Darya Dontsova

My mother-in-law's nightlife

The richer the patient, the wider the possibilities of modern medicine.

- If you use this machine once a week, you can avoid plastic surgery, - an insinuating voice sounded next to me.

“Thank you,” I said, not taking my eyes off the glossy magazine, “while I’m not thinking about a facelift.

- And in vain! - the interlocutor purred.

I postponed the weekly:

- Your statement gives off rudeness!

- Ouch! I didn’t even have this in my thoughts, - jabbed an uncle of about fifty, dressed, despite July, in a woolen turtleneck, a quilted vest and tight tweed trousers, - as soon as I saw you, I immediately understood: here is a sensible lady who will appreciate the possibilities " Phoebo twenty. "

- Possibilities of what? - I did not understand.

The stranger with a joyous smile took out a small dark blue box from a plump bag:

- Here! Face straightener - abbreviated as "Phoebo". The kit includes a set of nozzles, all replaceable. If you use the body version, the stoop will disappear, if the Face iron - wrinkles will be smoothed out. There are twenty nozzles in total. Are you evaluating the savings?

I suddenly became interested:

- No, I didn't. Can you explain please.

The traveling salesman began to bend his fingers.

- One session with a massage therapist - one hundred dollars. I’m ready to bet that you spend the same amount on a trip to the beauty salon for a delicate face. Since it is pointless to carry out manipulations to improve the exterior less than twice a week, it turns out that you have a huge amount of money flying away to maintain beauty. In a month it comes out prohibitively! Fitness for a woman of your position pulls ten thousand in thirty days. Let's add all sorts of creams, lotions, massage oil here. In short, even five pieces of "green" will not do. And you bought "Febo" once - and use it for three hundred years.

- How much does your leveler cost? - it is not clear why I asked.

- Fifteen thousand greens! - the "businessman" proudly declared.

- Wow! - I jumped up. - You can buy a car.

“I gave you the total price,” the tempter backed up. “Don't forget about the discount. Ten percent from the manufacturer.

“Thank you, great, but I don’t need it,” I said politely.

- Another twenty percentiles from the warehouse finished products, - the peddler tempted me, - and fifteen from me personally.

“It’s better for you to look for another buyer,” I didn’t flinch.

- Fifty thousand rubles? Will it go? The merchant inquired busily.

The price melted like an icicle in boiling water, but I was not at all interested in the skin tightener, so I got off with a short:

“Twenty-five,” the seller cut off half of the amount at a stroke.

I didn't hesitate:

- Be reasonable, - the man bored, - can't you afford such pennies?

- Do I look like the wife of an oligarch?

- You sit in the waiting room of a private medical clinic, where a year of service costs a million rubles, and pretend to be indigent! - snorted ofenya. - Would you like me to show you the work of "Phoebo"? By the way, the miracle device was made in Germany, by the hands of hardworking, neat Germans, and not by some Chinese!

I once again carefully examined the packaging:

- The Chinese are also extremely hardworking and accurate. Why did the Germans decorate the box with hieroglyphs? Why didn't they write in their own language?

The man was confused, and I continued:

- You confused the doors. The entrance to the US-Vietnamese Doctors clinic is from the courtyard, and you entered through the main entrance and are in a private detective agency.

“Damn it,” the interlocutor jumped up. - I just wasted my time!

At once forgetting about the sugar-caramel politeness, the poor fellow stuffed "Febo" into a sports bag and ran to where people hang out, quietly unbuckling millions for medical care.

- Lamp, come in, - sounded from the selector.

I got up, straightened my too tight skirt and went to the office. Be careful with representatives of private medicine, do not come to the doctor in expensive jewelry, do not throw the keys of your Mercedes on his desk, do not douse yourself with perfume at the price of a thousand rubles per drop, otherwise you risk learning about a huge number of diseases that can be treated you will have to work long and hard, using the most modern technologies. However, do not wear your clothes over and if you are only planning to remove the wart. There is one cosmetology clinic in Moscow, where the price of services depends on the brand and novelty of the patient's car. And please do not purchase any rejuvenating, straightening, smoothing face and body. In the best case, you will pay a lot of money for junk, in the worst case, you will receive an electric shock or a burn.

- Lamp, - repeated the selector, - where are you?

I opened the door of my husband's office and, posing as a well-trained employee, answered:

- I'm listening.

I won't torment you with the story of how I became Max's wife. I will only say that at first I categorically did not like the guy, and then everything turned around somehow strange and in my passport, to everyone's surprise, a stamp about marriage appeared.

Max is the owner of a firm that he says is "doing interesting things." He suggested that I apply for a job with him as a detective. Shortly before we met, I lost my job and with great pleasure I would have been hired by any person, just to do what I love. But it is wrong to have a husband as a boss. I will certainly begin to argue with Max at meetings, to object to him, I will deal a blow to his reputation in the eyes of his subordinates. We will quarrel, at home we will talk exclusively about the service. No, the spouses are better off not working together, and I flatly refused.

Until today, I never got a job, although everyone undertook to help me: Katya, and Seryozha, and Yulechka, and Volodya Kostin, and Kiryusha and Lizaveta. Sometimes, when I, having turned to visit my relatives, go for a walk with pugs, a staffie and a yard terrier, it seems to me that Rachel, Ramik, Mulya, Fenya, Kapa and Ada are not just poured with their own kind on the street. They seem to be busily asking, “Hey, guys, don't your owners need an honest woman who can think logically, pretty, healthy, funny, hardworking, not capricious and not claiming an exorbitant salary? No career ambitions, a simple workhorse! If yes, then there she stands with leashes at the gate. "

But, despite the efforts made, no one was in a hurry to sign a contract for employment with Mrs. Romanova. Anticipating your question, I answer: yes, I remained Romanova. My husband has an original surname, but you must admit that Evlampia Wolf, that is, the Wolf, sounds a little shocking. How, ask, did I find myself today in front of my spouse's office, and even in the role of a secretary? Everything is very simple. Nina, Max's assistant, was taken to the hospital on Wednesday night and hastily operated on. It's okay, a banal appendicitis, in ten days she will reappear in the waiting room. But what to do while she's gone? So Max asked me: “Be a friend, pretend to be a secretary. If clients see that it is possible to get into the office of the head of the company without hindrance, then they immediately conclude: business is not so hot, even there is not enough money for a blonde at the doorstep. Do not refuse, dear! " “Okay,” I agreed, “but if I get it wrong, don't scold me.” - "Any girl can serve tea and coffee and smile," Max said, "and with your intelligence, beauty and ingenuity, you will even master a simple craft."

Alas, I, like most people, are susceptible to flattery, so now I seed in an uncomfortable skirt and stiletto heels to the "boss".

“Come in,” Max nodded.

I looked around the empty office:

- What would you like?

- Granny is sitting in the second meeting room. Talk to her.

I furrowed my eyebrows.

- I'm not a detective, but a secretary.

The husband stood up:

“I remember that very well and I’m not going to involve you in the investigation. But the aunt is extremely stubborn and is not going to leave without a scandal. Try to calm her down.

I wasn't particularly happy. Max immediately understood my emotions and explained:

- Sometimes Nina has to play the role of an intelligent bouncer.

- Push out the annoying visitors, quoting Pushkin? I chuckled. - Explain what an intelligent bouncer is?

Max glanced at his watch.

- In five minutes I am expected in the conference room. Oleg Weinstein will come there, have you heard of this?

I nodded.

- Rich man.

- Mister prohibitive grandmother, - specified Max, - he addresses us for the third time. Can I refuse him?

- If you leave the annoying aunt alone, she will soon leave. - I tried to get rid of the role of the bouncer.

- Grandma came here on the advice of another of our regular client- Max sighed, - and the first thing I should say when this chest with gold doubloons calls is: "Andrey Mikhailovich, my people are busy with your protege." I ran. I hope you can handle her.

Before I could blink, my husband disappeared into the corridor. Now do you understand why you should not work subordinate to your spouse? After listening to the order from the boss, the secretary hurries to do the assigned business. But I am not an ordinary employee, but a wife, so I am quietly angry when I hear about the proposed role of an intelligent bouncer. I didn't sign up for this! I just do a service to my beloved, my job is to swim into the office with a tray and, smiling sweetly, treat potential clients to tea and coffee. Most of all I now want to leave the office, but Max managed to inform the employees that I am playing the role of the temporarily retired Nina. The people ran to the waiting room, everyone wanted to admire the woman who had managed to hook the boss. Some of the curious put the most worried expression on their faces and came up to me with the question: "Is Max on the spot?" If I answered: "Yes, and completely free, come in," the man was lost and quickly carried away, muttering along the way: "Then I'll look in, completely forgot about the urgent matter."

The richer the patient, the wider the possibilities of modern medicine.

“If you use this device once a week, you can avoid plastic surgery,” an insinuating voice sounded next to me.

“Thank you,” I said, not taking my eyes off the glossy magazine, “while I’m not thinking about a facelift.

- And in vain! - the interlocutor purred.

I postponed the weekly:

- Your statement gives off rudeness!

- Ouch! I didn’t even have this in my thoughts, - jabbed an uncle of about fifty, dressed, despite July, in a woolen turtleneck, a quilted vest and tight tweed trousers, - as soon as I saw you, I immediately understood: here is a sensible lady who will appreciate the possibilities " Phoebo twenty. "

- Possibilities of what? - I did not understand.

The stranger with a joyous smile took out a small dark blue box from a plump bag:

- Here! Face straightener - abbreviated as "Phoebo". The kit includes a set of nozzles, all replaceable. If you use the body version, the stoop will disappear, if the Face iron - wrinkles will be smoothed out. There are twenty nozzles in total. Are you evaluating the savings?

I suddenly became interested:

- No, I didn't. Can you explain please.

The traveling salesman began to bend his fingers.

- One session with a massage therapist - one hundred dollars. I’m ready to bet that you spend the same amount on a trip to the beauty salon for a delicate face. Since it is pointless to carry out manipulations to improve the exterior less than twice a week, it turns out that you have a huge amount of money flying away to maintain beauty. In a month it comes out prohibitively! Fitness for a woman of your position pulls ten thousand in thirty days. Let's add all sorts of creams, lotions, massage oil here. In short, even five pieces of "green" will not do. And you bought "Febo" once - and use it for three hundred years.

- How much does your leveler cost? - it is not clear why I asked.

- Fifteen thousand greens! - the "businessman" proudly declared.

- Wow! - I jumped up. - You can buy a car.

“I gave you the total price,” the tempter backed up. “Don't forget about the discount. Ten percent from the manufacturer.

“Thank you, great, but I don’t need it,” I said politely.

“Another twenty percentiles from the finished goods warehouse,” the peddler tempted me, “and fifteen from me personally.

“It’s better for you to look for another buyer,” I didn’t flinch.

- Fifty thousand rubles? Will it go? The merchant inquired busily.

The price melted like an icicle in boiling water, but I was not at all interested in the skin tightener, so I got off with a short:

“Twenty-five,” the seller cut off half of the amount at a stroke.

I didn't hesitate:

- Be reasonable, - the man bored, - can't you afford such pennies?

- Do I look like the wife of an oligarch?

- You sit in the waiting room of a private medical clinic, where a year of service costs a million rubles, and pretend to be indigent! - snorted ofenya. - Would you like me to show you the work of "Phoebo"? By the way, the miracle device was made in Germany, by the hands of hardworking, neat Germans, and not by some Chinese!

I once again carefully examined the packaging:

- The Chinese are also extremely hardworking and accurate. Why did the Germans decorate the box with hieroglyphs? Why didn't they write in their own language?

The man was confused, and I continued:

- You confused the doors. The entrance to the US-Vietnamese Doctors clinic is from the courtyard, and you entered through the main entrance and are in a private detective agency.

“Damn it,” the interlocutor jumped up. - I just wasted my time!

At once forgetting about the sugar-caramel politeness, the poor fellow stuffed "Febo" into a sports bag and ran to where people hang out, quietly unbuckling millions for medical care.

- Lamp, come in, - sounded from the selector.

I got up, straightened my too tight skirt and went to the office. Be careful with representatives of private medicine, do not come to the doctor in expensive jewelry, do not throw the keys of your Mercedes on his desk, do not douse yourself with perfume at the price of a thousand rubles per drop, otherwise you risk learning about a huge number of diseases that can be treated you will have to work long and hard, using the most modern technologies. However, do not wear your clothes over and if you are only planning to remove the wart. There is one cosmetology clinic in Moscow, where the price of services depends on the brand and novelty of the patient's car. And please do not purchase any rejuvenating, straightening, smoothing face and body. In the best case, you will pay a lot of money for junk, in the worst case, you will receive an electric shock or a burn.

- Lamp, - repeated the selector, - where are you?

I opened the door of my husband's office and, posing as a well-trained employee, answered:

- I'm listening.

I won't torment you with the story of how I became Max's wife. I will only say that at first I categorically did not like the guy, and then everything turned around somehow strange and in my passport, to everyone's surprise, a stamp about marriage appeared.

Max is the owner of a firm that he says is "doing interesting things." He suggested that I apply for a job with him as a detective. Shortly before we met, I lost my job and with great pleasure I would have been hired by any person, just to do what I love. But it is wrong to have a husband as a boss. I will certainly begin to argue with Max at meetings, to object to him, I will deal a blow to his reputation in the eyes of his subordinates. We will quarrel, at home we will talk exclusively about the service. No, the spouses are better off not working together, and I flatly refused.

Until today, I never got a job, although everyone undertook to help me: Katya, and Seryozha, and Yulechka, and Volodya Kostin, and Kiryusha and Lizaveta. Sometimes, when I, having turned to visit my relatives, go for a walk with pugs, a staffie and a yard terrier, it seems to me that Rachel, Ramik, Mulya, Fenya, Kapa and Ada are not just poured with their own kind on the street. They seem to be busily asking, “Hey, guys, don't your owners need an honest woman who can think logically, pretty, healthy, funny, hardworking, not capricious and not claiming an exorbitant salary? No career ambitions, a simple workhorse! If yes, then there she stands with leashes at the gate. "

But, despite the efforts made, no one was in a hurry to sign a contract for employment with Mrs. Romanova. Anticipating your question, I answer: yes, I remained Romanova. My husband has an original surname, but you must admit that Evlampia Wolf, that is, the Wolf, sounds a little shocking. How, ask, did I find myself today in front of my spouse's office, and even in the role of a secretary? Everything is very simple. Nina, Max's assistant, was taken to the hospital on Wednesday night and hastily operated on. It's okay, a banal appendicitis, in ten days she will reappear in the waiting room. But what to do while she's gone? So Max asked me: “Be a friend, pretend to be a secretary. If clients see that it is possible to get into the office of the head of the company without hindrance, then they immediately conclude: business is not so hot, even there is not enough money for a blonde at the doorstep. Do not refuse, dear! " “Okay,” I agreed, “but if I get it wrong, don't scold me.” - "Any girl can serve tea and coffee and smile," Max said, "and with your intelligence, beauty and ingenuity, you will even master a simple craft."

Alas, I, like most people, are susceptible to flattery, so now I seed in an uncomfortable skirt and stiletto heels to the "boss".

“Come in,” Max nodded.

I looked around the empty office:

- What would you like?

- Granny is sitting in the second meeting room. Talk to her.

I furrowed my eyebrows.

- I'm not a detective, but a secretary.

The husband stood up:

“I remember that very well and I’m not going to involve you in the investigation. But the aunt is extremely stubborn and is not going to leave without a scandal. Try to calm her down.

Darya Dontsova

My mother-in-law's nightlife

The richer the patient, the wider the possibilities of modern medicine.

“If you use this device once a week, you can avoid plastic surgery,” an insinuating voice sounded next to me.

“Thank you,” I said, not taking my eyes off the glossy magazine, “while I’m not thinking about a facelift.

- And in vain! - the interlocutor purred.

I postponed the weekly:

- Your statement gives off rudeness!

- Ouch! I didn’t even have this in my thoughts, - jabbed an uncle of about fifty, dressed, despite July, in a woolen turtleneck, a quilted vest and tight tweed trousers, - as soon as I saw you, I immediately understood: here is a sensible lady who will appreciate the possibilities " Phoebo twenty. "

- Possibilities of what? - I did not understand.

The stranger with a joyous smile took out a small dark blue box from a plump bag:

- Here! Face straightener - abbreviated as "Phoebo". The kit includes a set of nozzles, all replaceable. If you use the body version, the stoop will disappear, if the Face iron - wrinkles will be smoothed out. There are twenty nozzles in total. Are you evaluating the savings?

I suddenly became interested:

- No, I didn't. Can you explain please.

The traveling salesman began to bend his fingers.

- One session with a massage therapist - one hundred dollars. I’m ready to bet that you spend the same amount on a trip to the beauty salon for a delicate face. Since it is pointless to carry out manipulations to improve the exterior less than twice a week, it turns out that you have a huge amount of money flying away to maintain beauty. In a month it comes out prohibitively! Fitness for a woman of your position pulls ten thousand in thirty days. Let's add all sorts of creams, lotions, massage oil here. In short, even five pieces of "green" will not do. And you bought "Febo" once - and use it for three hundred years.

- How much does your leveler cost? - it is not clear why I asked.

- Fifteen thousand greens! - the "businessman" proudly declared.

- Wow! - I jumped up. - You can buy a car.

“I gave you the total price,” the tempter backed up. “Don't forget about the discount. Ten percent from the manufacturer.

“Thank you, great, but I don’t need it,” I said politely.

“Another twenty percentiles from the finished goods warehouse,” the peddler tempted me, “and fifteen from me personally.

“It’s better for you to look for another buyer,” I didn’t flinch.

- Fifty thousand rubles? Will it go? The merchant inquired busily.

The price melted like an icicle in boiling water, but I was not at all interested in the skin tightener, so I got off with a short:

“Twenty-five,” the seller cut off half of the amount at a stroke.

I didn't hesitate:

- Be reasonable, - the man bored, - can't you afford such pennies?

- Do I look like the wife of an oligarch?

- You sit in the waiting room of a private medical clinic, where a year of service costs a million rubles, and pretend to be indigent! - snorted ofenya. - Would you like me to show you the work of "Phoebo"? By the way, the miracle device was made in Germany, by the hands of hardworking, neat Germans, and not by some Chinese!

I once again carefully examined the packaging:

- The Chinese are also extremely hardworking and accurate. Why did the Germans decorate the box with hieroglyphs? Why didn't they write in their own language?

The man was confused, and I continued:

- You confused the doors. The entrance to the US-Vietnamese Doctors clinic is from the courtyard, and you entered through the main entrance and are in a private detective agency.

“Damn it,” the interlocutor jumped up. - I just wasted my time!

At once forgetting about the sugar-caramel politeness, the poor fellow stuffed "Febo" into a sports bag and ran to where people hang out, quietly unbuckling millions for medical care.

- Lamp, come in, - sounded from the selector.

I got up, straightened my too tight skirt and went to the office. Be careful with representatives of private medicine, do not come to the doctor in expensive jewelry, do not throw the keys of your Mercedes on his desk, do not douse yourself with perfume at the price of a thousand rubles per drop, otherwise you risk learning about a huge number of diseases that can be treated you will have to work long and hard, using the most modern technologies. However, do not wear your clothes over and if you are only planning to remove the wart. There is one cosmetology clinic in Moscow, where the price of services depends on the brand and novelty of the patient's car. And please do not purchase any rejuvenating, straightening, smoothing face and body. In the best case, you will pay a lot of money for junk, in the worst case, you will receive an electric shock or a burn.

- Lamp, - repeated the selector, - where are you?

I opened the door of my husband's office and, posing as a well-trained employee, answered:

- I'm listening.

I won't torment you with the story of how I became Max's wife. I will only say that at first I categorically did not like the guy, and then everything turned around somehow strange and in my passport, to everyone's surprise, a stamp about marriage appeared.

Max is the owner of a firm that he says is "doing interesting things." He suggested that I apply for a job with him as a detective. Shortly before we met, I lost my job and with great pleasure I would have been hired by any person, just to do what I love. But it is wrong to have a husband as a boss. I will certainly begin to argue with Max at meetings, to object to him, I will deal a blow to his reputation in the eyes of his subordinates. We will quarrel, at home we will talk exclusively about the service. No, the spouses are better off not working together, and I flatly refused.

Until today, I never got a job, although everyone undertook to help me: Katya, and Seryozha, and Yulechka, and Volodya Kostin, and Kiryusha and Lizaveta. Sometimes, when I, having turned to visit my relatives, go for a walk with pugs, a staffie and a yard terrier, it seems to me that Rachel, Ramik, Mulya, Fenya, Kapa and Ada are not just poured with their own kind on the street. They seem to be busily asking, “Hey, guys, don't your owners need an honest woman who can think logically, pretty, healthy, funny, hardworking, not capricious and not claiming an exorbitant salary? No career ambitions, a simple workhorse! If yes, then there she stands with leashes at the gate. "

But, despite the efforts made, no one was in a hurry to sign a contract for employment with Mrs. Romanova. Anticipating your question, I answer: yes, I remained Romanova. My husband has an original surname, but you must admit that Evlampia Wolf, that is, the Wolf, sounds a little shocking. How, ask, did I find myself today in front of my spouse's office, and even in the role of a secretary? Everything is very simple. Nina, Max's assistant, was taken to the hospital on Wednesday night and hastily operated on. It's okay, a banal appendicitis, in ten days she will reappear in the waiting room. But what to do while she's gone? So Max asked me: “Be a friend, pretend to be a secretary. If clients see that it is possible to get into the office of the head of the company without hindrance, then they immediately conclude: business is not so hot, even there is not enough money for a blonde at the doorstep. Do not refuse, dear! " “Okay,” I agreed, “but if I get it wrong, don't scold me.” - "Any girl can serve tea and coffee and smile," Max said, "and with your intelligence, beauty and ingenuity, you will even master a simple craft."

Alas, I, like most people, are susceptible to flattery, so now I seed in an uncomfortable skirt and stiletto heels to the "boss".

“Come in,” Max nodded.

I looked around the empty office:

- What would you like?

- Granny is sitting in the second meeting room. Talk to her.

I furrowed my eyebrows.

- I'm not a detective, but a secretary.

The husband stood up:

“I remember that very well and I’m not going to involve you in the investigation. But the aunt is extremely stubborn and is not going to leave without a scandal. Try to calm her down.

I wasn't particularly happy. Max immediately understood my emotions and explained:

- Sometimes Nina has to play the role of an intelligent bouncer.

- Push out the annoying visitors, quoting Pushkin? I chuckled. - Explain what an intelligent bouncer is?

Max glanced at his watch.

- In five minutes I am expected in the conference room. Oleg Weinstein will come there, have you heard of this?

I nodded.

- Rich man.

- Mister prohibitive grandmother, - specified Max, - he addresses us for the third time. Can I refuse him?

- If you leave the annoying aunt alone, she will soon leave. - I tried to get rid of the role of the bouncer.

“Grandma came here on the advice of another regular client,” Max sighed, “and the first thing I should say when this chest with gold doubloons calls is:“ Andrey Mikhailovich, my people are busy with your protege. ” I ran. I hope you can handle her.

Before I could blink, my husband disappeared into the corridor. Now do you understand why you should not work subordinate to your spouse? After listening to the order from the boss, the secretary hurries to do the assigned business. But I am not an ordinary employee, but a wife, so I am quietly angry when I hear about the role of an intelligent bouncer offered to me. I didn't sign up for this! I just do a service to my beloved, my job is to swim into the office with a tray and, smiling sweetly, treat potential clients to tea and coffee. Most of all I now want to leave the office, but Max managed to inform the employees that I am playing the role of the temporarily retired Nina. The people ran to the reception room, everyone wanted ...

The richer the patient, the wider the possibilities of modern medicine.

“If you use this device once a week, you can avoid plastic surgery,” an insinuating voice sounded next to me.

“Thank you,” I said, not taking my eyes off the glossy magazine, “while I’m not thinking about a facelift.

- And in vain! - the interlocutor purred.

I postponed the weekly:

- Your statement gives off rudeness!

- Ouch! I didn’t even have this in my thoughts, - jabbed an uncle of about fifty, dressed, despite July, in a woolen turtleneck, a quilted vest and tight tweed trousers, - as soon as I saw you, I immediately understood: here is a sensible lady who will appreciate the possibilities " Phoebo twenty. "

- Possibilities of what? - I did not understand.

The stranger with a joyous smile took out a small dark blue box from a plump bag:

- Here! Face straightener - abbreviated as "Phoebo". The kit includes a set of nozzles, all replaceable. If you use the body version, the stoop will disappear, if the Face iron - wrinkles will be smoothed out. There are twenty nozzles in total. Are you evaluating the savings?

I suddenly became interested:

- No, I didn't. Can you explain please.

The traveling salesman began to bend his fingers.

- One session with a massage therapist - one hundred dollars. I’m ready to bet that you spend the same amount on a trip to the beauty salon for a delicate face. Since it is pointless to carry out manipulations to improve the exterior less than twice a week, it turns out that you have a huge amount of money flying away to maintain beauty. In a month it comes out prohibitively! Fitness for a woman of your position pulls ten thousand in thirty days. Let's add all sorts of creams, lotions, massage oil here. In short, even five pieces of "green" will not do. And you bought "Febo" once - and use it for three hundred years.

- How much does your leveler cost? - it is not clear why I asked.

- Fifteen thousand greens! - the "businessman" proudly declared.

- Wow! - I jumped up. - You can buy a car.

“I gave you the total price,” the tempter backed up. “Don't forget about the discount. Ten percent from the manufacturer.

“Thank you, great, but I don’t need it,” I said politely.

“Another twenty percentiles from the finished goods warehouse,” the peddler tempted me, “and fifteen from me personally.

“It’s better for you to look for another buyer,” I didn’t flinch.

- Fifty thousand rubles? Will it go? The merchant inquired busily.

The price melted like an icicle in boiling water, but I was not at all interested in the skin tightener, so I got off with a short:

“Twenty-five,” the seller cut off half of the amount at a stroke.

I didn't hesitate:

- Be reasonable, - the man bored, - can't you afford such pennies?

- Do I look like the wife of an oligarch?

- You sit in the waiting room of a private medical clinic, where a year of service costs a million rubles, and pretend to be indigent! - snorted ofenya. - Would you like me to show you the work of "Phoebo"? By the way, the miracle device was made in Germany, by the hands of hardworking, neat Germans, and not by some Chinese!

I once again carefully examined the packaging:

- The Chinese are also extremely hardworking and accurate. Why did the Germans decorate the box with hieroglyphs? Why didn't they write in their own language?

The man was confused, and I continued:

- You confused the doors. The entrance to the US-Vietnamese Doctors clinic is from the courtyard, and you entered through the main entrance and are in a private detective agency.

“Damn it,” the interlocutor jumped up. - I just wasted my time!

At once forgetting about the sugar-caramel politeness, the poor fellow stuffed "Febo" into a sports bag and ran to where people hang out, quietly unbuckling millions for medical care.

- Lamp, come in, - sounded from the selector.

I got up, straightened my too tight skirt and went to the office. Be careful with representatives of private medicine, do not come to the doctor in expensive jewelry, do not throw the keys of your Mercedes on his desk, do not douse yourself with perfume at the price of a thousand rubles per drop, otherwise you risk learning about a huge number of diseases that can be treated you will have to work long and hard, using the most modern technologies. However, do not wear your clothes over and if you are only planning to remove the wart. There is one cosmetology clinic in Moscow, where the price of services depends on the brand and novelty of the patient's car. And please do not purchase any rejuvenating, straightening, smoothing face and body. In the best case, you will pay a lot of money for junk, in the worst case, you will receive an electric shock or a burn.

- Lamp, - repeated the selector, - where are you?

I opened the door of my husband's office and, posing as a well-trained employee, answered:

- I'm listening.

I won't torment you with the story of how I became Max's wife. I will only say that at first I categorically did not like the guy, and then everything turned around somehow strange and in my passport, to everyone's surprise, a stamp about marriage appeared.

Max is the owner of a firm that he says is "doing interesting things." He suggested that I apply for a job with him as a detective. Shortly before we met, I lost my job and with great pleasure I would have been hired by any person, just to do what I love. But it is wrong to have a husband as a boss. I will certainly begin to argue with Max at meetings, to object to him, I will deal a blow to his reputation in the eyes of his subordinates. We will quarrel, at home we will talk exclusively about the service. No, the spouses are better off not working together, and I flatly refused.

Until today, I never got a job, although everyone undertook to help me: Katya, and Seryozha, and Yulechka, and Volodya Kostin, and Kiryusha and Lizaveta. Sometimes, when I, having turned to visit my relatives, go for a walk with pugs, a staffie and a yard terrier, it seems to me that Rachel, Ramik, Mulya, Fenya, Kapa and Ada are not just poured with their own kind on the street. They seem to be busily asking, “Hey, guys, don't your owners need an honest woman who can think logically, pretty, healthy, funny, hardworking, not capricious and not claiming an exorbitant salary? No career ambitions, a simple workhorse! If yes, then there she stands with leashes at the gate. "

But, despite the efforts made, no one was in a hurry to sign a contract for employment with Mrs. Romanova. Anticipating your question, I answer: yes, I remained Romanova. My husband has an original surname, but you must admit that Evlampia Wolf, that is, the Wolf, sounds a little shocking. How, ask, did I find myself today in front of my spouse's office, and even in the role of a secretary? Everything is very simple. Nina, Max's assistant, was taken to the hospital on Wednesday night and hastily operated on. It's okay, a banal appendicitis, in ten days she will reappear in the waiting room. But what to do while she's gone? So Max asked me: “Be a friend, pretend to be a secretary. If clients see that it is possible to get into the office of the head of the company without hindrance, then they immediately conclude: business is not so hot, even there is not enough money for a blonde at the doorstep. Do not refuse, dear! " “Okay,” I agreed, “but if I get it wrong, don't scold me.” - "Any girl can serve tea and coffee and smile," Max said, "and with your intelligence, beauty and ingenuity, you will even master a simple craft."

Alas, I, like most people, are susceptible to flattery, so now I seed in an uncomfortable skirt and stiletto heels to the "boss".

“Come in,” Max nodded.

I looked around the empty office:

- What would you like?

- Granny is sitting in the second meeting room. Talk to her.

I furrowed my eyebrows.

- I'm not a detective, but a secretary.

I, Evlampiya Romanova, always knew - spouses cannot work in the same office! But my new husband's assistant, Max Wolfe, ended up in the hospital, and I had to take her place in the waiting room. The secretary isn't a detective at all, is she? However, businessman Oleg Weinstein needs me and no one else! But at first I mistook the new client for a dummy - another prank of the prankster Wolfe - and to smithereens criticized his defiant outfit! In the parking lot of the clinic, I found a funny purse made of a red crocodile with a not at all funny note: a certain Laura Fein asked for help - she was kidnapped ... This is how I found myself in the midst of two confusing cases at once! But that was only the beginning! One fine evening my ... mother-in-law suddenly showed up to our house!

Darya Dontsova

My mother-in-law's nightlife

Chapter 1

The richer the patient, the wider the possibilities of modern medicine.

“If you use this device once a week, you can avoid plastic surgery,” an insinuating voice sounded next to me.

“Thank you,” I said, not taking my eyes off the glossy magazine, “while I’m not thinking about a facelift.

- And in vain! - the interlocutor purred.

I postponed the weekly:

- Your statement gives off rudeness!

- Ouch! I didn’t even have this in my thoughts, - jabbed an uncle of about fifty, dressed, despite July, in a woolen turtleneck, a quilted vest and tight tweed trousers, - as soon as I saw you, I immediately understood: here is a sensible lady who will appreciate the possibilities " Phoebo twenty. "

- Possibilities of what? - I did not understand.

The stranger with a joyous smile took out a small dark blue box from a plump bag:

- Here! Face straightener - abbreviated as "Phoebo". The kit includes a set of nozzles, all replaceable. If you use the body version, the stoop will disappear, if the Face iron - wrinkles will be smoothed out. There are twenty nozzles in total. Are you evaluating the savings?

I suddenly became interested:

- No, I didn't. Can you explain please.

The traveling salesman began to bend his fingers.

- One session with a massage therapist - one hundred dollars. I’m ready to bet that you spend the same amount on a trip to the beauty salon for a delicate face. Since it is pointless to carry out manipulations to improve the exterior less than twice a week, it turns out that you have a huge amount of money flying away to maintain beauty. In a month it comes out prohibitively! Fitness for a woman of your position pulls ten thousand in thirty days. Let's add all sorts of creams, lotions, massage oil here. In short, even five pieces of "green" will not do. And you bought "Febo" once - and use it for three hundred years.

- How much does your leveler cost? - it is not clear why I asked.

- Fifteen thousand greens! - the "businessman" proudly declared.

- Wow! - I jumped up. - You can buy a car.

“I gave you the total price,” the tempter backed up. “Don't forget about the discount. Ten percent from the manufacturer.

“Thank you, great, but I don’t need it,” I said politely.

“Another twenty percentiles from the finished goods warehouse,” the peddler tempted me, “and fifteen from me personally.

“It’s better for you to look for another buyer,” I didn’t flinch.

- Fifty thousand rubles? Will it go? The merchant inquired busily.

The price melted like an icicle in boiling water, but I was not at all interested in the skin tightener, so I got off with a short:

“Twenty-five,” the seller cut off half of the amount at a stroke.

I didn't hesitate:

- Be reasonable, - the man bored, - can't you afford such pennies?

- Do I look like the wife of an oligarch?

- You sit in the waiting room of a private medical clinic, where a year of service costs a million rubles, and pretend to be indigent! - snorted ofenya. - Would you like me to show you the work of "Phoebo"? By the way, the miracle device was made in Germany, by the hands of hardworking, neat Germans, and not by some Chinese!

I once again carefully examined the packaging:

- The Chinese are also extremely hardworking and accurate. Why did the Germans decorate the box with hieroglyphs? Why didn't they write in their own language?

The man was confused, and I continued:

- You confused the doors. The entrance to the US-Vietnamese Doctors clinic is from the courtyard, and you entered through the main entrance and are in a private detective agency.

“Damn it,” the interlocutor jumped up. - I just wasted my time!

At once forgetting about the sugar-caramel politeness, the poor fellow stuffed "Febo" into a sports bag and ran to where people hang out, quietly unbuckling millions for medical care.

- Lamp, come in, - sounded from the selector.

I got up, straightened my too tight skirt and went to the office. Be careful with representatives of private medicine, do not come to the doctor in expensive jewelry, do not throw the keys of your Mercedes on his desk, do not douse yourself with perfume at the price of a thousand rubles per drop, otherwise you risk learning about a huge number of diseases that can be treated you will have to work long and hard, using the most modern technologies. However, do not wear your clothes over and if you are only planning to remove the wart. There is one cosmetology clinic in Moscow, where the price of services depends on the brand and novelty of the patient's car. And please do not purchase any rejuvenating, straightening, smoothing face and body. In the best case, you will pay a lot of money for junk, in the worst case, you will receive an electric shock or a burn.