this end, the tsar traveled around the troops, asked forgiveness from the soldiers, and visited monasteries.
For many, this is another reason to pay attention to their relatives. It is the closest ones that we offend most of all. Let it be inadvertently, albeit seemingly not explicitly, inattention, for example. You think you ought to ask for forgiveness, but vanity and haste take their toll ... Forgiveness Sunday is an opportunity to stop, look back at the succession of days lived, to feel the value of relationships with people dear to you.
Unfortunately, asking for forgiveness on "Forgiveness Sunday" turns into a ritual such as "swimming in an ice-hole for Epiphany", "frying pancakes for Maslenitsa" or "hallowing cakes for Easter" not only from outside, but also from people who are completely church-going.
It is useful to ask for forgiveness for something specific: if I remember that I once spoke rudely with this person, once did not help, paid little attention, it would be better if I apologize for these sins "by name." The generalized “forgive me for everything” is similar to “sinful in everything” in confession; real repentance in both cases may equally fail.
Many of us know from our own experience that forgiving is much easier than asking for forgiveness ourselves. Is it easy to hurt another person? Easy. Is it easy to be offended yourself? Easy. Is it easy to forgive? Hard. Inconvenient. I do not want. But you still need to forgive. Yes, it's a big step to ask for forgiveness. No wonder the Orthodox say that the most difficult feat is repentance.
Our forgiveness is definitely in the hands of God. It's up to him. But we hear the Savior's gospel: “ If you forgive people their sins, then your heavenly Father will forgive you too».
On Forgiveness Sunday, the Orthodox remember the Expulsion of the forefather Adam from Paradise. Therefore, the Forgiveness Resurrection is also called "Adam's expulsion from Paradise." It is believed that this mournful event is the source of all our worldly troubles. The reason for the expulsion of Adam is a sin committed by the ancestors who abused the gift of free will and violated the divine commandment of obedience.
At the liturgy, the Gospel is read with a part from the Sermon on the Mount (Matt. 6: 14-21), which speaks of forgiveness of offenses to our neighbors, without which we cannot receive the forgiveness of sins from the Heavenly Father, about fasting, and about the gathering of heavenly treasures.
Question:
On Forgiveness Sunday, it is customary to ask everyone for forgiveness. How to do it correctly? What words should you say? What does the ritual or procedure for asking forgiveness look like?
Natalia
Hieromonk Job (Gumerov) answers:
The goal of Great Lent is to cleanse yourself from sins and be spiritually reborn. For the Lord God to forgive us our sins, we must forgive all people for their “sins” before us: “do not judge, and you will not be judged; do not condemn, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven ”(Luke 6: 37).
The rite of forgiveness is performed on Sunday during the evening service. You need to come to the beginning of the service in the temple and, together with everyone, become a participant in the performance of this rite.
At the same time, we try to ask forgiveness from all those close to us. There is no such person who, regularly communicating, would not upset another with word, deed or insensitivity. There is no rank here. It is important that our words are sincere.
"If you, man, do not forgive everyone who has sinned against you, do not bother yourself with fasting and prayer - God will not accept you" ( monk Ephraim the Syrian).
Read also:
- Forgiveness Sunday: "I will forgive you, but I will never forget this to you"
- RESURRECTION OF SMALL OFFENSES
or what prevents us from forgiving on forgiven Sunday
Forgiveness Sunday precedes Lent... A beautiful and seemingly simple tradition is to ask everyone for forgiveness. But it raises many questions ...
Who should you ask for forgiveness on this day - from everyone in a row or only from those to whom you probably hurt? And how to forgive from the heart, how do you know if you have forgiven in deed or only in words? What if you don't have the strength to forgive?
We asked Priest Maxim Pervozvansky to explain the meaning of Forgiveness Sunday and the essence of forgiveness.
— Father Maxim, where did this custom come from - to ask everyone for forgiveness on the last day before Great Lent?
- This is not at all some kind of product of folklore, this is an ancient church tradition. Christ Himself laid the foundation for it with his own words, which sound in the Gospel of Matthew: “ If you forgive people their sins, then your Heavenly Father will forgive you too; and if you will not forgive people their sins, then your Father will not forgive you your sins"(Matt. 6: 14-15). This is an unchanging Gospel reading on the last Sunday before Great Lent.
Later, the rite of forgiveness appeared in the Church. In Egypt or Palestine, monks went one by one into the desert during Lent and, of course, were not sure that it would not become their last refuge. Therefore, they were reconciled to each other, asking for all forgiveness, as before death.
- We don't go to any desert ... Why do we continue to observe this tradition and Forgiveness Sunday still falls on the eve of Great Lent?
- Because it is categorically not recommended to enter Lent in a non-peaceful state. This is the time of purification, spiritual renewal before Easter, respectively, you need to try to start your purification, to free yourself from the burden of guilt before your neighbors, i.e. really reconcile with everyone, forgive everyone from the heart.
Forgive, not excuse
- What does it mean to forgive? What should we mean by this concept?
- There are two different words: "I'm sorry" and "I'm sorry." These are almost synonyms in modern Russian, however, initially they are very different words in meaning.
Have you noticed that it is often much easier to say “sorry” than “sorry”? "Sorry" means, take me out of guilt, make me innocent, in other words, let's assume that I am not guilty before you. So a child who climbed onto the table for sweets and broke a vase can say: "Mom, I broke your favorite vase here, excuse me." Thus, he wants to justify himself: "I am not guilty, it happened."
What is “sorry”? This means: I am guilty, I admit my guilt, but let me go of it, accept me as I am, I will try to correct myself.
Therefore, we ask God not to forgive, but to forgive, which means to accept. Accept a guilty person, a sinner, whatever - but accept.
- It is the same with people: do we ask them to accept us as we are?
- Yes, and in this sense, forgiveness can qualitatively change our relationship. It is no coincidence that the word "forgive" has a certain connection - both phonetic and semantic - with the word "simple." Pay attention, when relations between people begin to deteriorate, they say that they become more complicated, i.e. lose their simplicity and clarity: we cannot just look each other in the eyes, just smile at each other, just talk. And when one of us says the word “forgive”, it means the following: “I am guilty, I will try to correct myself, make amends; let's eliminate these difficulties, let's make it so that we can again look into each other's eyes. "
When we ask forgiveness, we try to simplify our relationship with people and with God by admitting our guilt and letting go of the guilt of our neighbor. This is where our purification begins, and this is where Great Lent begins.
Why ask for forgiveness?
- Father, is it necessary on Forgiveness Sunday to ask forgiveness from everyone you know in the slightest degree - according to the principle “maybe I offended him with something, but I don’t remember”? Or just those who were definitely hurt?
- Firstly, we ask forgiveness from those against whom we have sinned, whom we have grieved, with whom we have misunderstandings, difficulties and problems in relationships.
Secondly, we must ask forgiveness from all people in general - like our brothers and sisters - for the fact that we are bad Christians. After all, we are all members of the one Body of Christ. Whether one member hurts, the whole body is bad - this is one of the key thoughts of Scripture. Adam and Eve sinned - all humanity is tormented. I have sinned - my brother is suffering.
In addition, we need to ask forgiveness from people for the fact that we do not really love them. We are called to love every person, and instead we "communicate a little" with him, because he is not interesting to us. We are only interested in our own person and those people that we need at the moment. This is a sin against people - on Forgiveness Sunday it is good to feel it.
This definition does not mean that you need to fall at the feet of everyone. But you need to try this moment - the lack of love in yourself - to feel and sincerely repent.
How to forgive?
- But what if a person feels that he is not able to forgive? And Forgiveness Sunday has come - it seems, it would be necessary to forgive ...
- Anyone can forgive. When people say “I cannot forgive,” they often imply that they cannot forget the pain they have suffered. But forgiving doesn't mean forgetting pain. Forgiveness does not imply its automatic and instantaneous disappearance. It means something else: "I do not hold on to the evil that has caused me this pain, I do not wish him retribution, but I accept him as he is." The pain may not decrease, but a person will be able to look directly into the eyes of his offender, if he himself is ready to look into his eyes and sincerely ask for forgiveness for the offense caused to him.
- But if the offender does not even think to admit his guilt and go to the world?
- Then, of course, it's hard to put up. But the Lord calls us to forgive even our enemies and Himself sets an example for us in this. Such forgiveness seems to be something fantastic, impracticable, but in God, in Christ, it is possible.
As you learn to forgive, there is one more thing to remember: often people who hurt us do so with the permission of the Lord. Not in the sense that they are not to blame, but in the sense that this offense will benefit us.
For example, if we ask God for such a quality as humility, it would be wrong to expect that it will suddenly fall on us from heaven. Rather, we must wait for God to send a person who will offend us, hurt us, maybe even unfairly. Having endured such an offense, having found the strength to forgive - perhaps only for the 3rd, 10th, 20th time - we will slowly learn to be humble.
So you need to understand that nothing is accidental and God creates everything for our benefit.
Father Maxim, how can you tell if I have forgiven for real or not? In words, you can forgive, although this is also not easy, while in reality, the resentment may remain ...
- The fact is that forgiveness is not a one-time process. It happens that we seem to have forgiven and forgot everything, and after a while indignation and anger at our offender flares up in us.
What's the matter here? The point is, unforgiveness is a passion. And passion, once settled in us, can eventually take root in the soul and, moreover, can hide, for the time being without giving "signs of life." This happens especially often when the insult was really extremely painful and serious.
And who benefits from this wound bleeding again and again? Of course, the evil one! He tirelessly, with all his might tries to lead a person astray, and if we have some "sore spot" - something that causes us to lose balance, annoy, get angry - he will definitely put pressure on him. There is a resentment - this "stag" will remind her, refresh in our memory unpleasant actions or words spoken to us.
This scar heals for a long time - it takes time, but you also need to make an effort yourself to heal.
We need to remind ourselves that with God everything is possible. Christ, experiencing torments on the cross that we are afraid to even imagine, forgave his tormentors and will give us strength to forgive our offenders.
In the explanatory dictionary of SI Ozhegov, the word "apologize" has two meanings: 1. to ask for forgiveness. 2. bring something in your justification (outdated).
Interviewed by Valeria Posashko
Based on materials from the site http://www.pravmir.ru/
Forgiveness Sunday is always celebrated before the first day of Lent. Everyone knows that you need to ask for forgiveness from your family and friends. But, it is important and correct to answer. Next, we will figure out how to respond to a request for forgiveness on Forgiveness Sunday, what words to say and what to put into them. Before fasting, you need to be sincere, of course it is good to forgive the offenders, but it also happens that you cannot forgive, is it worth it to dissemble then? Or you can answer sincerely, without concealing malice and not hiding the truth.
- Psychologically moment
- Forgiveness Sunday Story
What words to choose to answer a request for forgiveness from the point of view of the Orthodox faith
Traditionally, on the last Sunday of Maslenitsa week, which precedes Lent, we ask each other for forgiveness and in return forgive the offenders. But many are lost and do not know what words to choose when they hear a request for forgiveness. It is important to understand here that some ask for forgiveness only because custom requires it, out of habit, since this is the day. But you need to answer the request. It is customary to say: "God will forgive!" Some also add: "And I forgive!"
Important!Speak these words sincerely, from a pure heart. The priests advise to choose other words if there is no forgiveness in the soul or there is nothing to forgive. Better the answer will not be in the accepted form, but sincere, from the heart. If you cannot forgive the offense to the one who asks for forgiveness, answer that “God will forgive” and wish it sincerely. You can even say that you cannot forgive yourself yet, but you really hope that the Lord will give you forgiveness. Such an answer will help to reconcile with yourself inside before Lent and possibly bring you closer to the person who hurt you.
If there is no offense and say that there is nothing to forgive, do not take the request formally, treat this rite with soul and understanding, do not think about how to answer correctly the request for forgiveness on Last Sunday, answer as your heart tells you.
Important! The stereotyped answer that God will forgive is sometimes not welcomed by the church. There is no need to answer like this if there is no forgiveness in your heart, and you do not wish the offender forgiveness of the Almighty. If this is a formal excuse, then it is also not worthwhile to once again mention the name of the Lord in vain. This violates the third commandment. Choose other words, you can even say that you cannot forgive. It will be better than hypocrisy. Well, if there is no offense, then answer that.
The accepted answer "God will forgive" underlines the fact that we are all sinners on this earth and have no right to judge or conceal grievances. They will tell the person who asked for forgiveness that you are equal, that you are not going to judge, that you are turning to God for forgiveness and mercy. This is the essence of Christian forgiveness. In addition, the Gospel speaks of the importance of forgiveness. When we forgive, we can also claim that we ourselves will be forgiven by the Lord.
Psychologically moment
Psychologists say that it is necessary to answer the request for forgiveness on Forgiveness Sunday, but how, the heart will tell. From the point of view of psychology, the stereotyped answer is not always correct. Even he can be a source of resentment. This is possible if no one hurt each other. It is important to choose the right words and intonation.
If you have been asked for forgiveness, paying tribute to tradition, say kindly that there is nothing to forgive, that there are no offenses. Tell the one whom you have forgiven without fail. It will be important for a person who regrets that they have wronged them to hear sincere words of forgiveness.
Don't be formal about the need for forgiveness before starting a fast. The important thing here is to actually forgive, not to choose the words to answer. But do not blame yourself for the fact that you cannot forgive, it is better to be sincere in front of yourself and your loved ones.
Asking for forgiveness is one of the customs that have been established since ancient times, even during pagan times, like Maslenitsa itself. There are several customs for Forgiveness Sunday, they all have the meaning of cleansing, letting go of those moments that pulled the soul.
Other customs for Forgiveness Sunday
Since ancient times in Russia it was customary to spend the Shrovetide week noisily and cheerfully, and on Forgiveness Sunday to ask for forgiveness, to clear the conscience and body. Here's what was started that day:
1. Visit the baths. This is a symbolic rite of cleansing. They washed off all the burdens and bodily dirt.
2. Ask for forgiveness. To remove from yourself all emotional experiences and worries, all that torments and torments.
Believers on this day go to church, confess, perform rituals of reconciliation and purification.
It is not customary to spend this day noisily with fun and feast. It is important to prepare for Lent physically and mentally.
Forgiveness Sunday Story
Today we are noisily celebrating the last day of Maslenitsa - Sunday, although initially it served to repent and prepare for fasting. Pagan traditions are at the heart of the Maslenitsa holiday, and the rite of repentance and forgiveness is Christian. It has nothing to do with Maslenitsa, it just coincides with the calendar.Before the beginning of the fast, which the monks spent in wandering and solitude, they asked each other for forgiveness for all insults, both voluntary and involuntary. This was important because they spent all the days of the ambassador in strict confinement, not caring about the bodily, retiring. Many did not return, died. The fact that they were forgiven before they died was of great importance both for those who passed away and for those who remained.
