Introduction. Introduction The essence and content of the crisis of 1 year

Until recently, the baby was a lying, screaming baby doll, but now he has become a mischievous running toddler who needs to touch and taste everything. But only a year has passed.

Many parents notice that it is at this age that their child becomes simply uncontrollable, capricious and a characteristic despot who commands grandmothers, mother, and sometimes father. Everyone immediately begins to think that these are the first manifestations of his difficult character, which will always be with him. In fact, everything is not so scary, and all this harm will pass without belts and punishments. Such a sharp change in a person’s behavior is called that in a child. The fact is that it was a difficult year, the baby has come a long way from an infant to an erectus, he has seen and learned a lot. Already now he is a small but mature personality with his own mood and gastronomic preferences. Such rapid activity of development puts strong pressure on the fragile psyche. Sometimes a child does not want to do what he is doing, but otherwise he does not know how to express his demands and emotions. Literally a little more than six months will pass, and the baby will learn to cope with himself, his character will change for the better. In the period from 9 months to one and a half years, a one-year crisis may begin. in children, they mark each new step in the child’s psychological development and becoming independent. 1 year, 3, 7, 12-14 years are the main crisis milestones that every child goes through. The last period, called the longest and most difficult to overcome, but neither children nor their parents can avoid it.

How to understand what has started

It is quite easy to diagnose a 1-year-old crisis in a child; there are a number of defining signs:

• uncontrollability, difficulties in carrying out educational work, stubbornness, attempts to do as he should, demand for increased attention and at the same time refusal of help and tight hugs;

• immediate reaction to any prohibition with offense, screaming, tears, aggressive behavior;
• whims for no reason;
• contradictions in behavior: as soon as the baby passionately wanted something, he threw it away because it was unnecessary, asked for help, to give, and then immediately refused help, wanting to do it himself.

Psychology calls the crisis of one year a normal phenomenon and gives clear explanations. After a year, the baby begins to actively walk and run, he develops an interest in exploring everything that comes his way. It is here that he is faced with a mass of prohibitions that he does not understand: not to go into cabinets, not to touch medicines, cosmetics, tools, wires, not to open, not to pull. Quite recently, the child saw how his parents did all this and held it in their hands, but for some reason he was not allowed to do it. Psychologists recommend setting as few prohibitions as possible, having discussed this with all close relatives, so that it doesn’t turn out that mom allows it, but dad doesn’t. Give the child the opportunity to climb onto the lower shelves of cabinets and shelves, pull out and put back potentially dangerous objects lying there, removing them from the field of view of the young researcher in advance.

Fear of losing mom

The crisis of a child in the first year of life is not complete without such a problem as persistently following his mother. The baby accompanies her everywhere, and if the door of the bathroom or toilet room is closed in his face, he may cry loudly and for a long time. But this can be avoided if you involve your little capricious child in a game, for example, collecting colored candy wrappers that mom slips under the door.

You can sing songs, tap melodies, clap your hands - all this will prove to the child that mother is nearby. If a woman intends to leave or set aside some time for herself, then she must first spend at least half an hour in close communication with her child. Then he, fed up with spending time together, will want freedom and independent play.

Stubbornness and a 1-year-old child’s crisis

A one-year-old baby is often stubborn, refusing to walk, eat, sleep, or get dressed. It doesn’t matter to him what to give up, the main thing is that in this way, as it seems to him, he shows his independence. Relatives or favorite toys will help you show how to do it right: put a doll on a potty, feed a bear with porridge, wash a bunny’s face. The child will certainly want to repeat this. You shouldn’t insist too much on your opinion if the baby doesn’t want to eat or go to bed. Let him do what he wants, and after half an hour he might get hungry and call his mother into the kitchen.

Me myself!

Excessive independence begins to actively manifest itself, but parents are not happy about it, believing that their child is still too young to do something on his own.

This is one of the main problems accompanying the crisis of one year. Psychology recommends not stopping your child’s attempts to put on a hat, unbutton a jacket, wipe off the dust, or eat with a spoon. Of course, mom will do all this faster and more accurately, but it is very important not to stifle the child’s initiative, otherwise he will get used to having everything done for him, and then getting him to clean his room will be very problematic.

Tyranny or liberalism

There are 2 models of parenting at the moment when the one-year crisis began. The child's first age crisis is complicated by the child's inability to express his dissatisfaction and demands. Sometimes a little brawler pulls an adult by the hand somewhere or points his finger in an unknown direction. They shrug it off and don’t pay attention, but for the child this is very important. As a result, parental ignorance provokes children's hysteria. Some mothers and fathers believe that it is necessary not to give the child freedom, to force, prohibit and insist on his own. After all, they are trying for his good and safety.

They are partly right, but we should not forget that the baby is already a person who may want to watch a cartoon about Luntik, and not about Cheburashka, love apples, not cabbage, feel resentment, fear, disappointment, joy, fatigue. If you nip in the bud all children's attempts at independence and expression of their own desires and needs, then there is a great risk of raising a lazy person who is uninitiative and accustomed to having all decisions made for him. It is not at all difficult to allow your child to do what he loves, but in a way that is safe for him. If he wants to play with colorful tablets, let him play, but you can replace them with large colored buttons. He likes not only to look at books and magazines with pictures, but also to tear thin pages; they should be replaced with children's books with thick cardboard sheets. Any prohibition or mandatory action can be played out in a fun way by creatively approaching the educational process so that the child will do everything without noticing it.

The crisis of a child’s 1st year of life is not a disease, so there is no reason to constantly feel sorry for the child and allow him everything, pamper him, believing that he is now feeling bad and difficult. In the future, he will be able to use his own as a way to manipulate his parents.

How to survive a crisis period

The child's 1st year crisis passes: for girls - by 1.5 years, for boys - by 2, but how the baby will come out of it depends only on the parents. We must try to treat the child as an adult, listen, try to understand his mood and desires. Do not force him to do something against his will, of course, unless we are talking about taking important medications or putting on boots and a hat in the cold. But there is no need to try to feed your child soup if he wants porridge, or force him to play with blocks and cars according to your rules.

If you properly organize the upbringing and communication during a crisis of a child’s first year of life, you can help him not only easily overcome all the difficulties of developing his character, but also acquire new knowledge and skills.

It would seem that a one-year-old baby is so small that all the parents’ problems are related only to feeding him, changing him and walking him on time. However, this is not at all true. Just in time for the 1st year of life, a crisis occurs in a child - the first, but far from the last. The baby's mood often changes, he cries for a long time, and sometimes throws hysterics. How to survive the crisis of the 1st year in a child as easily as possible?

Characteristics of the crisis of the first year of life in a child

This crisis in a child can begin either at the age of 10 months or after a year. In developmental psychology, the crisis of the 1st year in a child is associated with the fact that during this period the baby becomes more independent, and first of all this is explained by the fact that he. After which it is almost impossible to stop the baby. The baby gets to his feet immediately after waking up. Often it seems to him that he continues to walk even in his sleep. He wants to explore new territories, even those where mom and dad forbid him to go. He responds to any prohibitions with stubbornness, tears, whims and even hysterics.

Characterizing the crisis of the first year of life, psychologists note that the behavior of yesterday’s baby becomes illogical, and besides, his mood changes very often. The baby may even resist the parents’ desire to caress him, but for now he cannot do without attention. Often he demands it when the parents are busy with something or are going to go somewhere.

The child follows his mother all the time - clings to her clothes and does not allow her to leave the house at least for a few minutes. Problems begin to appear with sleep - it becomes more difficult to put him to sleep, and he now sleeps much less. The crisis of the first year of life also manifests itself in taste preferences: during this period of development, some children begin to demand some exceptional dishes, others simply stop accepting food or eat from time to time.

When the baby begins to walk, he has a sense of independence and his own desires, which he is able to satisfy on his own. The psychology of behavior of a 1-year-old child during a crisis also changes: will and determination are gradually formed. But despite the fact that he recognizes himself as an individual, he still cannot do without maternal attention. The baby must be sure that his mother will be there all the time and will not abandon him.

If she needs to go somewhere and leave her child unattended for some time, then this should be done slowly, until he sees it. If it didn’t work out that way, then he must be warned that soon his mother will return and will be there again. When your baby is afraid to be left alone and doesn’t want to let him go even to the bathroom, you can take him with you.

During a crisis of 1 year, a child’s hysterics, crying or other similar reactions can be caused not only by prohibitions, but also by banal boredom or fatigue, or the desire to get something forbidden. Entertaining a baby is not too difficult: you can read to him, play with him, etc. If the child begins to be capricious for any reason, then parents need to take as tough a position as possible. Otherwise, he will get used to the fact that absolutely everything will be allowed to him in response to his hysterics.

How to survive a child’s 1st year crisis: ways to overcome it

Parents of a child aged about one year should realize that the manifestation of negativity on his part is a completely natural phenomenon, however, there are times when a crisis occurs without tears or hysterics. At this stage, the baby gradually learns to assert himself. In such a situation, parents need to support their offspring and restructure the way they communicate with him. They become his role models and playmates. You should communicate with your child from a position of cooperation, but at the same time you must constantly show your love.

In psychology, the crisis of the first year of life, manifested by outbursts of negative emotions on the part of children, is also explained by the fact that they are forbidden too much. This is completely justified, and during this difficult period parents need to try to create the safest possible environment for their child and prohibit him from doing as little as possible.

All the most valuable and fragile things must be removed so that the baby cannot get to them under any circumstances, and the most important drawers should be locked. For walks, it is best to choose not shops and busy streets, where the word “no” will be heard very often, but go to a park or a playground. When parents hide things, they need to think carefully about whether they really pose a danger to the child and whether they should be prohibited from using them. For example, it is not harmful for the baby, and even very useful, to play his father’s guitar.

During the crisis of the first year of a child’s life, parents need not just to forbid their baby to do something, but to popularly explain why this should not be done. If you think carefully, many prohibitions are associated with a certain parental reluctance to do something, for example, washing soiled clothes or lifting their offspring up the hill for the hundredth time, etc. Children perfectly feel the tone in which they are spoken to, so when communicating You should not use edifying intonations with your child or shout at him. When creating a certain system of prohibitions, you need to offer some alternative. For example, a child may tear not a book, but an old newspaper, throw not sand, but fallen leaves.

Another important reason for the manifestation of a negative mood on the part of children is parental misunderstanding, especially at a time when the child is just beginning to develop speech.

One of the ways to overcome a child’s 1-year-old crisis is to learn to understand the baby by monitoring his actions and reactions. If you listen carefully to what the child says, then over time you will be able to understand him, so there will not be too many reasons for dissatisfaction.

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No! Don't want! I won't! I'm not giving it! Go away! You are bad (bad)! I do not love you! I don't need you (don't need you)! Have you already heard similar phrases from your children? Congratulations!!! Your child has reached an age crisis of 1, 3, 7, 14 or 18 years.

You may ask why congratulations? But because this means the correct and normal development of your child. According to psychologists, a child who has not gone through a real crisis in due time is not able to develop fully further.

However, many parents are afraid of these periods and often resort to drastic measures to pacify the little “revolutionary”. Sometimes the intensity of emotions reaches such a degree that adults can shout at him and even spank him. But such influences, at a minimum, will not bring any benefit, or at most will worsen the situation (this depends on the mental properties of the child himself and the internal microclimate in the family). And most parents will later regret and suffer because of their unexpected reaction, reproaching themselves for what bad teachers they are.

It is important to remember here that the irritation and anger that parents experience is a normal reaction in this case, since in fact these crises are not only children's, but at the same time family crises, too. Both children and adults can experience negative emotions. This is fine! You just need to understand it, accept it and react correctly to the current situation.

Developmental crises accompany a person throughout his life: the crisis of the newborn, 14, 17, 30 years old, etc. A crisis is a temporary phenomenon. With a correct understanding of it, we can either completely rid ourselves of the manifestations of the crisis or reduce them to a minimum. However, if this period is not passed through by the child fully and profitably, then all unresolved problems that arose in the last critical period will manifest themselves with renewed vigor in the next age crisis and, coupled with new problems of the next age, will give an even greater emotional and psychological explosion than it did. could be.

Why does it happen that your beloved, sweet and obedient baby today suddenly turned into a capricious and nervous pest? Let's take a closer look at the main crises in children by year.

Newborn crisis

At birth, a child moves from an environment completely adapted for him to a world to which he must adapt himself. This becomes a lot of stress for the baby. At this time, his attitude and trust in the outside world are formed. To successfully pass this critical period, only a constant person should be with the child. Mom doesn’t have to be here, but someone should be there all the time. Feed, bathe, change clothes, approach when crying, pick up. If there is no such adult nearby and the need for contact and intimacy with him is not satisfied, then this may later affect the behavior of the child, and then the adult. For example, in the future, very rapid sensory and emotional overload and fatigue are possible.

During this period, there is a so-called symbiosis, when mother and child feel and understand each other at deep non-verbal levels. Accordingly, any feelings and emotions of the mother are projected onto the child. So, for example, if the mother is calm, then the child is calm, and if the mother is worried and nervous, then the child reacts to this with very restless behavior. The child at this time is very “comfortable” and understandable. Fed - he's full, rocked - he's asleep. Of course, mothers get used to the fact that the child is completely dependent on her and, out of habit, continue to think and do everything for the child. But as the child grows and matures, such a connection ceases to satisfy him, and when he finally learns to sit and then walk, a new crisis of 1 year begins.

Year 1 crisis

At this time, the child becomes aware, understands and perceives the world in a new way. If earlier he perceived himself and his mother as a single whole, now their emotional and psychological separation from each other begins. In many situations, the child encounters a different mother’s reaction to events than his. So his happiness from the amazing marks left by a felt-tip pen on the wallpaper or the joy from the exciting process of smearing porridge on his hands and the table may not always coincide with his mother’s emotions.

At approximately the age of 1 year, the baby begins to walk. He has more freedom and an urgent need for research arises. Parents were accustomed to the fact that the child urgently needed them and was in their arms all the time. Children protest against restrictions on freedom (don’t touch, sit down, don’t walk, etc.), and therefore cognitive activity.

During this period, such personal values ​​as self-esteem, self-respect, trust in oneself and one’s body, and practicing the accuracy of movement are established and practiced. The child must be given as much freedom of action as possible, while ensuring maximum safety for the baby in advance. Children of this period react sharply to prohibitions and restrictions, but are very easily distracted. Therefore, at this age, it would be better to distract the child with something bright and interesting than to limit his actions with a ban and end up with another whim and rebellion.

Read more about the 1-year-old crisis in a child.

Crisis of 3 years (occurs from 1.5 to 3 years)

Now your baby is beginning to separate himself and the world around him. This is the so-called “I myself” period, when the child searches and tries to understand his “I” and forms his internal positions. This is a period of realizing who I am to others. A child who previously felt like the center of the entire universe suddenly discovers that he is only one of many universes surrounding him.

During this period, such personal values ​​as a sense of internal order, the ability to make decisions in one’s life, self-confidence, and self-sufficiency are being developed. For a little person, it is now very important to understand any independent action as one’s own choice without the use of adults’ persuasion, the carrot and stick method. The best solution is to give the child the opportunity to do what he sees fit, giving him a choice without choice. Those. we offer him a choice of 2-3 options for actions that are beneficial and correct for us in advance, but at the same time he feels his independence.

At this age, we definitely set boundaries for children’s behavior. If this is not done, then they will not know where to stop, and this is already fraught with big problems in adolescence. Such teenagers will have difficulty setting boundaries when communicating with other people and will become dependent on the opinions of more authoritative friends.

Read more about the crisis of a 3-year-old child.

Crisis of 7 years (occurs from 6 to 8 years)

At this time, the child receives a new social status - a schoolboy. And with this, new responsibilities and rights appear. The question arises of what to do with the new freedom and responsibility. Also, the child has his own opinion on everything. And here the parents’ respect for him is very important! Now the child really needs support in everything. Returning home, the student must be sure that here he can always find support in all the difficulties of life, new communication with peers and adults, and learning problems.

Your baby from yesterday has already grown up. And, despite the fact that sometimes he is still childishly impulsive and impatient, his reasoning and actions become more logical and acquire a semantic basis. He begins to distinguish and separate his own feelings and emotions, and learns self-control.

During this period, not only new academic and household responsibilities should appear, which only he and no one else can do. He can be offered a choice of washing the dishes, preparing everything for cleaning, caring for a pet, etc. At the same time, the child must decide for himself when and what he will do, but know that there are consequences for failure to fulfill his duties. These responsibilities are different for each child depending on their desires and preferences. Under no circumstances should you force him to do anything without his consent and desire. It is absolutely necessary to agree with him about this. The child becomes equal with us. Now he is one of the full members of the family, and not a subordinate.

Read more about the 7-year crisis

Puberty crisis (occurs from 11 to 15 years)

Problems at this age occur due to physiological changes. During this period we observe the so-called “growing pains”. The body grows and changes quickly. A teenager must get used to his new self, accept himself and learn to live with a changed body. Our adult child feels great overload of the nervous system. This is where psychological instability arises; it is easy to get angry. On the one hand, he is very stormy, restless, active, but at the same time he is subject to great physical fatigue and lethargy. A hormonal explosion occurs. The teenager experiences new feelings that he is not yet able to cope with. As a result, we see emotional instability and rapid mood changes. A teenager is overwhelmed by a storm of feelings and emotions. It seems to him that no one understands him, everyone demands something from him and is negatively disposed towards him. The child observes and feels the world in new, rich colors and manifestations, but he does not yet understand what to do with all this and how to behave correctly in this new world.

What should we do during this period? Since this is a “growing pain”, you don’t need to do anything about it. We calmly wait for our dear little one to “get over the disease.” We treat it during this period with care, caution, precision, and great attention.

This period is also associated for the child with the transition from childhood to adulthood. He is no longer a child, but not yet an adult. He rushes between these poles and cannot accept one of these roles completely. On the one hand, he is still a child, his interest in games and entertainment has not faded, and he does not want to part with the world of childhood. On the other hand, he already considers himself an adult, he is attracted by this apparent freedom of the adult world, but at the same time he understands that there are many responsibilities here that he does not yet want to take on.

What to do about it? Same thing - nothing. We are waiting for this period of uncertainty to end and our adult man to achieve full understanding and acceptance of his adulthood. We accept him as he is, give maximum support and participation if he asks for it.

Crisis of 17 years (occurs from 15 to 18 years)

This time is associated with the period of the beginning of social maturity, the period of stabilization of the processes of previous development. Our former child is finally reaching adulthood. The crisis of 17 years coincides with the time of graduation, when a boy (girl) faces the question of his future life path, choice of profession, subsequent education, work, and for boys - military service. All psychological problems during this period are associated with adapting to new living conditions and finding one’s place in it.

The support of family and people close to him can now provide a great role and help to a person. More than ever, your child now needs a sense of self-confidence, a sense of competence.

If your child does not receive the help and support he needs, then his fear and uncertainty can give rise to neurotic reactions, which in turn will lead to somatic problems, and then to illnesses on the physical level. Be attentive to your adult!

An age crisis is a period in which the amount of previously acquired knowledge and experience transforms into the quality of future life. And, if an adult is often left alone with his own problems of adolescence, then the child who is raising him can and should be helped to overcome this difficult period by his closest and dearest person.

There is no need to be afraid of such periods. A little patience and proper attention to the child, and you will pass this critical age point without much shock.

Series of articles: Raising a child - secrets.

The crisis of the first year of a child’s life - what is it?

By the end of the first year of life it increases sharply child's desire for independence. Of course, he had already gotten back on his feet and even learned to walk on his own. Thanks to unprecedented freedom of movement, the baby felt independent from his mother and parents, with whom he was inextricably linked until quite recently.

The child runs around the house, climbs into all the cracks, grabs, throws and pulls into his mouth everything that catches his eye. There are so many interesting things to be found in the apartment! Clinking jars and dishes, crumbly mother's cosmetics, an inviting TV remote control, shoes on the doorstep, yummy food in the dog's bowl... Sometimes you can only wonder how such a toddler manages to turn the whole house upside down! But along with jokes and laughter, there is a clear threat to the baby’s safety, because it costs him nothing to grab a knife from the table, stick his finger in a door crack, pull the cat by the tail, grab a hot iron.....

The desire for independence sometimes manifests itself in the child’s negative behavior: in his protests against ordinary actions, against being controlled. He himself tries to control his loved ones, for example: when he is denied something or is not understood, he can scream hysterically. Unexpectedly for you, he may turn from a calm and submissive angel into a capricious and uncontrollable imp. Calmness, only calmness – this is the crisis of the first year of life- the main event that occurs at the junction of infancy and early childhood.

Signs of a crisis in the first year of life:

1. "Difficulty in education"- stubbornness, disobedience, persistence, constant demand for attention to one’s person….

2. Increasing the baby's capabilities and independence: he tries to act independently during feeding, dressing/undressing, masters new skills in play, in self-care...

3. The child becomes sensitive to your reprimands and comments, is offended, shows capriciousness, aggression directed at you or some “naughty” object...

4. In some cases, the baby even shows inconsistent behavior, especially in difficult situations. For example: he may ask for your help and immediately refuse it.

These are only external changes and changes in the child’s behavior. At this time, something much more important happens inside him: deep psychological transformations, growth of the child’s personality as a whole. He manifests the ability to act not only under the influence of objects that he directly sees, which you offer him, but also under the influence of ideas and images that emerge in his memory...

U The child has his own desires that do not depend on you. If previously an object or toy became meaningful and attractive for a baby only in the hands of a mother or another adult, now he is attracted to it regardless of anyone else.

This new autonomy of the child from the adult - as we have already said - sharply increases his own activity, but it, of course, is very relative. The baby still doesn’t know how to do anything on his own; he always needs the help and support of an adult. You, as before, are vital to him, but now it’s a little different. A child needs not only a good attitude towards him in general, but an attitude, reaction and positive assessment of his specific actions and their results. Without this, he will not be able to fully feel his independence and activity...

The essence of the crisis in the first year of a baby’s life: this is a contradiction between a desperate desire for independence and at the same time dependence on the help of an adult, on his assessment. And also the contradiction between one’s needs and capabilities: he wants to say, but cannot; wants to reach it, but can’t reach it; wants to run, but falls... But all these contradictions are the driving force of his mental and general development. Here we need to erect a monument to the iron will of little yearlings: they continue to explore, learn and master the world no matter what!

How to overcome the crisis of the first year of life:

1. Try to maintain your usual daily routine for a child. But at the same time it must be flexible and individual enough for each child. For example, in order to go to bed during the day without hindrance and without tears or to become hungry for lunch, the child must run around, take a walk, and play enough before this. Regular children are healthier, mentally balanced, and less capricious.

2. Try to provide him the richest developmental environment in the house– more varied, multi-textured, educational toys made from a variety of materials, and even “adult” items for personal use. Encourage and do everything necessary so that the child can move a lot. Movement is always development.

3. To create as few prohibitions as possible, put all things away, which should not fall into his hands, ensure safety like at home child (More about this in the article “So that there are fewer prohibitions... Guidelines for ensuring the safety of a child from the Home, Home from the Child.”), and on the streets e. For example: if he is drawn to puddles, put on rubber boots for him and let him spank himself; if he collects leaves and pebbles in the park, have antiseptic wipes with you to wipe his hands - and let him collect. Try as much as possible not to limit his cognitive activity.

4. Allow him to show his independence: even if there is little time to get dressed, and he persistently pulls on a sock, even if it’s a pity to watch how the baby gets smeared in puree, trying to cope with the spoon on his own. Encourage these attempts, praise the results of his actions. You can read about how to praise a child correctly in the article. “Oh, that word “Well done!” Or How not to “spoil” a child with praise?”. On the other hand, if a child cannot cope with the task that he has set for himself, then it would be wise not to leave him alone with this intractable problem, but to quietly come to his aid: “Come on together!”

5. Try to understand all his requests, And, If you understand, name them and voice them(“Ah.. you want to get a book..”, “You don’t want to go home..”, and even “You want to touch the fire..”) - but this does not mean that you should indulge him in everything, but it is important - understand him and explain why it is impossible, or dangerous, or to satisfy his request. His wish - voiced by you - is already half fulfilled ;)... Try to avoid unresolved situations.

6. If the child stubbornly does what should not be done, does not listen and does not hear you, then it is important correctly build a system of rules and prohibitions, and be able to present them correctly. About this in the article: “The first prohibitions or How to tell a child “No!”

7. If the baby does not want to do what needs to be done: dress, eat, etc. then under no circumstances do it forcefully. You can dress him up for a walk with “distractions”, with rhymes and nursery rhymes, in a playful way... For example, show how his favorite toy gets dressed in the same way, gets ready to go for a walk, and invites him along, give him the opportunity to choose clothes himself.

8. Last in order but first in importance - try to raise your child with love- read more

In general it is necessary make it a rule: the child’s preferences should be taken into account every time this can be done.

It’s the same with feeding: there must be a choice in food, perhaps he is hungry, but does not want to eat exactly what you offer him, eating in company with toys or other children is much more interesting, and if he is not hungry, he will not Do not, under any circumstances, stuff food into it yourself. This is very harmful not only for his psyche, but even for his physical health. Remember the old French proverb: a child will never allow himself to starve. Children's bodies are much smarter than us. The child himself knows and feels what and how much he needs now. The only thing is to limit his access and not spoil him with sweets. They create a habit that is very difficult to fight later.

8. Respect your child's personality and show that respect. Sometimes it may seem that it is much easier and faster to put pressure on him and force him to do (or not do) what we consider necessary. The baby will cry, break down, and calm down... And everything seems to be normal... But this is not normal. Authoritarian pressure as a method of raising and communicating with a child is the surest way to raise a child either: lethargic, cowardly, lacking initiative, unable to make decisions for himself, or, on the contrary: aggressive and rude. If a person is not accustomed to feeling respect for himself in childhood, then it is difficult for him to grow up to be a strong, self-confident, balanced person.

9. Show unconditional love to your baby: hug and kiss him often, speak in a friendly tone, call him affectionately by name - all this is vitally necessary for him now, despite his natural desire for independence and independence. A child learns about himself - first of all - from the lips of people close to him, and, of course, his mother. By calling him: good, smart, kind, loved - we give him a life program, piece by piece his self-esteem, sense of self-worth.

So, to summarize, we can say: that by observing these few points of our article, you can not only easily and painlessly overcome the crisis of the first year of life, but also rise a step higher - lay a strong foundation for the harmonious and timely development of the child, as well as friends, loved ones and trusting relationship with him - both now and in the future.

Is your baby, until recently so cute and helpless, suddenly becoming a capricious, stubborn and disobedient little tyrant? This picture is familiar to many parents and it has its own name - the crisis of the first year of life.

This phenomenon is quite understandable; moreover, it is an integral part of the growing up of a new person. How to survive the age crisis of 1 year of life and should you be afraid of it? Let's consider the features of this stage of the baby's life and the rules of behavior of parents in such a difficult period.

Typically, the symptoms of a 1-year crisis are pronounced and it is not difficult to identify it. New features appear in the child’s behavior:

• sharply increased independence, the desire to do everything without the help of adults;
• lack of reaction to prohibitions or their denial;
• tears and prolonged hysterics if it is impossible to get what you want right away;
• whims for no apparent reason;
• inconsistency (I want it and almost immediately I don’t want it);
• negative reaction to activities that were previously perceived as normal (refuses to dress, undress, eat from a spoon, etc.).

How does the baby feel?

Young mothers and fathers have a question: why did the child begin to behave this way? By the end of the first year of life, the baby makes several important discoveries - it turns out that his parents are adults and can do more than he can.

Of course, this was the case before, but the child is only now beginning to think about these differences. At one year old, the baby realizes that he is a separate person from his mother and his dissatisfaction with existing prohibitions and rules grows. It seems to him that his parents limit him just like that, and not because some activities are dangerous or harmful to him.

Causes of the crisis

Young mothers and fathers may feel that they have simply spoiled their baby, but this is not the reason for his behavior. The crisis of the 1st year of life coincides with the beginning of upright walking and this moment is a turning point in the child’s worldview.

For an adult, walking is familiar and normal, but for a baby it is a real discovery. Previously, he was one with his mother and could not move freely without her, but now the baby can easily run away if he doesn’t like something, and get to previously inaccessible interesting things.

Of course, the child takes advantage of new opportunities. Having realized his independence and his own self, the baby tries to determine where he ends and his mother begins, what he can do on his own and what he cannot.

To deal with such important issues for a growing person, you need to try everything yourself and nothing else. It is cognitive interest and the need to test the boundaries of one’s capabilities that awakens the spirit of opposition in a child. The baby does not yet understand the essence of prohibitions and restrictions and defends his rights as best he can - by crying, stubbornness, and disobedience.

Also, conflict situations arise due to the discrepancy between the child’s capabilities and his desires. He cannot completely do without the help of his parents, and if the adult does not understand what the child wants at the moment, the child, who does not yet know how to express his needs in words, immediately throws a tantrum.

Stubbornness and crisis

Stubbornness is one of the main signs of a first-year crisis. It is based on awakening independence. If earlier the baby calmly wore the clothes that you put on him, ate what was offered and played with toys, now he wants to show his will in everything.

Ordinary activities - dressing, feeding, bathing, getting ready for a walk - turn into real torture. The child does not agree to do what you suggest, demands objects that are completely unsuitable for play, and throws tantrums. It is still impossible to come to an agreement with the baby due to insufficiently developed speech, but still there is a remedy for children’s stubbornness.

At 1 year old, babies live by momentary desires, so it’s easy to distract them. Switch your child's attention to an activity that does not run counter to your plans, and he will forget about the cause of the conflict.

Game elements are also good for overcoming stubbornness. Does your child not want to put on a diaper? Try dressing up a bunny or a bear like a diaper together, let him show the baby an example.

Which tactic should you choose?

The one-year crisis in children is not a one-day phenomenon, so parents will need to choose a behavior tactic and stick to it until they overcome a difficult stage in the development of the baby. According to psychologists, the best solution would be “to be nearby, but not to intrude.” In other words, the child should feel that you are ready to help him at any moment, but are not trying to do everything for him and suppress his will.

It is very important not to punish the child for what the parents think is excessive independence by ignoring him. Situations where a child is hysterical, unable to calm down, and you do not pay attention to it, are unacceptable. But you shouldn’t turn into a “mother hen” trying to control every step of the baby and predict all his desires. Only by adhering to the “golden mean” can you raise a full-fledged, self-sufficient person.

How to survive a crisis?

When a child is capricious and stubborn, not giving a minute of respite, any strength and patience begin to dry up. The question arises - how to survive the crisis of 1 year and what to do?

A few tips will help ease the crisis period and distract your child from his whims:

1. Mminimize the number of prohibitions. This may seem strange, but, in reality, there is no need to prohibit the child from taking all things that are not intended for play. Some of them, for example, lids, bowls, saucepans, spoons, are completely harmless and can be excellent entertainment that can captivate the baby for a long time.
2. Don't suppress your child's independence. Even if he doesn’t cope very well, it’s time to let him choose and put on his own things, try to eat with a spoon without the help of elders, etc.
3. Let your little one lead the games. More often take on the role of a playmate, rather than a teacher, and support the child’s initiative in choosing entertainment.
4. Don't force feed your baby. If your baby refuses to eat, don’t worry; when he feels hungry, he will definitely eat.
5. Stimulate speech development. To do this, you need to talk more with the baby, voice what you are doing, name the objects around. The sooner a child masters speech, the easier it will be for him to express his desires and emotions, which means there will be fewer reasons for conflicts.
6. Involve your child in daily activities. He can put away his toys or things with you. If it's summer outside, this is a great time to get started with simple gardening work, for example, watering the beds from a child's bucket. This way you not only teach your baby to order and work, but also give him the opportunity to realize himself in a new activity. Be sure to praise the baby for his help.

What can't you do?

There are several reactions that are taboo for parents during a child’s crisis. Firstly, you should not yell at your child, call him names or spank him for stubbornness or whims. Although it may seem that he behaves this way on purpose, these are just features of the 1st year crisis, without which growing up is impossible.

Secondly, there is no need to indulge all the baby’s desires and pamper him. The child’s 1-year crisis will end, but the habit of getting his way with hysterics will remain.

Thirdly, do not show your superiority over the baby. A child is not a rival to an adult, and seeking obedience by ignoring his wishes and simply forcing him to do what the parents need is cruel and dangerous for the child’s psyche.

The first crisis in a child’s life is very important for the development of personality. If you overextend educational measures during this period, you may end up with a person who is dependent and afraid to make decisions as an adult.

Duration

Moms and dads who are faced with changes in their baby’s behavior are interested in how long the 1-year crisis lasts. Starting between 9 and 18 months, it can last from a week to a year.

It is not necessary that the child will exhibit all crisis phenomena. Sometimes a new stage of growing up passes almost unnoticed. It depends on the temperament and character of the baby, as well as the attitude of the parents. If the wishes and opinion of the child are taken into account in the family, the crisis proceeds more mildly.

Should we be afraid of the 1st year crisis?

If you notice signs of the 1st year crisis, there is no need to worry. What is happening is a natural and inevitable process. It accompanies the moment of a child's transition from infancy to early childhood.

Even a pronounced course of a crisis is an absolute norm, but the external absence of its signs is a more alarming symptom. It indicates that the child’s psyche has not yet received proper development.

All children go through a crisis in the first year, and changes in their behavior are not permanent. After the end of this stage of development, stubbornness, disobedience and whims disappear, provided that the parents have chosen the right tactics of behavior.

The crisis of a child's first year can be a difficult test for moms and dads. But there is also a place for positivity in it - your baby is developing correctly, and it is possible to smooth out the baby’s unwanted behavior by showing patience and understanding.

Useful video about the crisis of the first year of life in children

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